Hi all,<P>My husband came looking for me today. It's been about three weeks since I've started Plan B. He talked about the affair having run it course. He likes her and enjoys being with her but there is no room for growth, etc. He said that the entire 9mths he has been gone he was waiting to miss me but didn't because we never stayed away from each other. This time I have had no contact with him and he said that now he does miss me, etc. After an hour and a half long conversation about wanting us back together he said that because I've started dating another man that within the next two weeks the relationship with escalate to a physical one, and that if he came back I would have an affair. He then said good-bye and walked out the door!<P>What am I supposed to make out of that mess? I told him that if he broke off the relationship with the ow and could get through the withdrawl period that we would talk. He said that in a month I wouldn't want him back. I am so confused. Does he really want to come back or does he just not want me to move on? Am I doing the right thing in not taking him back for the 4th time just on words alone?

Yes...<P>I am praying for T&K... <P>As far as you taking him back...<BR>...I think you are right in requiring proff that he has ended it with the OW...<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>... is hard... but <B>you</B> need it...<P>...if you think H is serious though...<BR>...and you think he can come back and will come back...<BR>...you might want to hold off advancing your <B>new</B> relationship... for some time anyway. How long?... that's up to your feelings for your H.<P>I'm praying... <P>Jim

NSR,<P>Thanks for responding. I've read a lot of the things that you've written to people and it is always sound advice. How did you get so wise? I wish I had a little of that wisdom myself right now. I took your words to heart. I've also talked to the man I'm seeing about the conversation with my husband so he bail if he wanted to.

L+L,<P>I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it seems that your husband is playing the old cat and mouse game. He dosen't want you until you want someone else. He is extremely jealous, and wants back in before you sleep with your new man.<P>We all play it to one extent or another.<P>Can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. In my mind (as twisted as it probably is) sex constitutes an unwritten commitment. I don't go that far if I am not sure I want this person in my life and want to have a future together. <P>I wouldn't see both men because it will only confuse you. The big question is, does your husband want you back because now he is finally realizing you could be gone for good, or is he just jealous?<P>Unfortunalty, I don't think you will know the answer to that question for a while. If he really makes an effort to change, work on the marriage and move forward, maybe you stay. But based on his track record, I just don't know.<P>On the other hand, if this other man is really that interestd in you, he will still be around in a few months.<P>I went throught this with my ex. She betrayed, and I tried to win her back. We went through 5 weeks of her not knowing what to do. We got back together for 3 weeks, and she deceided she wanted to stay with her new lover. CRUSHING!<P>This is a tough situation, however I can honestly say my ex did not do everything possible to save the realtionship, I am sure that will haunt her someday. <P>You need to decide when enough is enough, in order to have no regrets.