Hiya, Nagrom...
You are choosing Plan Divorce because...
I heard you say you have an interest in another.
And your WW isn't coming out of the fog anyway.
And DD14 is behaving better right now.
Am I close?
How about a statement of why you're choosing to divorce independent of other's actions or your feelings.
Again, clarity.
I haven't done divorce, so I have no clue where anyone would be able to raise the money to buyout the spouse. I can't imagine courts NOT taking payment plans or awarding primary custody, including residence, until such time as the child turns 18, then the sale/buyout, payment arrangements could be made.
How are the talks with DD14 about you choosing divorce going? Are you emphasizing her mother chose the worse way for herself to end her marriage, through infidelity, which doesn't end the marriage. YOu are the one really ending the marriage.
And I think you really can look her in the eye and say you did all you knew to do, even though you were scared...and you did want to recover the marriage.
Except for making your DD23 your intermediary (really bad idea for anyone in Plan B...bad for her, you and the marriage), you did. See, the way you said what DD23 said "she doesn't intend to ask for" isn't reality...no filter...has an assumption in it. Again, going through two filters isn't reliable. I think you're picking up on that intuitively...which is why you think she'll want more later.
That and first you said "part" of the vaule of the property...and now half?
Don't look for a bailout, imo...what is reasonable and doable independently is important. If you are divorcing your WW on the grounds of abandonment and infidelity, then what is required will be required. Do your research to understand, more than just checking with a solicitor. There are extenuating circumstances, age of dependent, abandonment of said child, as well...you've documented lack of time, attention to her. I think this thread is a sort of time stamp.
Your journey isn't finished and I behoove you to not see this other woman until your divorce is complete. Period. Show our daughter what is restraint, not reacting to feelings, and holding yourself (only person you control) to your standards...for you've already described something in your last post which was prevalent in your marriage. A warning sign.
I thought you were going for high awareness not to overlook warning signs, red flags, indicators you justify or dismiss, talk yourself out of?
LA
