It's Saturday night...
Still no actual tangible proof!!!! This is driving me nuts!!
After last week I was asked to never go out with my wife again - so we agreed Friday her night out Saturday mine. that defo was NOT a POJA
Well this Friday rolled by & she choose to go to bed after being very abrupt.
Tonight was supposed to be for me to do as I please. Had no intentions other than chill out at home.
I feel so taken for granted!!! Urggghhhh, Annnnnnoyyyedd etc. etc.
I played Monopoly with the kids while she was upstairs 'working' on her computer.
9o'clock I started to put the kids to bed.
She leaps up "Oh is that the time, tells the children she has to go out with her brother".
Argggg I could feel my red face going deeper shades.
I am so p'd off right now.
How do/did you refrain from spitting it out just how bloody upset you felt without breaking into shouting match????
I know if I say anything the answer is always "handle it" or "that's your problem" or some very vile unprintable stuff said in a tone that rises so as to shut me up before the kids hear, new angle is to start accusing me of needing anger mgmt.
Yeah well I could possible do with it in light of being played for a fool.
I am angry. Angry at my own lack of strong action - no proof.
Angry at being silent for the sake of peace.
Angry at being ignored.
Angry at being treated like I'm not of any importance.
The list can be added, I'll stop there cos it's just not productive at the moment.
God I feel abused right now in this moment.
How did/do you do it??? Stay quietly calm right in the face of lie an outright dispicable soul destroying lie.
I want to slap her accross the face, though that just wouldn't help in any way.
Just said prayers with our little folks.
Made myself some sweet tea, smoked a ciggie.
I am nearly afraid to drink at this point, because I would like to get drunk in hopes of feeling happy, which would be false happy. I an sooo fubar right now.
God give me strength please.
God give me grace.
Feel like driving after them & confronting right now.
They're in a pub so that's just so convienient to have jsut met there by coincidence & I'd be portrayed as the jealous/controlling fool.
Feel like locking the door, with all her stuff out on the driveway. When the taxi brings her home locked out of brains at 2 in the morning.
And I'm supposed to sit comfortably here fking watching the tv, minding our children while she's out in a pub with her er em 'brother' who is single & on the pull.
Lucky me I've got two lovely children.
