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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7 |
My wife and I are starting to do better. She is trying not to contact OM but he keeps calling her. The other day he called my family trying to reach her. Today, my wife said that she had 15 calls on her cell phone from him but no message. How can she get the message to this guy that it is over. He is very persistent and doesn't seem to want to understand that we are repairing our marriage. Can anyone offer any help?
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189 |
Desparate,<P>How about you & your W sit down, and write a NO CONTACT letter.<P>This OM is going through major withdrawal and that's why he is acting so irrational.<P>You & your W need to stay strong and show a united front. For now, I think that the "No Contact" letter is the way to go.
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7 |
Thanks<P>My wife and I have discussed that. But, my wife believes (and I believer her because I have talked to the guy) that he might try to win her back by any means. For example, he has already called my family looking for her, he know our address, etc... My wife and I are going to change the cell phone number to dicourage him calling there. But how do we keep him from calling my wife at work or our families. I dont care if he "spills the beans" to our families. The important thing is my marriage. I am just a little worried he might do something "irrational." Any suggestions?
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036 |
If it's that bad, and she REALLY has done everything to SHOW him that she is not interested, then the only way to go is either with TIME or a RESTRAINING ORDER! Plain and simple. She can let him know that if he doesn't stop contact that she will pursue a restraining order, and then maybe that will scare him into not contacting her anymore. But make sure that he is the ONLY ONE pursuing contact, meaning that she is NOT leading him on.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
<B>desparate</B>,<P>trying2_4give is right!<P>There are a number of people at the forum that have gotten (out of need) restraining orders.<P>Don't threaten the OM with it...<BR>...just make it clear... in some "certified" correspondance that any further attempts to contact your W will result in an immediate filing for a restraining order.<P>As far as family members...<BR>...if they are supportive...<BR>...inform them of your plans for a restraining order and have them document <B>all</B> calls from the OM!!!<P>On your phone, you may consider buying an inexpensive tape recording device...<BR>Documentation is everything!<P>As far as the "no contact" letter...<BR>...you must convince your W that it must go to the OM ASAP!!!<P>Best Wishes...<P>Jim
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189 |
There are very good suggestions here. After discussing it with your W and making a decision on what to do, be sure to update us on what is going on.<P>I truly hope this OM finally lets go and doesn't 'cause more problems.
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 7 |
Thanks for all of your helpful solutions. I will update the forum when I get more information. Thanks again.
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 373
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 373 |
Go to where the OM works and talk to his boss. Tell his boss, "I would appreciate it if your subordinate (insert name here) would quit calling my wife on company time. I have the phone records if you want them. If this continues, I cannot assure the safety of the people in the office area."<BR>
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