HOPE!!!! I am so glad you registered! Hey everyone say Hi to Hope I have been talking with her for about 5 months now on the Divorce Remedy forum and I told her to come here and post. Will you guys all go to her thread?

She is a gem! Vets can ya do that for me?

Yes church tonight. Have some more boundary stuff I'm am trying to figure out what to do. It never ends. Will post once I get my crap together.

Hi Hope!!! I've been dropping in on your thread. Welcome.

T2L, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I see you posting on other folks' threads and your voice is one of clarity and wisdom in the midst of fresh pain. Truly inspiring. Thank you.

Hey T2L, you go girl. Oscar awards are coming out and your nominated for supporting role. whoa whoa. will keep you posted. lol

Hope
Awe man that was so fun! Man I am laughing still. Whew what a rush!!!! I have never done anything like that before it was scary and fun!!!!! And the Oscar goes to T2L for best actress in work Place exposure roll.

Anyone need any work place exposure??? I'll call for ya and act like someone really important!

Ok so let me know what came of that!!!

Ooops, did I miss something?

Yes you did, B, and so did I. I have NO CLUE what just happened, even after a glance over at Hope's thread.

T2L, SPILL IT YOUNG LADY!!!!!

Well my friend Hope who I met at the forum from Divorce Remedy book cooked up this great plan. Hope is pretty torn about exposure since her H is dating secretary. I told her until she decides what can we do to make the affair less fun. What kind of exposure can you do.

So Hope in all her cleverness thought of this idea. Its brilliant. So at her work there is this program where you can anonymously report things at the company with out the repercussions of revealing who you are. So she emailed me all the info and I called the OW and acted like i was the one investigating and taking preliminary info before the investigation takes place. I was pretty darn good If I say so myself. LOL

It was fun! I asked her several times if she understood the companies supervisory chain of command and regulations about inappropriate relationships between employees. Boy was that fun! The OW was shaking in her boots!

Haha...nice. I bet she was peeing in her pants!

Edit: I hope that Hope decided to expose to her WH's workplace.

I am trying to push the envelope as much as I could without actually going all the way to turn them in to expose and fire them. After the new year and seeing my family I need to make some serious decisions that will ultimately affect my family in an adverse way at least for short term.
I do know how serious this is but for today I appreciated Ow in the "hot seat".

I understand Hope, its not an easy decision, as with anything in life of great importance. I think the best part about it is should you get the courage to do whats necessary, YOU get to make the decision and NOT H. YOU get to take control of your life and not wait around for H or OW to drop bombs on you.

I really would love to see you get to go home as I know you are a family girl! The support there may be what you need plus I know your H would be miserable with you and DD gone. I think it would definitely make the fantasy start to suck big time.

I wish I coulda seen that!!!!

I have to say I wish you could have seen T2L too. T2L can start a new career. She was firm, concise, and it was probably the first time that the OW was probably anything close to accountable since this started.

So DD17 and DS10 did go see H today for the visit, he ended up coming.

So I say how was the visit guys? They say good. Are you ready for this?......DD17 says daddy said he should wrap his self in a box and put his self on the front door Christmas Day and DD17 says yeah you should.

And I reply and Yeah I'll unwrap it and hand him a letter of conditions before he can even come in. LMAO

So to say the least I am going to print a copy of my Extraordinary Protection Measures for our Marriage(Conditions) to hand him should he show up at the door Christmas morning.

I will not be moved as far as I am concerned I will treat it as any other day and he will absolutely not get in unless he agrees and It is not just for my protection but my children's. He is not going to do that to them. I will also explain withdrawal symptoms to him and NOT paint a pretty picture about how much work is in recovery. This is not a game to me. I will not take him back at this point for anything less because i have already lost my H to adultery so there's no reason to lower my standard at this point. If he shows up and agrees I am going to make him call her in front of me and tell her its over and make him write me the letter too. Of course this is all hearsay but just know you guys I am ready and I'm gonna protect my kids and myself from false recovery as best I can.

I really doubt he will show up Christmas day, but if he does I will be prepared since I really feel he is not broken yet as DD17 told me what they were arguing about this morning via text. She was defending me and he was blaming me.

Anyways nutting new, getting ready for Christmas party.

Nothing else new...

Awe Lil Turtle your prouda me?!?! I gots Turtle Kuddos!

Yes fresh pain very true and daily fresh pain. Well I wasn't really posting because truly I didn't feel equipped enough or anywhere near all you guys who have posted to me, but Lildoggie said that I knew enough of the principals to go ahead so I figured I would try and help someone else because I know that I could not have made it this far without you guys and I remember every time you guys posted to me I was strengthened and I felt hope for the moment. So If I can help someone who is hanging on a string the way I was then I would try.

I'm still gonna come find you turtle when I am cleaning up after da partay.....Muah

Hi T2L, that was significant that h wants to show up at house in a box. You can always set it on fire. LOL. But at least he is thinking and all I can picture is you running outside with reams of conditions saying "sign here sign her".
I will have limited access to my computer when I go back to visit (My Mom has only 13 channels on her tv) so I have to grab a PC when I can. Will miss these boards!

Awe hope no computer access, bummer! Well keep in touch and enjoy your family, also let me know if you want me to call you on the way to the airport to act like I'm showing you some properties to rent back home cuz I'll totally put on my actors hat again...LOL

T2L

One thing to consider:

Until this man demonstrates a willingness to RESPECT you enough to honor your request to work through your intermediaries, YOU MUST NOT back down and let him in.

He will thumb his nose at extraordinary precautions as lip service he pays.

Read Sexymamabear's thread from 18 months ago and how TST came around to taking extraordinary precautions.

That's the only way you ought to take him back.

Polygraph.

Postnup - legally binding.

Etc.!

You deserve absolutely NOTHING LESS than what SMB got out of TST!!!!!

That goes for the rest of you Plan B-ers and Plan B-er WannaB's!

Well as of now I think he's reading the information emailed to him from the IM's, not sure cuz they don't tell me nuttin but he does not respond to them. When he tries to ask DD17 about money issues or visits she has been saying IDK dad read the email and he responds okay, but that's all i know cuz my IM's keep me very shielded. But nothing I've sent through them really requires a response. Just basic I need this much money and kids are free these days.

Truly I do not believe he will show up Christmas day, I think it was just some stupid stuff coming out of his mouth to the kids, really I do.

But if he does can I hand him the conditions page at the front door and wait to see what he says? And if he agrees can I make him call her and end it right that moment at the front door? I do know the cell phone # to the Sea Hag and can dial myself. Can he verbally say it to her via the phone and write a letter and give it to me. IDK.

I will go find SMB's thread and see what you are talking about. I have read some of it but not all the way through.

I do know I deserve the best, and I know its a new game now because pre-A I backed down to much as this was my worst fear imaginable so as I see it I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. NO more tippy toeing and NO more looking at T2L as a weak idiot. I'm not gonna do it. If he ever comes back he's gonna respect me.

A few weeks ago when I sold the motorcycles and he was here with the kids in the front yard he told DD17 lets back up because your mom is opening the garage and I don't want her to have to see me. As little as this sounds, that's the tiniest little spark of respecting me. I know that sounds dumb but he could have tried to get in my face and come around to where I could see him.

I'd be wary of him coming *on Christmas Day* or *on New Year's Eve* because I'd be suspicious of the timing. What I'm trying to say is, I'd be skeptical and think that his motivation might not be true remorse and a desire to do the hard work to build a real marriage, but rather sentimentality and nostalgia brought on by the holidays. Likewise for Valentine's etc.

I think if I were in your shoes and he showed up in a box on the doorstep I'd thank him for his gesture and send him off to write a NC letter (but NOT mail it - you want to review it first!!) and let you know (through the IMs) when it's done and he's ready to meet you at a coffee shop or something to review it.

I'd keep him at a bit of a distance at first, just to make sure he's serious and not feeling sorry for himself or thinking you'll be an easy target during the holidays.

But this is just a hunch I've got - wait and see what others say.

Totally agree. Do NOT let him get a good vibe off of showing at your doorstep. Don't let him get the grins from the kids, a smile from you, nuttin'.

He doesn't deserve it if he hasn't already prepared everything you asked for.

Best possible way to feel the effects of what he's done - be sent away on Christmas day when he's only a few steps from the door.