I only discovered my husband's infidelty a month ago but since that time we both have grown closer and more intimate than ever in our 25 year marriage. I didn't discover this website until just recently but surprisingly enough, on our own we took all the steps that Dr. Harley recommends for rebuilding a marriage. I would have never thought I could stay in a marriage once my partner cheated on me, but the truth is we are well on our way to having the BEST relationship either of us could have ever imagined. I can't say that I will ever forget the incredible pain in discovering my husband's affair but there's no doubt that it has jarred us into an awarenesss of how much we truly care and love one another. We now know that we have to stay alert to meet each other's needs, keep communication open, remain honest and spend time alone together. Spending time together is the reason I am writing today. We've already spent 3 wonderful days alone together in a romantic, private mountain cabin and now have plans for another 3 days together at a wonderful bed & breakfast. It's planned for the Valentine weekend and is extra special because we have decided to recommit ourselves to one another. We stopped wearing our wedding rings years ago (neither of us are cared much for wearing jewelry) but my husband really wants us to go back to wearing them. He brought them in to be re-sized and cleaned. They will be ready for our weekend together. I have my own words to say to him but I'm wondering if anyone knows of any poem that particularly fits a situation like this.<BR>

Blind,<BR>Glad to hear about the sucess story. I am also looking forward to Valentines weekend as we will be renewing our vows in Cancun. It will be interesting if you get any ideas from others here. I am glad your here. We wwere so lucky to find marriage builders the people here are great and we have learned so much. In fact the person that we have contacted to re marry us is a friend of someone that posts regularly here. He got us hooked up with him. I will be (lurking) waiting to see what kind of response you get. <BR>Greg

Cancun! How wonderful! Sounds like you're doing well with your relationship too. How long has it been for you? I realize that 1 month is a very short time but I wonder if time really will bring me to a more peaceful place. My husband does and says all the right things and when we are together, I feel great. However, when I'm alone I am overcome by a great sadness. I wonder if it will ever leave me. Any thoughts?

HI there,<BR>I had the emotional and somewhat physical affair with one of my closest married female friends. Disclosed this to H on Dec. 30th and we have been in recovery since and our marriage has gone thru enormous changes- all for the better. H has been incredibly supportive and forgiving- and has done a lot of work on himself in a very short time. I love to hear that we are not the only ones going thru this process in such a short time. I will say though that I am still in withdrawal mode and today felt an incredible urge to reach out to the other person- but instead went to bed! I keep talking to my H and he just reminds me that as time passes it will get easier- and then he gives me a wonderful kiss and hug. I am very lucky and so long as I keep that in the forefront of my mind we will be o.k.