I feel that I have been judged and found lacking. SamH is right, I am very bitter, who would want to be with me anyway?<P>I wish all of you the best at making your lives all that you wish them to be. A big Thank you to those that have given me feedback and encouragement. <P>I'm still trying, no matter what.

OH RC,<P>I believe the only one judging you is yourself. All I see is a W that has been hurt. We are a tight knit community that offers advice and support. Not labels or judgements.<P>Perhaps SamH is right and maybe you are bitter, maybe your'e not. Look what is happening in our lives. Emotions are raw. We get to experience the full gamit from love to hate and everything in between. They can change day to day or even minute to minute.<P>You won't find a better group of caring individuals anywhere else. I suggest you stay and hang with us. We will ALL get through this mess one way or another.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Tim<P>

I am with Tim; we all feel down every now and then but the support we have here is unique , in many ways better that what are available in some weekly meeting somewhere in town... you set your schedule... you decide what to say and how... you are understood or listened at the very last... and you are anonymous. <P>No judgement, and if there is any won't be from everybody. Probably SamH was just trying to shake you up a bit (we all need it sometimes).<P>Hang in, if you wish lurk for a while until you feel comfortable to post and/or reply again. But don't leave as yet. Not like this.<P>Wishing you the best and praying for you <P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn (but when?)<p>[This message has been edited by ThisAlex (edited February 08, 2000).]

Not judgements, just honesty. What else would you expect from your friends?<P>We have a lot to offer and we care about you. WE've all had to hear a lot of things that we didn't want to hear....helped us to grow and heal.<P>Good luck. We're still here if you need us.<P><BR>Lori

RC -- Lori's right. From time to time we all hear things here that we would rather not. The important thing is to listen to everyone, sift thru what is being said and see what applies and what doesn't. This is a great place. Please stick around.<P>--DeWayne--

Hey Rollercoaster,<P>don't go, please don't go.<P>What everyone said is true, we may say things that are not what you wanted to hear, but there is no judging tagged along with it.<P>I personally know what it is like to hear that which you don't want to hear, from members of MB.<P>I very nearly did something so silly a while ago, like get involved with a man that was married. And with me just having gone through, and still dealing with, infidelity. Where was my head ??<P>However, these people said what needed to be said. That I was an idiot........not in so many words of course!!!<BR>They said what I needed to hear, whether I accepted that at the time or not, it was what I NEEDED to hear.<P>I took their comments, their suggestions, and their gentle criticisms (one, not quite so gentle !!!) in the spirit in which they were meant.<P>The comments were made with genuine caring, and concern in mind, but not malice, or judgement. We all care about each other, and are here for each other. Even when it means saying what you know is not going to be wanted. That's what friends do. They tell you honestly. All of us are missing honesty in our lives from our spouses (even the betrayers), but we get that from each other.<P>It sure makes my day nicer, and easier. I hope it will make your day nicer and easier too, because you really won't leave here will you ???<P>Each and everyone of us has something valuable to contribute, and you are valued here.<P>Where would I be without NSR, lostva, WilliamJ, mitme101 (altho' she's MIA at the moment !!), NB, SDS, Medic, SHA, Ceecee (she's MIA too !!) DuncanMac, soulloss... and the list goes on and on.......<P>These people are wonderful, and we need each other.<P>You take care of you, whatever it is that you decide to do. I hope you stay.<P>Jo<P>

RCoaster,<P>Please don't go!! <BR>I don't know what SamH said, but don't leave over one neg. comment.<P>Everyone here is here to help and be helped!<P>I've been told things that I didn't want to hear but, I've never let it get me down. <P>If it wasn't for everyone here at MB I don't know where I would be.<P>I have an unconditional love for everyone on this site! Where else on the face of this earth will you find complete strangers dealing with their own problems so willing to reach out and help others in their time of need? You won't!<P>Think things through, please!<P>James<P>-----------<BR>"look beyond the upsidedown views of yesterday, and there will be no pain or hindrance in the future."<BR>-Bhodhittisva Kwan Yin<BR>Buddhist Goddess of Compassion<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by JW (edited February 08, 2000).]

I agree with Jersey Joe. I must have missed a post that you are referring too, but I was judged a bit harsh on my weekend too . And I am bitter too. We all are. Don't stay gone too long, I know I have been here less than a week, and I sign on here each day before I read my mail!! Be strong and be positive. I pretty much gave up on my marriage yesterday. No I am not on Plan B or anything, but I just am taking a break to re focus. I hope you don't stay gone too long!