Are you for real? She was having a hard time because her husband was out cheating on her. Since he told you about the dating site, I would bet he set up a fake profile to back up his story and that is why he told you about it.

I am not quite understanding why you are messing with this guy. First off, he is married and secondly, you have already caught him lying and cheating. He is a married man who is not available.

He FAILED the job interview, so what are you doing? He is not marriage material. When you select someone for marriage, are lying and cheating and being married on your list of valued traits?

I don't understand why you are wasting time with this obviously unsuitable man.

Yes I did believe him because it appears a lot of couples are doing this sort of thing nowadays. I also am quite a bit younger than him and have never been married and never dated a married/separated guy before.

I assumed because he told me they were both dating/seeking to date that I would eventually meet her, but then he told me how it was hard for her to see him with me because she wasn't having nearly the same luck dating as he was... and yes I believed this was a true reason also.

Was I niave?? Maybe. Although as I mentioned I have heard of and know couples who do this kind of thing but do it HONESTLY.

No that's not what I said. I said she was having a hard time seeing him with me because she wasn't having much luck dating.

Her profile is still up and active and has been logged onto regularly since their divorce was finalized.

You know, we live in a country where women are FREE to choose their marriage partners and I don't understand why you would squander that freedom on such a bad choice. Wouldn't you want to use that freedom to select an APROPRIATE HUSBAND who has character and morals, who is likely to make a good husband and father to your children?

Do you believe that a married man who fools around, lies and cheats is good husband material? Whyever in the world would you be interested in pursuing a relationship with a man WHO WILL LIE AND CHEAT? Do you LIKE to be lied to? Do you like to be cheated on?

Do you have no discrimination AT ALL in who you choose? Will you just accept anyone who comes off the street?

We are no longer together. My post is about wanting to contact his now ex-wife to find out if they ever really had an agreement to date while I was seeing him and possibly let her know why things really ended between he and I seeing as he has lied to everyone about it.

Honey, there is no such thing as cheating honestly.

Admit that, at best, you were naive and move on. If what you were actually doing was rationalizing, admit that too, and vow to be more proactive in vetting future bf's, and more honest with yourself.

There is no need to cause his wife any more pain than she's already been through--your reasons for wanting to contact her are for YOUR benefit, not hers. Doesn't sound justifiable to me.

Neb,

1. This guy was MARRIED (someone cannot be "a little" or "partially" married any more than you can be "a little pregnant". They are either MARRIED or NOT).
2. You KNEW he was married
3. He was cheating on his W to be with you
4. You were allowing it and participating by cheating WITH him
5. "He lied" ... geez, there is a surprise! CHEATERS LIE--go figure!
6. You are mad now that you realize he was lying...gee, you were not upset about him lying to/about his wife when he was giving you attention and "saying all the right things", were you?
7. You now want to get back at him for dumping on you by contacting his ex-wife. Why didn't you contact her when they were still married and you were dating her husband and ASK if was OK with her then? Why didn't you confirm with her that they really had this "mutual dating agreement" in force? You didn't because you didn't care about her, you only cared about YOU then!
8. Yes, he is a "major scumbag & narcissist". You knowingly particpated in an adulterous relationship with him--what does that make you?????

:twobyfour:
I find it a little disgusting that you are unapologetic for having an A with him and on his wife...instead you are feeling slighted and vengeful that he didn't choose you to be his "one-and-only" OW.

Take a look in the mirror and don't ever do something like this again!

He was separated and heading toward divorce when I met him.

I didn't know:

1) he was cheating on his wife (if he was - yet to be confirmed)

2) he is a scumbag in general

3) he would cheat on me

You've never met the man. He is extremely charismatic and everyone who knows him thinks the world of him (another reason I would like to out him). He is a true narcissist (I FOUND OUT AFTER HAVING DATED FOR ALMOST A YEAR).

I think only his son and his wife are the only ones who have seen thtough him and some of the poeple I've set the record straight about he and I now. While he was cheating on me his son even said to him one day "Dad. You seem sketchy lately."

#1 - you don't think she might be interseted, if it's not true, that he told me they were both dating when I met him and that I wouldn't have gotten involved with him had I known otherwise?

#2 - you don't think she would feel great retribution knowing he cheated on me??

TRANSLATION:
He was married when I met him.

Neb, I would tell her.

IT
IS
NONE
OF
YOUR
BUSINESS

As I mentioned earlier I HAVE HEARD OF MARRIED COUPLES WHO AGREE TO DATE OTHERS BUT JUST STAY TOEGTHER FOR FINANCIAL REASONS OR BCAUSE OF THE KIDS!!!!!!

If I truly were a scumbag do you think I would have asked him on the first date: "Is your wife dating too?" ?????

Why do you suggest that? Sorry... I'm a little leery of suggestions now that just about everyone has attacked me.

LMAO!!!!! I would think that anytime you have to talk about a guys wife you should not be on a date with him.

Everyone is giving you a hard time because you are not accepting your part in this.

Let's just say for a minute his wife was also dating when I met him... and that they really did have an agreement and they were just holding off the divorce until the son went off to college.

So they are living apart and are both are dating.

Would that still make me a scumbag???

Sorry, sweetie, THIS AND THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS BIG BUNCH OF LAME EXCUSES ON YOUR PART. That pig won't fly, honey.

1. HE WAS MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!! PERIOD AND END OF STORY! All the other qualifiers ("separated and heading for divorce") are irrelevant even if they were true.

2. What do you mean "you didn't know he was cheating on his wife"? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He had a wife and you were his OW. YOU WERE BOTH KNOWINGLY CHEATING ON HIS WIFE! I repeat, did you call his wife at the time and ask her if that was ok with her???

3. If he is willing to cheat on his wife, he will cheat on you...why are you surprised by this???

4. He is "charismatic"...great. Most players are. Date men whose personality you enjoy and who ARE NOT MARRIED.

5. Don't ever make excuses about dating a married man again. NO MATTER WHAT, just don't do it.

Well I didn't call you a scumbag. I'm not really into name calling. But I am thinking a person would have to be either really naive/immature or not very bright to believe this nonsense.