I am new here. Has anyone had to deal with the other woman being realy nasty? She began emailing me pretending to be a man. She has just been sick in what she has said in them. She/he was confessing thier "love " to me and at the same time telling me everthing that had gone on between my husband and her. She has lied about having been pregnant, having a miscariage and having had an abortion. She has been horribly hateful towards me and our family. My mom has cancer and my daughter was sexually assaulted and now has a precious little girl. She had sent me emails concerning those issues and I about lost it. The emails have stopped but only after her husband came over to our house and asked if we would cnfront her about what she was doing and the false beleif she has that she and my husband are going to work things out. We did that and she did not handle it very well. I also asked her why she started emailing me the crap she did and of course she denied everything. She follows us around town and drives past our house. There have been other issues but the list gets very long. My husband has done everything that he can to get it across to her that it was wrong and that there will never be anything between them again. He has changed his number. He was the one who told her husband what was going on. He has changed his daily routine and is looking over his shoulder constantly as am I. This all started the end of August. The last week or two have been very quiet but I realy worry that she is still lurking. She had been pretty much stalking us before and it was terrifying because I didn't know who it was at first. We have been to the police and were in the process of trying to handle this when the judge would not give a warrant because apparently he did not think she was nasty enough. The officer was shocked. Said that he has seen warrants issued for much less. Our sons will attend school together next year and I am terrified for what that will be like. She is awaiting senting on a felony and I am praying that she will receive time and not just probation. My husband picked a real winner. We can not move. I wont go into why but it is not a matter of us not wanting to. Andy advice would be appreciated. My husband has been very transparent with me after having lied to me for months and our marriage has absolutely blossumed. He has not blamed me. He has been the one to initiate all of the changes and has confessed to our pastor and sat down with my parents and told them and asked that they forgive him for the way he treated me and his sin against our family. I feel very blessed that my husband finally started to be the man that I always needed. Our relationship was very hard, he at times was very abusive emotionally and verbally and sometimes physically. We are not in that cycle of abuse anymore. Everything has changed. I have even pushed his buttons a few times to see if the change is really a godly change or just B.S. My husband hit rock bottom and the only person who could change our situation was God and boy did he come through. I still get angry at times and hate that we are now a part of a "club" that I never asked to join but I have been greatly blessed. Like I said though I would greatly appreciate any advice or personal stories of how to deal with a woman olike this.

MichelleG went through this - her WH picked a psychotic OW that staked them. Hopefully she will chime in.

I would continue persuing getting a restraining order. Keep good records if she contacts you again.

Have you filed for a restraining order? I would. I've had to deal with a bitter OW and her angry BH (which he had every right to be)and worried they would harass us but they soon went away after I made it known I'd blow up their world (I had dirt on both of them that they wouldn't be too happy to publicly share) if they didn't knock if off...that was several months ago and I haven't heard a word from them.

Is OWH still in the picture? Does you H know of anything he can use to blast her into oblivion?

When is her sentencing scheduled? Does you son now of the situation? How old is he?

Like your H, bitter OW made my H seriously kick his own [censored] for the nightmare he brought into our lives. A silver lining but it still sucked.

My FWHs FOW was also a "Fatal attraction" sort of OW. It only took me telling her that i had filed "harrassment" charges against her for her to finally quit.

I wish i had better advice!!!

Tried to file for a restarining order but I guess she really has to up the anty for them to do that. The emails were the hardest past to deal with and they have stopped for now. Just to give you an idea of how crazy she is she sent me her password to her email account that she keeps as some kind of journal. I have not read anything on it in weeks but I know that she is still posting crap. It is hard to not read it at times but it does nothing but hurt me so I stopped. Stupid of me for even looking in the first place. I don't know if her husband and her are still together or not. I almost don't want him to leave her because she blames us for her marriage being such a mess. I worry that if e does leave her that she will feel that she has more reason to harass us. He husband is obviously upset but I think that he is just trying to get through their mess. She has not been honest with him and I don't see any possible way for him to heal. Our son will be entering junior high next year and he does not know what happened. I don't want him to at this point in his life. There had been too much that we have had to deal with and he is quite fragile at this point.Her sentencing is scheduled for Jan 8. I don't know how to stop worring about her crazy behaviour. She told her 15 year old son all about the affair and how she had to borrow money for her "abortion". What kind of sicko does that?

Wow...she's psycho. I have been in a similar situation. OW sent me emails and IMs containing conversations of my FWH and her. Yeah...they weren't good. She also stalked and slashed his tires. But we were able to get her arrested because we had witnesses and we had surveillance tapes. I installed a camera early on when I realized that she wasn't just going to go away.

My FWH also realized, after the fact, what a nutjob she really was. Too bad he couldn't have seen that earlier.

Ok, what can you do?
Stalking can be a crime so can you document the stalking? Video, pictures, a PI?
Have you saved all of the emails and printed them out?
Everything that you have...save.

Everytime you see her stalking call the police, even if it is just to have them write a report. Enough of those reports should get you a RO. Have any of the policemen talked to her personally? I would ask that they do. I'd also ask neighbors or others where you work/your H works to see if they have seen this woman? Witnesses are very helpful in court. I knew that OW was around, but it wasn't until I brought a lawyer into it that I found out that people had actually seen her stalking us. I had no idea she was hiding in bushes!

Have you talked to a lawyer? Judges may take you more seriously if you have a lawyer up there instead of you. Lawyers can be very persuasive and they have some good ideas about stopping harassment. Even just a letter from one can help.

She is up on felony charges? Did it involve violence? Was that mentioned to the judge?

Is there any way your son can go to a different school? If her son is angry at the world for his life your son is going to find out about the A. You might want to think about this. Who would he rather hear this info from? Also, if she comes anywhere near your son, you need to know. So how will he know her if she does? He needs protection too.

Wee, if she is similar to OW in my sitch, she won't stop for quite some time. There will be more. You need to keep a very sharp eye out. Hopefully she will end up convicted on that charge and be shipped off. I will cross my fingers.

And as hard as it may be, you are gonna have to stop looking at the cr@p she writes/sends. It's meant to hurt you and it does. She wants attention, don't give her any, but keep a working file of her harassment. You are smarter than she is...she'll mess up somewhere, and then you can nail her.

Include your H in all of this. You two are a team.

I agree that the son needs to be told about the situation. You don't want him finding out from this boy or worse if he's spiteful like his mom.

You still have access to OW's email? I'd login and dump ALL of her emails in ALL folders in the trash and empty the recycle bin.

Too much?

At some point I will post my story in its entirty but for now it will have to come in bits and peices. The last 18 months have been hell. Will go into all of in detail later. The reason my son is so fragile and angry at this point in large is because he had been sexually abused by a family member for at least three years. We found out about a year ago. Life has been one big turd after another for quite some time. I don't want to tell him what his father did because I know he would not take it well. His dad was not there for him when he was going through alot and is very angry with him. My son was around this woman and I know it would just kill him and my other kids to know all of this at this point. The time will come but now is not it. I would love to erase her account all together. If I knew for sure that she could take no legal action it would have been done all ready. I have to ask what do you mean by too much? I made a vow with my husband so I don't hold feel that she has the same responsibility in that area that he does. But what she has done is so insanely evil that I have had a very hard time getting over it. Did I mention that she was trying to convince me that my husband had three other affairs and was picking peple at random who live and work in our area and was trying to get me to confront them.? Innocent people who don't even know me and my husband. I would love to tie her to a chair and stuff a rag in her mouth and let her have it. I would love to have the chance to tell her how horrible her actions have been and what a peice of crap she is. She is not sorry for what she has done and I don't know if she ever will be.

Same here.


She won't. Doesn't matter. It will come around to her one way or another. We all have to be judged.

I'm sorry for your son and what he has gone through. If it is next year, as in next September that he will be attending the same school then you do have time to talk with him. And yes he may get very upset, but he will also see, by example, how mature adults deal with bad situations.

Wee I found that ignoring OW(or the appearance of ignoring her) drove her crazy. She felt that she had a right to be seen and heard(It sounds like our OWs have the same mental deficiency). I don't know if she can tell that you've been reading her emails, but if she can she knows that she is under your skin. Don't give her any satisfaction.

Too much meaning it will only piss her off to start more crap with you. As Michele said, just ignore her. Without the attention she might go away eventually.

Darn! I was hoping you were being sarcastic instead of sensible. The temptation to read her junk is so tempting and it ticks me off because I don't even know why. I have asked myself over and over and it just doesn't make sense. I have wanted to delete her email account for so long. She also created a myspace account under this mans name and it is a really creepy tribute to me. It talks of how I am his one true love and his hero because of such a wonderful woman I am. As if I would find that touching and special.SICK!! It sucks to know that there is stuff like that on the internet because this woman has lost her mind. I have worried at times that my kids might come across it or someone I know and wonder what the hell is going on.

How about contacting the website host that hosts the email account and telling them you are being harassed and it is being used illegally.

Same thing with MySpace, all you have to do is report that it's a fraud and they'll delete the account (after you've printed out copies for your records). A mother was just recently convicted for created a false myspace account for the purposes of harassing a teenage girl.

I was hoping that we were done with this, I guess not. My son's school got a call yesterday from someone saying that they wanted to know about my sons attendance. They identified themselves as me. My son is not actually attending that school right now so the folks there knew immediately that something was amiss.

They patched it through to the couseling office and the secretary there said my name when she answered the phone. The OW immdeiately hung up. They then called me and asked my why I hung up on them. Of course I said that I didn't. There is no one else who would have called and done this so I have no reason to think it was not her.

My husband called the officer that we had previously dealt with and he said that he would not take a report because there had been a period of time between now and the last time she was harrassing us. He said that we would have to start a whole new report. He also said that this was most likely one of my son's friends trying to play a prank. So in other words what the officer is saying is that we are over reacting and not to worry about it. Whatever! She is trying to do God knows what and is trying to involve my kids. This is not the first time that she has done this. There have been two other occasions.

I have spent my morning calling my kids school's trying to put something into place to try and guarantee our privacy and safety. I am very concerned at this point because this has happened after OWH, OW, my husband and myself sat down together while my husband told her that what they did was wrong and he wanted nothing to do with her ever again. This was done at the request of the OWH because she had been sending herself emails saying they were from my husband. I know this is not true because all the times that this was done my husband was with me. This woamn has also been spoken to by the police and has been convicted of a felony which she will start serving a very breif sentencs for on the 25. Nothing seems to deter her.

It seems as if the less attention she gets from my husband the angrier and more desperate she becomes. I feel extremely helpless and vulnerable. This makes things so much harder to try and heal from and if this wasn't a trigger I don't know what else would be. I am extremely angry with my husband. If he had not had the A this would not be happening. He vowed to protect me and cherish me and he crapped all over that. Did I mention that he did not make a new report with the police? I don't understnad why and I am so angry I can hardly talk to him at this point. He allowed this evil into our lives and I want him to do everything he can to fix it. I just don't know what that could be at this point.

We can not move, there is no way. We are legally bound to stay where we are. We could move somewhere else in the city but that won't do much good. I am so concerned that this woman is going to continuously up the ante. I have heard through the grapevine that she is worried that her husband may be divorcing her so that might be why she is doing all of this but I think she is just crazy and unstable. She really thinks that she and my husband are soul mates (puke). I really don't know what to do at this point.

Wee,
Can YOU file a report? Does it have to be your WH? They are your kids too.

Your WH needs to step up on this and protect you and your kids. It's fundamental. Neither of you know how far this OW will take this. Best thing is to prepare for all possibilities. Contact a lawyer and get some legal advice. Unfortunately if your WH doesn't do what he should then you need to do what has to be done to protect your children. That's the most important issue right now. Your kids need to be given a head's up on this.

Your anger is understandable.