My husband had an affair two years ago and we have been working on our marriage ever since. Even though we have made great strides, it still haunts me. He has a tremendous business and we travel constantly, have a awesome home and 4 terrific adult children.

I am so very confused as to what to do. On one hand, I don't want to throw away 40 years and on the other hand I can't stand to even look at him.

He once told me that I didn't support him in his business, but that the other woman was extremely supportive and helped him build his business! Hows that for a slap in the face! So, every time something about the business comes up, I clam up as I am extremely afraid as how to answer or advise.

Yes, I have alot to loose.....especially my children as they would be devasted. However, my heart is broken and I seriously doubt that it will ever be repaired. Yes, I am 100% better than I was a year ago, but I am not whole by any means.

Has anyone ever felt like this?

Thanks
Aviator

Here is an article from this website:

Why Women Leave Men

What does your 2 years of recovery look like? Have things changed from the pre-A marriage to protect it now?

Has your husband been remorseful and transparent during your recovery?

Do your adult children know of the affair?

Sorry to here about this Aviator! I have some questions. Has the affair stopped? Does he want to save the marriage? I am going through a situation that hurts me very bad too. My wife of 11 years been together for 16 is leaving me. I want to save the marriage she doesn't.(See hope it's not to late!) I would say if you want to save the marriage you need to really think about what caused him to have the affair(I know how that hurts). Then you need to figure out what you can do to make him not need the OW. You said you clam up when an issue comes up with the business. From the sounds of it you need to stop that and start really showing some interest in the business.That sounds like it is a big deal to him. I know it will take a long time for you to trust him again. Have you talked about this with him? What did he say?

Was/is the OW an employee?

Is there NC?

Is the WH being transparent so you can verify no more afairs?

He told you, you did not support him with his business, which in reality was an excuse that he grasped at to justify his PA. Which is baloney. Though he is now giving you the opportunity to participate now and you refuse to.

This is wrong. Cause if he truley felt that you never "helped" with the business you can do so now. By helping him you are using the business to be an activity to bring the both of you together.

And with your close envolment there will be no room for an OW to weasel her way in.

Some H's see that they ran the business and if the W ran the home as not being equal. They don't realize that by a W doing her job well it made it possible for him to do his job well.

The recovery phase takes two to five years.