<BR>H and I have signed most of the contracts to sell house...We've solidified plans with moving company....We've made a house hunting trip to new town...We committed to a 7,000 dollar lease for 2 months executive temporary housing......Move date 2-12-00<P>But....Tonight I found out that H is still in contact with OW......He swore he was clean for the last 13mo. Tonight My husband's beeper went off. I picked it up. And he literally wrestled me for it. I calmly said "Whoa, dear surely you don't mind me looking for you have nothing to hide."<P>My 15year old son, who was a witness to this says "O.K. I 've had enough of Dads lie's"<BR>My son proceeded to tell me that 2 months ago He had stayed home from school (with my permission) And while he was eating breakfast...Daddy walks in the house with OW!!!!<BR>My dear sweet boy has been hiding this in his heart for 2mo. My son said "Mom did't you notice I couldn't eat thanksgiving dinner."<P>I then called OW's H (for the first time in 14mo.) He confirmed that for 2mo. they've been split. <P>My H knowing he was busted. Broke into a verbally abusive tyraid. I just looked at him and said softly that I really just tried my best to love him. HE THEN THREW ME IN THE POOL!! <P>Upon firm discovery two years ago, He had slugged me three times in the face and broke my nose. I had to have plastic surgery....<BR>I have a pretty face and was a proffesional Lancome makeup artist for ten years...so that was real hard on me.....Now I dress maniquins and work behind the scenes in the Dept. Store setting.<P>And two weeks ago he slugged me once in the nose,mouth area, leaving a small scar on my Face.<BR>Before this affair he was not physicaly abusive.............<BR>I'm scared and tired it's been 2 years. <P><P>------------------<BR>Lost her song (but trying to find it again)

I'm so so sad that this has turned out badly. Your H does not deserve you. I am involved with OW but I will never hit my W in defence. My heart goes out to you.

LHS,<P>After I posted to my topic. I wanted to see if you had posted yours. Of course, I found it. <BR>My suggestion isnt a very positive one right now. THe abuse is totally unnecessary. <BR>LHS, You are to good of a woman to go down a physical and mental abuse road. <BR>He making his mistakes, gives him no right. That is his way of trying to cope with the turmoil that he has his family in.<BR>Your poor son! He has held this in for 2 months. That is HORRIBLE! <BR>I really cant give you suggestions right now! <BR>My suggestions are get out!!!! You do not need the abuse. Let him get himself in his mess. Let him hang his nousse. You dont need to be on the recieving end of this anger.<P>LHS, You are a wonderful lady. Your are one hell of a lady. You do not need this. nor does your son need to see it. <BR>Keep your chin up! Try to think rationally.<P>Your in my prayers!!!!<BR>Renee

I am so sorry. And this abuse scares me to death. There is no good reason, no excuse, no justification for it. Neither you or your children should be subjected to it.<P>Please take care of yourself first. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LHS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

You are not safe. Please find a way out and go now, before he hurts you again. Without proper safety measures and therapy, he will. I sincerely hope you don't rely on him being the exception--the odds are against it. Do not bet your life and health on it.<P>{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

LHS,<BR>By do I know where you are coming from!! When I first suspected my H's affair I confronted him. The response I got from him was my head going thru the wall. Literally. Didn't really hurt, but pi**ed me off! <P>In a way I'm glad he's gone. I don't have to deal with his anger, she does. I realize that he can't be any good for me unless he gets some counseling. <P>Your H is very angry right now and he feels most comfortable taking that anger out on you. You need to be very careful. Emotionally he has done a lot of damage to you. You may not need him if he's not willing to get help.<P>Take care of you right now!<BR>Mitzi

The best advice for you and your son's life....GET OUT NOW! I don't care what it takes, if you have to move in with family, friends or a shelter...GET OUT! I have had to deal with abusive men growing up. My mother and sister both had abusive men. Me being alittle girl went through hell not understanding why someone would let them beat them over, and over and over and over again. Your son does not deserve to live like this. If you are making a choice to stay because you think it will stop, then get your son OUT OF THAT HOUSE! You are just teaching him that it is okay for a man to hit a woman because she loves him. THIS MAN IS SICK!! AND NOTHING...DO YOU HEAR....NOTHING YOU DO WILL MAKE HIM STOP! HE needs pschiatric help!

LHS,<P>I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It is so unfortunate that you & your son live under these conditions. As the others said, I think that you need to protect you & your son first. You have options...and one of them is to choose not to live this way.<P>Your H is dangerous. Who knows what he will do next, and you don't want to be there and find out.<P>Please do what is right. I'll be praying for you.

LHS,<P>Just read your post. Wow, no one deserves to be treated like that. I agree with the others. GET OUT. What ever you have to do to make leaving a reality -do it!!!!!<P>You can't help someone who won't help themselves. <P>If he has not given up OW by now than maybe he never will. This is not a reflection of you but of your H weakness. You have worked hard but for whatever reason, he is not as strong as you are. <P>Please take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to be safe.<P>Acacia

LHS,<P>I read this yesterday...I was so enraged I couldn't reply...<P><B>Protect</B> youself and your children...<P>There is <B>ZERO</B> justification for physical abuse...<P>Have you thought about calling the law???<P>I'm praying for you...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

GET OUT NOW!!!<P>EVEN IF THERE IS ANY CHANCE OF GETTING HIM BACK, EVEN IF HE ENDS ONCE AND FOREVER WITH THE OW THIS VERY MOMENT, HE NEEDS COUNSELING. IN THE MEANTIME GET OUT!!!<P>PLEASE!!!<P>ALEX<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn<BR>

Sorry, that I did't reply sooner. Thank you everyone for your love and advice. This all came as such a shock to me. You will be glad to know, I have let go of the hope that H, that I used to know will ever come to his senses. I have cut the cords of distuction. In doing that the shame has lifted and a surge of well being and self respect has flooded my being. I feel so strong. <P>I thank God for your support and the support of my local friends. I am safe and will be O.K. <P>I finally got the courage to do the right thing for myself and my children.<P><P>------------------<BR>Lost her song (but trying to find it again)

Gald to know you are feeling strong. Keep that feeling and go with it!<P>Acacia