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The drug addict is a girl she works with. She has stayed with her a few days. She is wanting to move and hour and a half away because she says that it is closer to work and that is where her friend wants to live. I know it is to be closer and more convenient to OM.
After a little snooping, she snuck out for sex with him yesterday morning. I guess I should tell his wife, even though she doesnt want me to. He bought an affair phone since his is being monitored.
Told D7 what was going on this morning. I probably should have told her before, but I did this morning. You need to get before a judge and get your kids back Rusty. And RIGHT NOW, you need to pick up the phone and call the OMW. NOW, RUSTY. Of course she doesn't want you to interfere with her affair, that is a given.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have the kids. Thats not really a worry.
When I said that about her not wanting me to contact OMW, I actually meant OMW thinking she has it all under control and not wanting me to contact her again. I will be contacting her in about an hour. That gives MIL a chance to confront WW when she gets up and gets ready to go to work.
WW used a lie of going shopping with a friend and we found out the truth by piecing stuff together. When WW gets up, MIL is going to ask her about something that happened at the mall while she was supposed to be there and then confront her about it. lol
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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OMW got mad and dont want me to contact her any more. Wow, hope that works out well for her. Everybody will have what they deserve in the end.
Disappointed because without her help, this can drag on for months. Oh well, I will just keep on plan Aing and then get ready tof B. Maybe get my letter written and all over the next few days/weeks. How long should I try to plan A for this? I read and it was suggested in another thread on here a few weeks after she gets her own place is a good time.
I dont want to go to plan B too soon because I am just now getting plan A's bugs worked out for me and dont want to wait too late for plan B.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Thanks for the clarification, Rusty! I didn't remember that you had your kids. I am grateful to hear that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OMW got mad and dont want me to contact her any more. Wow, hope that works out well for her. Everybody will have what they deserve in the end.
Disappointed because without her help, this can drag on for months. Oh well, I will just keep on plan Aing and then get ready tof B. Maybe get my letter written and all over the next few days/weeks. How long should I try to plan A for this? I read and it was suggested in another thread on here a few weeks after she gets her own place is a good time.
I dont want to go to plan B too soon because I am just now getting plan A's bugs worked out for me and dont want to wait too late for plan B. Rusty you have a great ally with Melody - use the advice given. Read up on some posts from Mark1952 http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2165656&fpart=1and Mortarman - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2176684&fpart=2I hope these posts give encouragement and strength - the key to a good Plan B is have a great Plan A for as long as your energy and emotions can take it - usually men can go up to 6 mos - you do not want to go Plan B after a bad Plan A or Plan FU. So when you feel like you cannot take the disrespect any longer then start getting Plan B together. Two reasons why you may have a good shot at a longer Plan A 1.) you have the kids so you are not the part time parent. 2.) WW is not at home - so you do not get the in the face adultery every waking minute.
Last edited by rwinger; 12/20/08 08:03 PM.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Thanks. I know I will pln A for between 3- 6 months. No less than 3 and no more than 6. I usually over prepare so I go on and start planning out B.
Since WW run so much of the same things, is there an average time a WW will wait for OM to leave his W? Especially if he isnt going to leave her. I was just wondering if there was an average for how long I might expect my WW to wait on him if there was a norm.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Since WW run so much of the same things, is there an average time a WW will wait for OM to leave his W? Especially if he isnt going to leave her. I was just wondering if there was an average for how long I might expect my WW to wait on him if there was a norm. Good question and not sure if I have the correct answer. Let me take a stab at it. There is no way of knowing of course but usually the infatuation stage can last 6 mos and the affair may last up to 2 yrs while in Plan B. Currently it is a fantasy but pressure will mount on the affair if the OM does not leave his wife, finances get tighter and the prospect of losing the kids. Keep the kids protected - priority one. Plan A is to make you, family and marriage the most attractive alternative. This does not mean you should not create or make as much conflict in the affair land as possible when possible. Just to add - sounds like this OM is not serious for your WW - he is the ultimate cake eater. Sometimes a WW will try to force the OM hand by starting divorce proceedings to show her commitment to him.
Last edited by rwinger; 12/20/08 08:27 PM.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Since WW run so much of the same things, is there an average time a WW will wait for OM to leave his W? Especially if he isnt going to leave her. I was just wondering if there was an average for how long I might expect my WW to wait on him if there was a norm. Good question and not sure if I have the correct answer. Let me take a stab at it. There is no way of knowing of course but usually the infatuation stage can last 6 mos and the affair may last up to 2 yrs while in Plan B. Currently it is a fantasy but pressure will mount on the affair if the OM does not leave his wife, finances get tighter and the prospect of losing the kids. Keep the kids protected - priority one. Plan A is to make you, family and marriage the most attractive alternative. This does not mean you should not create or make as much conflict in the affair land as possible when possible. Just to add - sounds like this OM is not serious for your WW - he is the ultimate cake eater. Sometimes a WW will try to force the OM hand by starting divorce proceedings to show her commitment to him. OM has cheated before a lot of times. He just keeps WW on the side for a roll in the hay. I know what he's doing...she knows too. She just dont care and thinks he will come to his senses. Heard her say that he tells her that she is the one he wants to be with. Have also heard her say he is a terrible guy, his wife should leave him. Then in almost the same breath say that if he would only leave his wife she could make him very happy. I know my shortcomings, I LB the crap out of my W and didnt meet her top 2 EN. Maybe she will one day come home and want to change too. Either way, I will be a lot better person and better off. Not really anything else I can do to pressure the A is there? I have completely exposed and OMW doesnt want to talking to her at all.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Rusty, is that lady at work going to confront your W and the OM?
Did you call the OMW and tell her they are still sleeping together?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You will have to think of ways to create havoc. Looks like MIL will cause a bit with WW.
Invite her to do family things as much as possible. Always look sharp, clean and use cologne when around the WW - those kind of things. Find ways to make the OM look needy, clingy and possessive.
Perhaps others will give some more examples. The only thing you can change is you so make the improvements and let her see them.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Rusty, is that lady at work going to confront your W and the OM? -IDK. I hope she does. She said to me that one of them coming forward is what really needs to happen instead of me, so IDK for sure.
Did you call the OMW and tell her they are still sleeping together? -Yes. She said not to contact her any more again...OM has her snowed pretty good I think.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Posts: 546
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She is really talking divorce tonight because of me catching her for yesterday. What do you guys say? Will it blow over?
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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She's just mad you caught her in her little affair fantasyland.
Folks around here like to say that a marriage can withstand a WS's anger over exposure, but not an affair.
The same could be said of your finding her out. Let it blow over--she'll calm down. Maybe not right away but she will.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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She is really talking divorce tonight because of me catching her for yesterday. What do you guys say? Will it blow over? so if you stop catching her she won't divorce you??  Here is the translation: click here 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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lol. She keeps "screaming" at me in the texts saying I blew it and we will never be together now, blah, blah, blah...I just send her funny replies back.
OM lied to her and told her that I followed her because I told OMW what she got him for a Christmas present(I did not. He just wanted to make her believe I followed her.)and I asked her what she got him and that she shouldnt spend too much, she needs the money. She wouldnt tell me what she got him. Then I told her baby Jesus cried for her giving her adulterer lover a present for his birthday. lol
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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lol. She keeps "screaming" at me in the texts saying I blew it and we will never be together now, blah, blah, blah... oh gee, I think we have heard that same line a time or TWO [ THOUSAND] around here!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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SHe just told me she would rather be married to a german shepard than me. This is getting pretty funny tonight.
At least I can relax and laugh knowing that she is just reading from the script.
It's actually really cool and reassuring knowing what is going through her head. I am close to finishing up my BS in psychology and this makes all of the reading very interesting.
Last edited by rustyshackelford; 12/21/08 12:22 AM.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Rusty, I'm not clear on whether you know the OMW actually is the one who contacted you to not bother her anymore. Wasn't there some probability that the OM intercepted the contact, and that it was HIM who said not to contact?
Did you hear the OMW speak the words?
Or am I misreading? Sometimes I get confused.
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All she would let me do is text message her. She met me the one time and she was pretty much the same way with me when I talked to her. I think he has her believing I am crazy or something. Maybe pictures one day or something mailed to her work.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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