I am just wondering how BS's out there make it through the evening without drinking?

90% of the people i know are married (most of those with little kids now). the other 10% are single and they party. most all nights i just stay home, especially during the week. I can't sleep at night, sleeping aids dont seem to help on their own.

I dont want to drink. i gained about 10 lbs in the last 6 weeks, mostly from drinking.

i am a shy person, i am not going to join some random club or do blah blah to fill my time.

I usually drink about 4-5 nights a week, usually light beer.
I want to stop, but it really does help ease the pain and help me go to sleep.

I am going to start hitting the gym now, and be more consistent with going for walks with the dogs and the iphone playing.

if i could just fall asleep at 8pm i would, but i just cant. its almost midnight now and sleep is hours away.

I want to lose 15lbs. beer is my biggest issue.

everyone must be getting through it ok, cause nobody is replying (even viewing) this time of night LOL

Hi 88,

I had a problem with vodka, just a drink or two a day for about 5 months or so--just to take the edge off when WS was la-di-da in his A and I hadn't exposed yet and then after exposure for a little while, until I wasted food due to drinking, LOL! I also knew I needed to quit because I was counting the hours until I could have a drink after 12pm.

Just be careful. No WS is worth having yourself turn into an alcoholic.

Try some chammomile tea at night before you go to bed.

Charlotte

LOL!

Not quite! It's my last view for the night, though, after a ton of homework. Now I'm going to go sleep for a couple of hours before I have to meet my attorney and go to court to support OWH.

Take care,

Charlotte

I hear you. I gotta get up in a in 5 hours and go into work to lay off 2/3 of the people that still report to me. I had to lay off 1 person the day before D day, now round 2 hits right when i am ready to throw in the towel.

I have been drinking alone at home since Halloween. The nights i drink it is more then 1-2.

I went a different direction. I found creative uses for the extra free time. As an example, I have a 1:7 scale model of the eiffel tower made from elbow macaroni in my back yard. I also ran a lot. Endorphins are good.

88, I am concerned about your post. Please consider what Charlotte said: "No WS is worth having yourself turn into an alcoholic".

This is what I would suggest to you:
Get a goal and make a plan to reach it. Put that plan into a daily schedule and go for it. It will keep you from drinking and you will be happy to get closer to your goal.

You are in a good age to start working out: not too late but definitely not too early either. Create a daily exercise plan. The gym, walking, running, biking, whatever you like best. You will see and feel results within weeks. It will also give you endorphins and do wonders for your sleep.

Is there any skill you would like to learn? Any field you want to learn more about? Find a way to do that. Get books or find a way to practice your skills. It can be valuable for you both professionally and on a personal level.

You write that you are shy but I would still encourage you to become more social. Get some new ideas and realize that there are more people in the world than the 10% party crowd.

I don't think that you are addicted to alcohol (yet) so I will give you a naive advice for how to not drink: Don't keep alcohol at home. I like chocolate (I am a woman!) and if I stay at home with no special plan it is so easy to stroll to the chocolate box and eat 1, 2 or 10 pieces. I try to not keep any at home and I am usually too busy to go out and buy some. Problem solved!

88, switching from alcohol to hot tea helped me sleep. If I don't have a drink, I can lay there for hours with my head zooming, but either a glass of wine, a mixed drink, or a steamy cup of herbal tea does the trick, especially when combined with clean sheets and a good book.

Are you taking any anti-depressants? These may help you, too. And I'm glad you recognize that drinking has become a bit of a problem. When I feel like I've gone through a heavy-drinking phase, I just keep it out of the house. It's a lot easier to leave the stuff on the shelf at the store, than it is to leave it on the shelf in your fridge. Good luck.

Don't buy beer.

That's what I do when I'm trying to avoid anything that's getting out of control in my life, though with me it's usually chocolate or potato chips. If it's not in the house it's MUCH easier to avoid. It's too easy to grab something out of the kitchen but more of a pain to put on a coat and grab the car keys to go to the store.

Exercise is really good. It will burn up some of that angry energy and you'll sleep better. Find something you really enjoy - swimming laps, running, lifting weights, aerobics, splitting firewood... heck, get a second job on a loading dock.

You mean some do? Marijana perhaps? Okay, all kidding aside, I always found evenings to be the worst. I spent a lot of this time doing housework. The physical kind is best, but any good project will do. The best kind are those that once you start, you have to follow through and finish - painting or cleaning out a junk closet for example. It fills the time, plus the activity helps tire you out. Then develop a nighttime routine - either tea or milk, reading or tv and then bed. I took sleeping pills for a while in the beginning but once my routine was better established, I stopped that as well.

I still drink more frequently than pre-d-day, but I believe it is more because I socialize more rather than because I have nothing to do but worry in the evenings.

some great advice here. Are you still in shock that you cannot think with a sane mind anymore ? If not,

GET OUT THERE !

Take up new hobbies man. Do something you have always wanted to do. Skate, box, climb, run, exercise and come back home tired in the evening. You not only feel good but may even want to skip on that drink and go straight for a healthy snack. And you will sleep good and wake up with a clear mind in the morning.

It took a good few weeks for me to start doing it but once I did i am loving it. Set yourself goals as someone suggested. 2 months from now, 3 months from now, 6 months from now what you want to achieve. Be aggressive. You will be surprised what you can do.

Thanks everyone. All good advice.

No i am not taking any anti depressants. I had some depression issues in college (after a GF breakup where she cheated and dumped me. i was 19). Anyways i was on Prozac and I hated it. I had no feelings at all. Nothing mattered to me. I was flaking on school and getting F's and i was just happy go lucky. that makes no sense. That is not for me, so I stopped taking them.

Okay I'm one of those health freaks so I always look for the natural route.

I have an addictive personality so I have purposely avoided all alcohol, drugs etc. Yeah it sucks and yeah its probably harder but oh well LOL

Here are some things you could try.

Going to the gym is great, be sure to do it early enough in the day. You don't want to do this late and near bed time because it actually gives you energy.

Some vitamins to try: 5-HTP is like the tryptophan in turkey that makes you sleepy.

There is melatonin that works too but be sure to take the right amount or it can have you sleepy.

The amino acid L-theanine helps in anxiety to bring calm and focus when your mind goes nuts. Sometimes the wandering mind is what keeps you awake. I heard someone once say to focus on 1 thing and it can help you fall asleep. I know when my mind is thinking in a million different ways I can't sleep.

There is also the Homeopathy herbs too which you can take a look at. Go to your health store they can help you. If one doesn't work try something else.

And yeah don't buy the alcohol. I don't keep chips, ice cream, cereal, or bread in my house. Ya know why cuz I'll eat it. LOL

If I really want it I have to make a trip to go get it.

Yeah my sister tried them after some traumatic things happened in her life she said it was horrible, that she could not feel anything and she stopped because she would rather feel pain than to feel nothing so I can understand that.

I made it through this without drinking one drop.

I made it through THIS without drinking because I faced every flippin demon put in my path and turned to G-d and asked him for help.

I made it through THIS without drinking because there were people on here who joyfully took me under their wings and believed in me until I could be believe in myself.

I made it throught THIS without drinking because the solution to not feeling the pain wasn't in the BOTTLE, but it was in walking through the pain, feeling every awful part and asking G-d to keep holding me and then one day... It didn't hurt so bad so I kept repeating that formula.

I am on the other side, almost at the end.... And I MADE IT WITHOUT DRINKING....... But doing the work to change myself, learn my lessons and carve out a new life for me and my children.