My wife is almost 30. She came from a broken home. Her mother left her with her father when she was 4 and her father, although a decent man, had his own issues with drugs and had an unstable 2nd marriage.
So she was sent off to a childrens home when she was 15 or 16 and there she stayed until she graduated high scool..I met her a few years later ..she was introduced to me by her cousin who was a close friend ..

So she moved in ...blah blah blah that was almost 12 years ago, we got married we have 2 kids..

I can sum it all up to say that it's been 12 years of dissapointments and depression .. not all of it, theres been some good times .. but 80% of it is crap.. a few weeks after we met (long ago) she was seeing an old boyfriend on the weekends (having sex with .. ) ..I forgave it becuase we wern't really comitted ..and we had more of a casual friendship ... but it evolved into something more ... last few years have been rough .. she had an affair with an underage kid .. (15) ..I guess the bottom line is I feel like I've woken up from a 12 year comma .. I hate her guts and I don't like the person I am now...I find myself angry all the time, scatter-brained, having issues with my memory .. depressed..entertaining suicidal thoughts. (wouldn't) I'm still in it for my children..she's asked me to the face "are you here becuase of the kids..." and I don't say anything .. but I eventually open my mouth and lie..and tell her I love her when I detest her and don't even like being around her..she makes me sick to my stomach ..
Our sex life has always been crap ..I mean its good sex ..but its on her terms or no terms..sometimes she brags about masterbating... had a convo few weeks ago .. told her i feel like roomates and I dont like our relationship the way it is .. I'm offered sex as appeasment..but it's just that..seems like thats the only time i'm offered it is when it seems I might walk out the door .. either that or she needs to be high (pot) or watch porn ..
few months ago i had an inapporpriate relationship with a co-worker .. didn't go far..was more of an escape for me..a romantic fantasy gone awry as it turns out this co-worker was on every kind of prescription anti-depressant ever made..i told her I coulnd't go any father and had to break things off..even though I hated my wife ..I had guilt..so coworker went schiz and threatened to cut herself...long story short I avoid that person like the plague..but the fact that I did that..it's just not me..i don't like myself for what I did..but I don't like my marriage either..

thanks.

I think that your wife has more problems than you can deal with.

She should be in jail. Having sex with a minor is statutory rape.

She's cheated.

You've cheated.

You don't like your M. What's her opinion?

What do you want for the future? A good M with her? A D? Continue the status quo? To plan for the future, you first need a goal - what is your goal here?