I agree 100%.

Yes, child abuse is worse, I agree....! Murder is also.

Level 1: Having an affair
Level 2: Having an affair with a child
Level 3: Having an affair with someone who you mentor
Level 4: Having an affair with someone you take into your care
Level 5: Having an affair with person that you are a spiritual or Christian LEADER to.
Level 6: Abuse of a pet
Level 7: Child abuse
Level 8: Murder.

Just MHO but I personally would put numbers 2 and 3 as either just above murder or tied with murder. Possibly worse than murder if the murder didn't include torture.

ETA: Oops, my numbers were based on your original list. Your #2=child abuse and #3=child sexual abuse. And I'm an animal lover but IMHO abusing a pet isn't quite as bad as child sexual abuse. And having an affair with a chid IS abuse. There is no way a child can give consent.

Is it *always* a case of history rewritten? Couldn't it simply be true that he never was committed to the M from the start?

So true!!!

What makes me sick is that this man claims to be some kind of Christian or Spiritual Leader. Yet he is doing heinous things!

And the wife hides behind her religion to stay married to this heinous husband. Her kids know of the corruption and are suffering both from the father'a terrible actions and the mother's strong "lying to herself" denial.

yep

I agree.

I wonder, has this spiritual "leader" been exposed? I'm not thinking of what's best for the M, I'm thinking of protecting future "mentees".

Dear Ones,
If you read my original thread, you would perhaps have a better understanding. The "daughter" brought into our home was 29 - 32 years old during the time she lived with us. She was seeking Christian fathering to heal from her violent, alcoholic fathering after she became a Christian about 5-7 years ago. My husband believed he could offer that. He really couldn't, as being the age she was made her an adult who he was able to develop an emotional affair with . My husband spent all his time and energy "helping" her in the classic, if you read about affairs, case scenerio that leads to an affair. She, having needs met by him developed the wrong kind of love for him. They both fell into the behavior described by MB literature and many other writings. She was leaving our home and area to end what they both knew was an illegitimate relationship, but, and this is the mind-blower, the night before she left she offered herself to him physically, the very thing she was supposedly leaving to avoid. His passive self went right along because he wanted her and had for awhiile. She returned weekly to our area and continued to meet up with him until she broke it off in Jan. 2008. She was living elsewhere and going to a school of ministry, of all things. Although everything my husband did was immoral and totally wrong and self-serving, please don't think she was a child. She was 32 and he 57 at the time.

He has been removed from church leadership, is in individual and couples counseling,and meeting weekly with the pastor.

I am not covering this up. She tried to, but I have let people know as it becomes appropriate so they do not labor under a false impression of my husband, our marriage or the OW.

I am for full disclosure and restoration following the guidelines found in Restoring the Fallen by Earl Wilson (former fallen himself) with a spiritual care team. Not many churches can do this. Our church is going through a transition time with alot of very young Christians. Both our pastor and the church counselor feel it would not survive. Many people don't even know my husband or the OW. They do agree, however, that those who have been in relationship with them should know. Most people I have shared with: pastor's wives, intercessors, etc. are reeling and having to deal the heavy impact of this knowledge.

I am not covering up, blinded or enabling. I am working hard finding the proper help for all involved and holding my husband to the highest expectation of healing and committment to our marriage covenant.

Slow changes are coming. Last week was the first time he actually called his behavior "adultery". He is beginning to see how acting on his selfish desires hurt his family. He is praying with me and asking God to change his thinking, desires, etc.

He has never been a fast acting guy or open to much change. It will take a while for him to process this. He is ashamed and withdrawn from most of his Christian friends, just starting to respond to them.

His actions were sin, immoral, and self-serving, but they were not child abuse. If child abuse took place, it was like so many others who abandon their children to pursue their self-gratification with someone outside of their marriage.