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I do not have much time, so I will choose my words carefully and parsimoniously.
I am happy you have found an artifice to make you feel better, less responsible, not guilty, guiless and generally not culpable. Good for you.
But you should know, there are a growing number of textual analysts who believe the warm and fuzzy forgiveness parts of the gospels were added much later by people with their own agendas (perhaps by public adulterers?) and that all sinners were treated much more like the money changers were treated, in general.
Adulterers and former adulterers should indeed take it up with their god. And IMO stay away from the rest of us forever. And note that no contact with anyone other than other former adulterers, liars, cheaters and thieves has nothing to do with any perceived lack of forgiveness. All such should feel forgiven as much as they want.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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...we do have examples about what it looks like for the sexually immoral (which includes adultery) to meet their God. The Gospel of John shows us clearly Jesus' heart regarding those issues...
...People who commit adultery CAN and DO change...For Christians, it should be plain to see...There is great power in the Cross...A full surrender to God is what is required...
...It is a matter of surrender and believing that God means everything He said (complete trust in that)... Thank you so much for posting these verses today, MrsWondering. I needed to be reminded of this. Thanks. -L4
Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08
DS10
DD8
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I do not have much time, so I will choose my words carefully and parsimoniously.
I am happy you have found an artifice to make you feel better, less responsible, not guilty, guiless and generally not culpable. Good for you.
But you should know, there are a growing number of textual analysts who believe the warm and fuzzy forgiveness parts of the gospels were added much later by people with their own agendas (perhaps by public adulterers?) and that all sinners were treated much more like the money changers were treated, in general.
Adulterers and former adulterers should indeed take it up with their god. And IMO stay away from the rest of us forever. And note that no contact with anyone other than other former adulterers, liars, cheaters and thieves has nothing to do with any perceived lack of forgiveness. All such should feel forgiven as much as they want. Aph, I think you have hit an all time low, trying to re-write the Bible to leave out the parts about forgiveness. It borders on blasphemy. For if God won't forgive adultery, and cast that sin into the depths of the sea to remember no more (as He has promised to do with ALL sin we repent of) then we are all going straight to hell anyhow, for we have all sinned. You seem very very troubled. I hope you will get the help you need.
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Oh, for pity’s sake. Try reading it again.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Posts: 11,539
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Ephesians 1:7 (New International Version)
7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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88life
Time that you can't get back seems to bother you. Then stop dillydallying.
Your 34. If you can't handle plan A then stop and go plan B.
One does not have to go six months if they find it to hard. There have been BH's that did a short plan A then went to plan B. For many a WW will not respond until they are faced with NC with their BH.
Do plan B now. In six months file for divorce. If you worry about having to be separated for a year before you divorce. Do plan B and legal sep at the same time. If WW does not want to come back you have only spent one year from today. You'll be 35.
After one year post D at 36 one is young enough to find a girl and start a family. You meet her, married her at 37. Your education I assume is done and you are established in a career. You will be in a finacial position to have kids right away.
Fisrt kid at age 38. Twentt two years later F1 is out of college and you are 60. And, your not even old enough for early social security. That sounds like a blueprint that is not likely to happen like that. I agree with alot of folks in this thread who say you need to heal. I know that it took me a long time to heal after a 3 year relationship back in HS/College and my GF cheated on me and then bounced. I did rebound and hook up with someone way to early. I know I need to heal and I am not sure how long it will take. It just sucks because I have goals that I write down and most of the goals to date that I have achieved are around career, finances, etc. I thought I was on the way with what I want family wise, so yeah i feel like I have 7.5 years of lost time and growing. I guess it's just life.....deal with it.
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Well, not really lost time. You have found MB and now can formulate a plan on what you need from a partner.
Do you think your wife has an alcohol problem? Does she work outside the home?
Anyway, I know that it doesn't make you feel any better, but you are better off without children with your wife the way she is now.
Make changes you need to make, go to Plan B, and see what happens.
If you end up divorced against your will, you still have lots and lots of time for a family.
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