So NC has been established since 2 years ago....H does not "feel" like he wants to work on the marriage.
I want to do everything possible to help him heal.
I read that Pepperband's H used to asked her everyday if there was anything he could do for her and that seems to have helped her a bit.
Would you please give me your opinions....what else can we do us as FWW's to help our spouse ( H in my case) heal?
And I am not only referring to words but change behaviors as well.
Thank you in advance!!

Angie.

P.S. at this point in my life God is directing me to put on hold (if you will) my career...I am going to College, working full time and doing my internship in a shelter for battered women...I do not have time to do anything else....I want to obey him and will do it....anything that I can do for my M, my H and my kids!!!

Angie the holidays are quiet but lets see if we can get some work going on this.

I am a former cheater like yourself. I cheated on my H.

It doesn't matter why really because there are no excuses .. none .. however knowing some of the reasons why I choose to cheat also helped me build a plan to enable me to demonstrate to my H my commitment to HIM and the M again.

I left the workplace where it happened .. no if's no buts I was gone. Being in Gov it was a bit easier I could transfer to another Department ok. That meant my income could still help the family.
Did I give up a career .. you betcha ... and I don't regret it either.

I told my very angry H before I did it and then after ... even if all he did then was grunt sceptically.

Because my H is away so often I blog every day of my actions.. talked too, when how etc. ..especially to men and even here on MB... he has complete access to my life.

My email or facebook or myspace for family contact and photos I have fully open to my H .. he has the passwords and id's ... even here on MB.

I apologised repeatedly ... however you need to be careful here so you don't become "Mrs I'm so Sorry' .... better to do this a few times a week when it seems appropriate ... like when he glares at you or when he's visibly angry or cold towards you.

I let him vent and swear at me about me ... But I did not allow him to abuse me thats NOT acceptable ... its a fine line but an important one ...... but well if he called me a SL*T ... I agreed I had acted as one .. because I did. I really really tried not to cry at these times but to calmly admit YES I did those things and I was wrong.

so there are various ways to continue to show you are working on the M ...... counselling etc ... being able to show the how and why you cheated and what you are doing to ensure that it never happens again

have you thought of getting counselling from Dr Harley????

Aussiewife;

Thank you very much for your reply....would you mind check out my other thread...I started another one cuz I wasn't getting any responses with this one...
It's pretty much the same thing....I do not want to have 2 theads with the same thing....
I will reply to your post there...

Thank you.

Angie