I also get a lot of police officers. And people that are "going to school" except that their profile says that they are employed... I stopped my online dating a few months ago. I did not have much luck, but I was in a different place, not looking for M, and a lot of men seemed to want an instant R.
I was seeing someone for a few months, we did not have a lot of time to see each other, but we did when we could. It suddenly occurred to me that I REALLY, REALLY liked him, and I thought the feeling was mutual. I saw him earlier in the week, and we were talking, and he told me that he feels that sometimes I am "emotionally unavailable". Which I found kind of shocking, I asked him why, and he said that I had said it myself... Background. I had asked him if he thought I was, he said no... and all of a sudden, I was. So I put myself out there, and told him that I really liked him a lot, he told me that he liked me too. I told him all the things I liked about him, he said he liked me like that too. AS A FRIEND. I was like .... WHOA! He is all affectionate with me, we were intimate, and now... I am just a FRIEND. My heart just dropped. I said, "a friend, huh? That's it?" and he quickly said, "A really close friend." I looked at him, and said, "A friend?"
He then went on to say that we are in two different places in our lives, he is not ready to have a ready made family, on and on.... I stood there, my sails deflated.
So, I told him that I had to leave, and that he would not be hearing from me anymore. I wanted to burst into tears. But, I held it in. He thought I was kidding. I told him no, I wasn't, I liked him a lot more than a friend, and that since it was not mutual, it would not be fair to me to stay or talk with him anymore.
He tried to talk me out of it saying that he would be in touch, I told him no, it would be mean to me. It would just get my hopes up, and I did not want that. He told me that he really liked me, liked talking to me, liked being with me, we could just be friends, really good friends. (he was not talking friends with "benefits"). I told him that I had enough friends in my life, and I really did not have anymore room for just friends. He looked sad, told me he understood. He got up, hugged me, I hugged him, and told him he was a great guy, he told me I was a great woman, we kissed. Then he told me that if I ever, EVER needed anything that I could call him... if my car broke down, if I needed to talk, anything. I told him thanks, through teary eyes, but I would not call him. And I left.
I cried the entire way home (25 mins) called one of my friends, cried more... cried and cried.
I really liked him, and I really trusted him. Completely. And I do not just trust people like that. So I am sad. I know it is for the best, to end it now, rather than later. And it makes me sad that it was not mutual, I really thought it was.
But, my life is filled with family and friends who love and care about me. Even people that do not know me well... the day after it happened, I had to shovel, and I was sad, went outside, and my neighbor came over with his snow blower, and took care of my driveway, he told me to go inside. Which warmed my heart. The next day, I got a phone call or text from all my friends and family, asking how I was.
I am loved, and I am grateful.
I had recently stopped talking to other guys that I was seeing, casually, and now my one main guy is gone. I told my brother that, and he said, "well, you are just doing your end of year clean-up. Nothing wrong with that." LOL!
It was an interesting way to look at it.
