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How do you stay calm???
#2172129 12/10/08 08:26 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
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rosaline
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rosaline
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Sigh... breathe in breathe out.... I swear I'm not a barbie doll but jeanie mack it'd be great to have that level of empty space in my head sometimes.

I feel like I could burst.

Attempting plan A removing LB's --- that is not as easy as it writes... counting quietly... redecorating in my head... while right in front of my nose my darling husband is being blatantly tormenting.

I feel he's baiting me!! Purposefully!!!

He seems delighted with himself.

Devoted wife on a programme to meet his needs, with NO conflict.

I know this is supposed to be challenging... well I am feeling very challenged.

Help how did/do you cope?

Throw all ideas at me please for any aspect of this plan especially those LB's.


40w
44h
young family
Re: How do you stay calm???
rosaline #2172132 12/10/08 08:32 AM
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What have you done for YOU? What are you doing to help yourself and work on yourself through this? I understand that Plan A is about making yourself as attractive as possible to your WS, but during this time, are you taking care of yourself, too?
hug

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Re: How do you stay calm???
rosaline #2172134 12/10/08 08:33 AM
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Rosaline, is this your first posting? What is your situation? Is your H having an A?

atena
Re: How do you stay calm???
atena #2172151 12/10/08 09:05 AM
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need more info rosaline. Is your husband having an affair ?...Is there compelte NC now ?

If so, what is he "feeling" (gosh, this has to be most abused word that i have come across recently. lol) now ?

Do you talk on daily basis ?

Is he willing to work on your marriage ?

Are you changing your behavior and meeting your husbands needs ? And vice-versa ? (you can print the questionnaire from this website and I would pick top 2 or 3 needs to begin with)

Stop all LBs right away. (see change your behavior). Not as difficult as you think it is. Say positive things instead.

Stay clam. You can do this by a) Keeping yourself busy b) reading books c) taking up a new hobby - something you wanted to do but never could. Take the focus away from marriage every once in a while. And dont act on your instincts at times no matter how difficult it is.
Re: How do you stay calm???
rosaline #2172157 12/10/08 09:18 AM
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When was d-day and how long have you been in Plan A?

BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Re: How do you stay calm???
rosaline #2172193 12/10/08 09:51 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
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Shrek's Swamp
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Shrek's Swamp
Originally Posted by rosaline
I know this is supposed to be challenging... well I am feeling very challenged.

Help how did/do you cope?

Throw all ideas at me please for any aspect of this plan especially those LB's.

You cope by setting a time line limit to Plan A.
You cope by getting Plan B ready during Plan A.
You cope by recognizing you are growing stronger with more self dicipline every time you resist LBs during Plan A.

If Plan A is making you crazy - make it a shorter not a longer period of time.

Have you begun clandestine preparations for Plan B?
What have you done so far?

LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: How do you stay calm???
Pepperband #2172198 12/10/08 09:57 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
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Shrek's Swamp
On another thread you wrote this:


Quote
Hello my Darling loving husband came home last night from work very pleasantly - he was laughing as he came in the door.

Gave the children heaps of hugs.

He then called me by the user name I have on this board.

If you'd like - you can e mail one of the moderators requesting permission to re-register under a different name. If you don't do that, all your plans will be read by your husband.

PS: and when you pick a new board name - make it MASCULINE

Last edited by Pepperband; 12/10/08 10:04 AM.
LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders

Moderated by  Fordude 

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