How ya' been feeling lately? Have you seen the counselor yet?<P>I picked up a book this weekend & I think it may help you out. When Love Dies : How to Save a Hopeless Marriage by Judy Bodmer <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0849937140/qid=940273792/sr=1-6/002-8157962-9379416" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0849937140/qid=940273792/sr=1-6/002-8157962-9379416</A> <P>I haven't read it all yet, but it is quite interesting. It was written by a lady who felt her marriage & her husband weren't worth anything.<P>Quote from the author<BR>"After seven years of marriage I found myself wed to a man who I not only didn't love, but didn't even like. I thought divorce was the only solution, but I found another way and I want to tell other women what I discovered."<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Hey Chris!<P>Book sounds interesting. Why don't you type it all out for me on your website and I'll read it there! LOL LOL LOL<P>Just kiddin'<P>No counseling yet. I'm still considering canceling the appt. I just don't wanna go, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm sooooooooo sick of all of it. Can you relate? DUH<P>I'm actually stable and sane this week. Thoughts of the OM are very very few and when I do think of him ... I think 'what a loser'.<P>H and I did have a fight last night (battle of the wills). He wanted me to go to a concert with him and I didn't want to go. I guess if I was a "good" wife I would have submitted to what HE wanted. But I stood my ground, he got mad and I could care less.<P>This junk just sucks.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>No counseling yet. I'm still considering canceling the appt. I just don't wanna go, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm sooooooooo sick of all of it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Maya, if you cancel that appointment, I’ll have to hurt ya. <P>I think you’re just scared you’ll find out you CAN have a great marriage, and your excuse will just go out the window.<P>Just call me “poophead...” <P><P>------------------<BR>No marriage was ever healed by the judicious application of hatred.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>This junk just sucks.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Don't I wish!!! LOL<P>Please don't cancel the appt Maya. Go, go, go, go, go, go!!! Jump right into it. You have some issues you need to deal with to get past all this. I don't want to be in it anymore than you do. Besides, what am I gonna tell my Wife when she comes back? "Maya couldn't handle it so you can't talk with her about how to get through all this crap."<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

You guys are soooooooo hard on me! <P>LOL<P>You just DON'T understand. I'm not a talker about MYSELF. I can carry on a conversation about anything (gossip used to be my speciality .... but I've been convicted of that and it's gone by the wayside) but I don't like to talk about myself. I cannot form words the tell what's in my head ... and most of it I can't get out anyway.<P>blech.<P>I only spill on here cauz it's "safe" ... none of you know me, none of you are connected to the situation.<P>Maybe I'm worried about being "accountable" to the marriage (like POOPHEAD suggested). Maybe I just wanna bury my head cauz THIS IS JUST TOO HARD TO DO.<P>Crap.

hey poophead,<BR>ha ha ha ha sorry couldn't resist.....<BR>maya, counseling does help in one sense that you may not have thought of...it gives you one 'scheduled' time where you can go deal with your venting and stuff and then you can table it til the next time if you want to. does that make any sense?<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>

Safe?!?! Wait 'till I update my web page!<P><B>This week featuring MAYA!!</B><P>Just joking.<P>Hey, nothing worth having is easy. You wanna feel like crap the rest of your life? Don't go to counseling.<BR>Or would you rather feel like crap for awhile, then have the absolute best time of your life?<P>You have to go Maya. We are all counting on you fixing this garbage. I've known you for long enough to know that you will get through this whether you like it or not!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Thanks, Kel .... but I "vent" here quite a lot (if you haven't noticed!!! LOL)<P>I have one friend that I bare my soul to (female of course ... learned my lesson there!). <P>We're talking about a perfect stranger that doesn't know what's been going on for almost 2 years, which means I have to bring her up to speed. Just the thought of telling it over again make even ME sleepy.<P>I don't know what my problem is. Maybe I'm thinking it's a waste of time too??

Chris, what do you mean that I will get thru this whether I like it or not? <P>You make me laugh. Thank you for that.

maya,<BR>before my first appt, i typed up a two page summary and dropped it off for the counselor to read first. what i want to tell you though is the counselor doesn't really tell me what to do....he sort of gently guides me through my own feelings and 'validates' how i'm feeling sometimes...that's a nice thing. i'd give it a try...<BR>and yes, hon, i noticed you vent here...print out a few pages to go with your summary....<BR>where's poophead anyway??? lol lol lol<BR><P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>

Poophead / Whodat ... just comes and goes around .... pops in just long enough to MAKE SENSE and then leaves. I just HATE that about him! <P>The typed summary sounds good ... is that kosher??<BR>

I mean we are going to be behind you pushing you through the doorway! Besides, you have too much gumption to NOT finish this crap.<P>Remember, this is the internet. We can find out quite a bit about a person. When me & whodat show up on your doorstep, don't be surprised!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The typed summary sounds good ... is that kosher??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Depends on what kind of paper you use... <BR>

YOU CANNOT FIND ME! <P>I've faked all the information that's all over the internet.<P>Oh crap. Whodat does know my true identity.<P>Shall I make cookies for your visit?

Okay, guys. I'm going home. I will let you hassle me tomorrow morning!<P>Live long and prosper!

Hey, watch out for that accident on 5th street. I'd recommend you take the long way around the lake. LOL

COOKIES? I wana come, I wana come, I wana come, I wana come, I wana come....

Maya,<P>HEY!!! You make cookies for the guys that HASSLE you???<P>That does it! No more Mr. Nice Guy!!! <BR>

Hey Maya, my H is exactly like you.He can talk ( how he can talk! ) about everything and is always interesting.The only thing he can't talk about is himself, or his feelings, that won't come out no matter what . Nevertheless he was able to bring himself to not only enter the building but the counselor's office as well He looked like he was ready to jump and leave at any minute but he stayed.He hated it, and was talking in one word sentences, but he went. <P>And yes, the reasons for his reluctance to go, where not only the fact that he has trouble opening up with friends or family, let alone a complete stranger, but also the fear of realising he was wrong, and that yes our marriage could still work ( Man... does that mean I'm wasting all these nice justifications for it not to work? ).<P>Maya,you have no way out. Whodat and Chris will pick you up and deposit you in the chair of the counsellors office. Better save yourself the embaressment. <P>By the way, I also wrote a sumary for my counselor. It helped me so I didn't have to go trough the whole thing from the beginind, and helped her to have an idea of the situation before I got there. Actually, not only I wrote a sumary, but she asked me if I wanted to leave a short description of my week everytime I went there. She was actually o.k., sometimes she would even call me with questions or suggestions regarding what I wrote . Hubby dear of course, couldn't bring himself to write anything, but hey, just going was a big step <P>O.K., I kind of harassed you too, can I have my cookies now? <P>Take care, Maya, and don't forget to tell us how the counselling went LOL<P>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.<p>[This message has been edited by Kat1 (edited October 19, 1999).]