I have a question about jealousy on the part of the betrayer. Although my wife is the betrayer, and she continues to have contact with the OM, she acts jealous of me in certain situations.<P>I have a lady cut my hair about every 3-4 weeks. This lady is one of the more attractive women working at this establishment, but can not hold a candle to my wife. My reasons for continuing to go to the same person are because my wife commented the first time I got my haircut by this woman that my hair looked GREAT. Another reason is that this lady now remembers how I like my hair to be cut and does it the same way each time. <P>About 3 weeks before "Discovery", my wife went to the place I get my hair cut with me. When she saw the woman who cuts my hair, she became furious, and got mean for the rest of the evening. Now, over a month into "Discovery" and using Plan A, I got my haircut just the other day. My wife told me that she would never again tell me that she liked my hair as long as "that floozy" cut it. This kind of blows me away, since she is still having contact with the OM, and she knows that I know about it, yet this is not supposed to make me jealous?<P>I am not going to bring this up to her as I think it would be a LB, but I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced their betraying spouse showing signs of jealousy?

Your wife seems to be reversing her anger. She knows that she is wrong for what she did and she wants to make sure that you will not do the same. She needs to feel that she will be the only woman in your life and she now feels that since she screwed up so bad that you will look at this other attractive woman and think "HMMM, she did it so why can't I"? She is most likely feeling insecure.

sounds like insecurity to me. Her self-esteem is probably low from knowing she has/is doing something wrong (and doesn't she have eating problems as well). She also may be testing you, to see if you still really love her after all this.<BR>I'd tell her that if she'd prefer, I'd be happy to switch...and I'd work on helping her feel good about herself again.<BR>Personally, I still have a bit of a problem with the fact that the betrayed seems to end up doing most of the work (at least at first), but I can't figure a better way...<BR>Kathi