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Crying can help a lot get it out. it has been 8 Mos of my Plan B and I cry very rarely now. Down from crying everyday. So it does get better with time. HANG IN THERE>
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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Though I am trying to stay busy, I am truly emotionally exhausted, bewildered, and truly very sad at all of this. It is mind bending to think that my H has brought the kids and I to this place, but mostly for me, as the kids will carry on their relationship with their dad. Its gut wrenching. Oh sweetie, that is just plain sucky. Come here and vent and yell and stuff. My offer to you regarding 'bad' emails still stands if you need it T2L He also asked DD17 for the family website, which I have already given him plus the password. Sure thing buddy I'll give it to you so you can torture yourself looking at all of us. And any new things we've done since you left-even Plan A trips like Disneyland aren't gonna have you in em.....LOLOLOLOL. He hates that. He hates his pictures are down in the house and hates that I took all his pics and info down off the myspace...Okay I don't get it. Guess I was supposed to stare at pics of him and let everyone think all is well...uh yeah...NO! How interesting. He doesnt 'want' you, he is kicking and screaming about NC with you (which was his choice BTW... NC with you of NC with her) and yet he wants you to 'communicate' and is looking at you pics online Hey you guys another question, so Tuesday is my 19 year anniversary. What if he sends me flowers or something can I return to sender it or reject the flowers. Hmm, this sounds like an expectation and you know that that's premeditated resenment. So blitherly stealing an idea from another poster....
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Just updating...H visited the kids today and took them for a burger.
DD17 said yeah mom I had to stop him. He told me if I was emotional tomorrow to leave so you have space because its your 19 year anniversary and he got ready to say tell her...and I said NO and then he said to well I guess I can't say Happy anniversary so, sad anniversary I guess.
FREAKING PIG!!!!! HOW DARE YOU EVEN TRY AND WISH ME ANYTHING YOU RAT BAS$T@RD!!!!!!! and Yes I am yelling....
Can't I just skip over tomorrow?? I'm so tired of crying.......Just gotta make it through Anniversary and Christmas and hopefully it'll be a little relief.
Thats all......
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Anniversaries suck. My 10 yr was just a month ago, and it was an awful day. I hope you manage to have a busy day so that you dont have to think about him to much. And good for your daughter for stopping him.
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When you say he visited the kids, is he doing this through the IM? If not, STOP IT! EVERYTHING needs to go through IM.
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Well Happy Anniversary to me. I am going to get my hair done today and then dinner with a few girls. I'm purposely not driving so I can have a few glasses of wine.
No H refuses to use the IM's. H was sent a schedule of days that the kids are free. He refuses to speak with them and so the IM's have told me that I will probably not get communication back from him. But regardless I am still sending information through the IM channel and disregard the fact that he has given them crap and we have had to go postal for communication as opposed to email.
In addition my 17 year old, 18 in 2 months, is old enough to visit with her dad when ever she wants. So when he is free he calls DD17 and asks her if she wants to visit and DS10 will go along.
Other than visitation there is not much to send through the mediators. He deposits money every week since the start of this in April so we have no reason to communicate. He calls the house when he arrives and the kids are sent out or he meets them in the park. Other than that not sure what else can be done.
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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That's cool. I just wanted to make sure you weren't going through any extra contact issues.
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Heck NO! I am not talking to dat fooh!
My Plan B is pretty dark. Even when he talks to the kids on the phone I am out of the room or silent, I won't even let him hear my voice. I hate Plan B, have doubted myself, wish I could stop, but I am not coming out of PB. This is where it ends either way, one way or the other.
When I know he is meeting the kids in the park or out front to get them, I go to my room and wait til they are gone. If they come home early and I am wandering around the house, DD17 will come in and say he's at the end of the driveway mom go and hide yourself. DD17 does not want him to see me either so she helps me. Like Sunday I didn't know if he had parked his car in front of the house when we came home from church so i parked at the corner store and had DD17 go first before I came home. She called me and said he's not here come home now. I have been successful in keeping it airtight, no email, no texting, no hearing my voice when he talks to kids, no phone calls and completely out of sight.
Like Sunday sold 2 motorcycles through the paper. Called the people on the way and asked them to pull up into the driveway and I will have them come through the house and into the garage to look at the bikes because my H is here visiting his kids and I do not want to see him. They said no problem. They came into the garage started the bikes checked them out and then when they wanted them I opened the garage and they loaded their truck. So even then I took precautions to try and avoid visual sighting and contact as best as I could. Plus DD17 said well when you opened the garage dad said lets go for a walk to your mom doesn't see me....Oh thanks jerk...that's a mighty big favor there. Whatever!
Anyways the ship is airtight y'all, I hate it but I guess it doesn't matter.
Well no tears this morning. Maybe I cried enough yesterday to cover it. LOL Looking forward to getting my hair done, those grays are coming out LOL....
Have a great day everyone.....
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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He's being a right-royal horse's hinder.
You, dear, are wonderful.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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He's being a right-royal horse's hinder.
You, dear, are wonderful. Well I was actually thinking more like what comes out of a right-royal horse's hinder...eh... whatcha think...I'm right aren't I? That's a better and truer description of what he's being. LMAO!
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Yeah, but I'm not allowed to say that on this board.
Sensitive eyes and feelers and all that...
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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You could try "solid excrement."
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Nothing to say, really... you are doing SO WELL, and you're getting great advice and support... there's just not much to add.
I do want to say have a very happy day today. When you catch yourself feeling blue over what might have been, focus on the fact that you have your kids and a GREAT relationship with them, you are an amazingly strong woman, and you have HUGE integrity. Those things make you rich.
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Awe Turtle Thanks. I think I cried so much yesterday I am done. Weird, thought I would be more upset as soon as I woke up, but went and got hair done, so I always feel better when I do that. So no anniversary tears...Whoo Hooo I am rich because of my munchkins. They are feisty but amazing. I am for today going to try and put H out of my head. Hopefully today he will feel worse than me and I'm sure he is because he really doesn't have many friends because he has tendencies to be a loner and i am not that way. I love people and entertaining he likes to be by himself-which is good sometimes but not all the time. Anyways I will be eating sushi with friends and I picked a really cool place so the atmosphere should be lots of fun and he will be alone just like he wants! LOL Ok I'm off I think I'll go by myself a new pair of boots....
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Okay, I'm mean and sick but I just got this visual of T2L off eating Sushi with her friends (and you KNOW they're great people, because T2L likes them!), feeling great for her support network and her new 'do... And WH is groveling at Sea Toad Hag's feet asking if she'll fix him some anniversary Ramen!!! She'll probably kick him out and make him sleep in the car!!!
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And WH is groveling at Sea Toad Hag's feet asking if she'll fix him some anniversary Ramen!!! They make Sushi flavoured Ramen??? T2L, you have the bestest, most awesome day. Over eat and over indulge and just plain spoil yourself. You deserve it.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Ok I'm back and I had the funnest time ever! All the girls were from church and they were fun girls. They all know what I am going through and its great cuz I don't have to be anything but myself and there not too stuff either so we had lots of laughs! So we planned to go to the rumba room(a Salsa dancing place) down in Hollywood on Sunday and then in a week or so we want to go to a restaurant that has this mechanical bull you can ride. We thought it would be great fun to bring along a camera and take a picture of me on the mechanical bull and salsa dancing so we can post it on my myspace music page since good old hubby the Sea Hag Toad lover had told DD17 that he was looking at it and was glad I finally changed my picture-whatever! LOL Well we got more pictures for you buddy. Is that bad to post em? I mean I don't want to LB but I should be able to go do things and have fun. I mean i would rather salsa dance and bull ride with him any day but its not my fault hes more into Sea Hags right now LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL No worries I would never do anything in bad character. I keep myself pretty safe, that's why I like salsa dancing. Some people think its kinda dirty but it really isn't. Most gentlemen that ask you to dance are very respectful. Salsa is a part of the ballroom dancing so its very much an art-lots of spins, turns and things. Good clean fun. Anyways I know that he would wonder why I am not crying at home for him and would wonder where in the heck am I and with whom. Too bad not your business anymore. Plus all the girls that go with me are usually from church and even the Pastors daughter goes with us. Anyways very glad that I planned this on my 19th anniversary, I know I had way way more fun than he did. I really had a great time. So I guess he called while I was out and is coming to visit the kids again tomorrow. So I have decided that I want my PB even tighter even though I have had no sight or contact at all. I have now asked the kids to let him know that they are bored of the park behind the house and now to have him meet you guys and another park at the other end of the city. I dont want him parking his car in front of my house and visiting behind the house at the park then coming back and visiting more with the kids in the front yard. This should stop that. H also sent DD17 today a text about my bank account balance. DD17 forwarded it to me and i never responded. I told DD17 tonight that if he does that again your answer to anything is IDK. So she know now to say IDK to everything humanly possible. I had told the kids that if he asks about me or what I am doing the answer is IDK but I didn't think he would text her about my bank account(its joint still). Altogether now IDK IDK IDK IDK jerk pig butt face ooops there I go again with that darn inner monologue. Heee heee hee Darn and I was doing so well. Okay going to bed its late, I hope his ramen was cold hard and flavorless, man I sound mean don't I. Night y'all
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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I hope his ramen was cold hard and flavorless, take a picture of me on the mechanical bull and salsa dancing so we can post it on my myspace music page since good old hubby the Sea Hag Toad lover had told DD17 that he was looking at it Yeah, show him you have a LIFE outside of his drama and that you are having an interesting and fun life without him! Anyways very glad that I planned this on my 19th anniversary, I know I had way way more fun than he did. I really had a great time.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Hey T, I'm glad you had a good time on your anniversary. I had a GREAT time on mine this year!! It was sensory overload, I tell ya!! Say, you need to grab those goils and get to a belly dancing class, pronto!! I GAR-ON-TEE you will LOVE it!! Charlotte
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Yes Yes YES put Salsa pics and Bull riding pics on your MySpace!!
If recreational activity is one of his ENs, he'll be looking at all the fun stuff you do and then he'll look at STH and, well, I think she'll come up lacking.
And because you're in Plan B, which is NOTHING about WH, you should put the pics up just to celebrate life and share your good times with your MySpace friends and family.
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