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#2174436 12/15/08 01:41 PM
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My 12 year-old son yesterday when i walked into his room to tell him to go and take a shower jumped up wrapped himself in a blanket and ran to the bathroom. Then this morning when i went to get him up for school he wasnt wearing anything and he covered himself up and ran to the bathroom to get dressed, when he got up i found a pair of his sisters best friend's panties in his bed. What do i do? I am at a loss and don't know what to do or say, but i think i need to talk to him. Please Help and tell me something????

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well, you do what you said...you talk to him.

Do not make a huge deal out of it....

How did you know whose underwear they were? I would simply explain to him that while certain feelings are normal that it is not okay to take the property of another person and use it in that fashion.

Since your son is now 12 years old, perhaps it is time you start KNOCKING on his door before you waltz into his bedroom.

medc #2174453 12/15/08 01:57 PM
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I asked my wife whos they were, she told me that they were my 13 year-old-daughters friends.

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Have you had 'the talk' yet? If not, you're about 4 years too late. Kids are having sex in 5th and 6th grade now.

You sit him down, discuss it all honestly and WITHOUT any judgment. Tell him you understand those years are full of experimentation, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. But also tell him you want him to be comfortable coming to you any hour of the day with questions. If possible, expose him to the potential things he may come across at home, where you're there to walk him through it all and offer your perspective. Kids will absorb their parents' beliefs about such things; but if you don't give him yours, he'll pick up on whatever kid he learns about it from.

Demystify things like this, and magazines, etc. The less 'special' you make these things out to be, the less he'll be drawn to it all. Most such things, they're dying to learn about; but if you walk through it with them, it makes just 'common' and he'll lose interest; however, if you forbid him any of it, you can bet it will be part of his everyday goals.

medc #2175033 12/16/08 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by medc
Since your son is now 12 years old, perhaps it is time you start KNOCKING on his door before you waltz into his bedroom.

Agree wholeheartedly.

At his age, your son needs the "talk" and he needs some bodily privacy as well. The "talk" needs to be brought out on a regular basis; it's not a one shot deal. It evolves as the child matures.

It's a heck of a lot better if you can have the talk before an embarrassment occurs. He's 12. Masturbation is going to happen. But you might discuss how he would feel if someone used an article of his clothing in a similar manner.


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