Well I guess first off my name isnt marryK , Didnt want to tip my hand to WW, Im at the end of my rope. Iv talked to The Hartlys and didnt really learn anything that I didnt know from the thousands of hours on this site and the stack of books Iv read (including surviving the affair)not to mention the endless hours of seeing a shrink. I really think the best thing to do at this piont would be for ww to get some advise from a former WW, not beaten up just someone to talk to who has been there. So Im looking to recruit a Former WW who is been there and done that who is a good listener , has some smarts and over 40. I know im asking a lot but I think at this piont it could really help her . Is anyone(former WW) willing to develope an Email relationship with her , I would be willing to buy you a new corvet (as soon as I win the lottery) If you think you can help I will give you all the details as best I know Thanks Bob, (not my real name )

Have her post.

But don't expect a WW to NOT get any 2 x 4s.

dont expect a ww to post

Many WWs have posted here.

Before they got help, they got 2 x 4'd. Why? Because they cheated on their husbands. It's not being beaten up, it's called facing the consequences of your actions.

There are many things I COULD say, but I will leave this argument to the vets.

I fit the bill. I'd be willing to give it a try.

I don't sugar coat things though.

That is really nice of you, Jen

I would like to think I could help. Y'know it's a funny thing. Right now I'm reading the New Zealand based Yahoo message board. I haven't posted there - I feel uncomfortable with my own countrymen/women - too close to home - which sounds silly but being one step removed from America makes it easier to post. I didn't realise it made a difference until I started reading things from people from my own country. I immediately make assumptions based on where people are from and how they "speak".

Someone (a woman) just posted about their A. I couldn't resist - I've been replying to her and it's quite something. I'm sort of getting through - not quite but almost.

I am a former WW as well as a former BS....I am over 40, and STILL married to my precious husband for almost 20 years!!! I would be glad to exchange private messages with your wife here on the board. Just let me know what I can do to help. When I was going through my life changing experiences I prayed that if the Lord would let me live to tell about it...I would try to help others if I could. Just to let you know, I was a betrayed spouse before I was a wayward spouse. I know that sounds unbelievable but it happened that way.

I tryed to send you a private message and got a user over private message limt. I could post an email address but I dont know if thats allowed , what do you think? thanks Bob

PMs are disabled on MB for very good reasons. I'd rather not email you directly, I would rather have your WWs email address. How will she feel about getting emails from strangers?

Any suggestions on how to get ww email adress to fwws, willing to help. Thanks all

I have great empathy for the wayward spouse’s plight. I was betrayed by my wife in our 23rd year of marriage and I was witness to see the damage that it caused her. Sure I suffered as does most every betrayed spouse but in the end it was her who paid the greater price. The road of the wayward is much lonelier than most would imagine especially if he or she has regret for their thoughtless acts. There is no really clear road home for them, the more they love you the more they suffer in trying to gain back what they have squandered. We saved our marriage. Not everyone does. My wife could not read nor participate on this site. The looking glass can be a painful experience. Believe me when I tell you that she sees her reflection every day and I think that after four years she is beginning to again like what she sees. It should not have taken her this long. I need her to respect herself, to like herself. Her mistakes cost both of us more then we could ever have imagined. She is MORE than just sorry.

I don’t know if your wife fits the bill or if her travels are similar to my wife’s, many sadly are not. But they are not as rare as some might make you believe. In these forums the betrayed feel justified in dealing out a good lashing. Their pain is raw and new. There are only a few that still post who have lived through four years of recovery and I think there are even fewer waywards that still post after so many years.

The betrayed spouses in these forums are hurt and they hurt daily. Many hate your wife without ever speaking a single word to her. They barely understand the pain they feel themselves and when a wayward shows up in these forums without becoming immediately subservient then the 2X4’s fly with reckless abandon from every angle. They do it for many reasons but not all their reasons are benevolent. After all, you are addressing people in real life situations.

I hope for your sake that your wife and you gain an understanding of what has really happened with her act of infidelity. It may have been her who carried out the deed but you both will pay and if she stays with you then she will pay more dearly in the end. That is just the way it is.

We saved our marriage not by chance or through a verbal tongue lashing. We saved our marriage because I had the right mentors in these forums and because she steadfastly refused to let me throw away our marriage. She never needed anyone here to tell her what an abomination she was. There was no magic recipe but there was determination on both our parts. Fortunately we never became weak at the same time, thus our marriage and our love endures. Thirty one years of marriage this May.

Mr. G

Perhaps Im not making myself clear . Im hoping to find a fwws to email my ww instead of posting on here . She wont post on here because at this piont in the A she wouldnt endure the 2x4s from really angry BS . I totaly understand the BS positions.I AM ONE . I think she would listen to fwws more than anyone else. If any Fww would be willing to help her through this It would mean the world to me . Im not putting her email address on this public forum . Im hoping a fww would be willing to get a yahoo acount , recieve her adress, get some details, and then they could close the account . I could give all the info needed in 1 short paragraph. I really need someone to throw me a line

:crosseyedcrazy:

What about hearing from recovered BS?

A FWW would identify with her presant state of mind better than a recovered BS ,IMHO

good luck

I fit the bill.

Email me at lexi-mb@hotmail.com

Mr. G;
Thank you, thank you very much for this post!
Is good to know that there are people outhere that think and feel the way you do....once again thank you very much!!
A.