<BR>Well, I had a topic listed "need help in seeing if H is cheating". Well, he confessed to having an affair to me tonight....He told me he has been seeing someone for a couple of months and I asked him if I know her and he said no (but I don't believe that). I asked him if he loves her and he said yes....So, of course I went to my bro's fiance who I think it is like I stated in my previous topic and she swears it is not her. She was sitting there trying to be a friend telling me to kick him out. I don't know what to do. I knew something was wrong when he just told me out the blue last week that it was over. I asked him if it is her and he tells me no. I best friend called him tonight and asked him the same thing and he told her"I am not going to answer that".....I told him that when he leaves, I do not want my son near this new girlfriend (slut) and wanted to know why. I just told him my son doesn't need to be subject to that right now. Then after a few minutes of me yelling I told him when I find out who the "slut" is she is going to regret it. It turned around and told me "oh, you'll find out when she comes to pick up my son"......Now, I called my bro's fiance after my H stormed out of the house again for the night and told her what I said and the first thing she said was "You shouldn't tell him not to bring your son around her she may be nice with kids of her own!!"...How convenient that my bro's fiance has 4 kids!!!!..Is it me or are they both playing me for a fool!!!!....To make things all that much worse, my grandmother passed away this morning, do you think maybe he could be here for me as some support!!!!!!!....He just sat here and told me he loves me, I am the mother of his son and maybe in time things can work out again, what after he has had his fun!..I don't think he loves her, I think he is in love with situation..What can I do?? He broke my heart and I still love him more than life!!!....Please help me, I am barely holding on anymore!!!!!....

Tucci,<P>I was also floored to find out about my H. He also played me for a fool as he cheated on me with our mutual friend. They both denied it. It made it much worse when I found out it was her after all. <P>Like, you I still loved him. It is hard to understand why but I think after 18 yrs, you just don't turn the love switch to off.<P>I read a book immediatly after I found out called After the Affair. It was comforting to me becasue it actually decribed a lot of the feelings I was experiencing. It also listed questions that we all ask ourselves and listed some helpful and interesting answers. It was so great to have that book. <P>Once your head has cleared a bit get Dr. Harly's book Surviving an Affair. It will give you some good ideas about working on your marriage if you decide that you want to. But for right now read After the Affair since it will help you understand the shock you are experiencing<P>Take care of yourself and keep us posted.<P>Acacia

Tucci,<P>Yes...<BR>Catch your breath...<P>You must be feeling very devastated...<P>When you've caught your breath... do some reading as acacia suggested...<BR>...and get going into a full fledged <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>.<P>We've been there...<BR>...we know the right (very narrow) path to take...<BR>...we sometimes will stray from it...<BR>...but there is the best way to handle it!<P>Prayers... <P>Jim