Just checking in to say hi. If anybuddy needs me for something, just call. (I do mean with an actual phone. )

DS11 was attacked by a dog yesterday morning, so I was gone all day and won't have much time to sit at the computer, either. The doofus was trying to break up a fight between our dog and a neighbor dog, and it didn't work so well. He's better today, but may need to have a followup at the clinic. If not, then on Friday.

So I will be available, just not surfing the net.

:MerryChristmas:

Pep,

I am not exactly sure as she worked in the office of his employer. I think the emotional thing was stirring about last year at this time(December) then they had an all hands meeting I think In January where he told a co-worker "our eyes connected and we had a connection" LOL dude this is not a movie

Anyways, I think about 1 year so for into the EA and it went Physical in the last week of February.

But this is my fear, he said pre SAA that he felt bad for her she didn't need more problems and I kinda felt during Plan A that he was half out the door but didn't want to hurt her, I feel he's going to bear responsibility for her and not for us. He said in Plan A he didn't want to hurt anyone anymore and I said well the kids and I are hurting and he said I know but time has to take its place....jerk.

By the way I did a bad thing, i know I am going to get 2X4'd I just had to know!

So I looked at the cell phone bill that was available a few days ago online. I compared it to the one I printed out during Plan A, they have doubled there calls. In Plan A he didn't really talk to her all that much.

One day he called her 6 times in 2 minutes!

I know I shouldn't have looked cuz it only made me sad. I hate it! They are just being this happy family-funny tho the 2 times I said to him IDK and something about your NEW family he got pissed and blew up they are not my family you guys are. Yeah okay buddy it sure doesn't look that way.

Do you ever just ask God why did this happen to me!!!!

Anyways Happy Christmas Eve y'all! :MerryChristmas:

I found a good recipe, and hope your IM can send it to hubby -

A one dish meal with all the food groups. Easy to make and very inexpensive.
Ingredients
1-1/2 lb Ground turkey

2 c Water

2 packages Top Ramen (any flavor) w/ seasoning package

2 c Frozen Mixed Vegetables

1/4 tsp Ginger

2 tbl Green onion, chopped
Preparation
Brown meat in large 10" skillet; remove from pan and set aside. Add water and both packages ramen noodles, 1 seasoning packet from noodles, frozen vegetables, and ginger to skillet; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 3 minutes. Stir in second seasoning packet, browned meat, and green onions; cook 3 minutes more. Serve immediately.

Sad thing is it kinda sounds yummy!

Now B, you aren't trying to be nice my lil WS and send yummy recipes are you??? Don't you know we only send yucky recipes?

But this one is so versatile!!

One could have it everyday, and just change the turkey to tofu, chicken, pork, fish, beef. Imagine the variety!!

This could be true but it still seems way too generous besides I don't think that's what Sea Hags eat. Actually not sure what Sea Hags eat. I was thinking she could eat my dust!!!!


:MerryChristmas:

Musta been a fight. SOMEBODY kept hanging up and he had to keep calling her back!

Even if it wasn't a fight, consider how realistic calling someone 6 times in 2 minutes is. I mean, seriously, that cannot be maintained. And once it is done - she will expect it and when he can't keep it up (no pun intended), she will be hurt and/or angry.

Fox

WH74,
Yeah I was thinking it was kinda weird myself, so uncharacteristic of my H. He never called me that much, said I called him a lot-yeah ok maybe 1 time a day to say hello. Anyways it seem awfully paranoid or frantic to me. One can only hope....

So I am feeling just a bit down, wasn't sure if I could totally escape it. Trying to reel it in for the kids. Tonight, Christmas Eve I will do presents with DD17 and DS10 for the 1st time with out H. I am going to do all in my power to enjoy the time. For me it helps if I give myself a time to cry, its like it gives me strength for the moment and then I cry later. So I have given myself permission to cry after the kids go to bed.

Its the first time since I was 14 years old that I will not be spending it with my H. Its so hard to wrap my mind around the selfishness and then think he probably bought OW a really swell gift.{{{{Sigh}}}} I just can't understand. I know there were things that I could have done better, but overall I am a great wife and mom. I am in pretty good shape, I exercise and take care of myself, I always had make-up and perfume on every time he came home, when he came home the house was clean and dinner was ready, I am pretty attractive a catch for even him, I am intelligent, I love God, believe in doing whats right and just. WHY WHY WHY! I have seen a pic of this OW. She is fat, Un-godly, obviously not wise, obviously has no character, she is not in shape, by all his eating of top ramen and complaining about doing his own laundry she is not domestic and in beauty she can't hold a candle to me and I say that really with humility. We had a good family, he was the broken one. So what screw your life to be happy and end up miserable? For her? ICK ICK ICK!

I am trying to keep it in perspective as at least until anything is legal is filed I have my kids for all Holidays and for me its un-negotiable until we have to get attorneys involved. I want the kids to celebrate every holiday just the way they always do.

I am venting so I can release a little bit of frustration to be able to get through the evening.....I will make y'all proud I will smile so the kids will have a wonderful time....I can do this.

Lord Jesus humble my H as only you can, you humbled Apostle Paul, a hugely arrogant man, then surely there has to be hope that you can humble Mr.T2L. And give me grace to keep going...

Don't give up. You have to believe that it is harder for your hubby than it is for you. Have a good evening with your kids.

Trying2live

this neaks H i found this and thought of you'r H.
we will pray for you and your family.
i have somemore stuff to say to you
but i have to go and rescue my father in law right.
just remeber the lord loves you very much

Hello AJ,

Thanks for thinking of us and thank you for your prayers. Yes by all means I would love to hear anything from the AJ and Neak's family. Good luck rescuing your father in law, I'm sure he's glad he's in good hands!


:MerryChristmas:

Okie Dokie Lil B, no giving up for T2L.

Oh brother! So ya wanna hear? READ IT ALL If you can.

Well the kids and I opened gifts tonight and had a nice time. I cleaned up dinner and told the kids I was going to take a bath. So I turned on some worship music and popped into the tub and cried like a baby quietly for 1/2 hour and pulled myself out of the tub put on some jammies and washed my face and came out to check on the kids.

DD17 was on the phone arguing with H. I sat and listened a bit and when she hung up I said how did that all happen? I told them to expect their dad's call because i would be in the bath tub.

Then he said whenever I got mad your mom controlled me and wouldn't let me get mad to by myself.

Well she said that H texted her if they had opened the presents yet and she said yeah. He told her it would have been nice if you all could have gotten over yourself and let me come and DD17 says look you need to leave your girlfriend how hard is that to understand its real simple dad. DD17 says don't you get it you have a girlfriend and when you get rid of her then my mom will talk to you. Then he says well I am very bitter at your mom, she told our pastor, my family, our friends I mean I know she was embarrassed and it was embarrassing to myself as well to but I have bitterness towards her for this, and you guys are my concentration right now not your mom. Then he said I was never good enough you guys never accepted me and DD17 said what you sound nuts your nuts dad we were always so happy when you came home. Then he said your mom is annoying all my friends hate her and think she is annoying and I never got to go to the bars and bowling. DD17 said bars? But your married?

He then told her that his brother(who has been in full support of me) said he was sick of me and is sick of hearing about it. He then said to DD17 that It would be so much easier if she communicated with me and DD17 said just talk to the IM's and he said NO. Then he says well what she is going to go like this for 10 years and DD17 says heck no she's not going to wait 10 years. DD17 then said well then dad divorce my mom then, he responds well that is financial destruction and you guys will lose the house and DD17 says well my mom is willing to do that if she needs to.

DD17 then says I hate the Sea Hag and don't ever bring me around her or I will beat her down and go ballistic on her and he says I don't expect you to like her. He told DD17 that you mom not talking to me is making me hate her even more.

Then he says I hate Christians, every situation they go to the heart.

Then H says your mom controls me this is a game and I have my rights, its my house I should be able to visit you and live there I pay the bills and DD17 says nope mom did some research and I think if you have been gone for at least 5 months your not allowed to just come in.

SOOOO.... I heard only about 2-3 minutes of that live but the rest of it DD17 told me when I asked her what the heck happened. During that 2-3 minutes I almost grab the phone and cussed him out and went psycho but I held myself.
{{{{{{{{{{{SIGH}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

As I cried in my bath tub i cried and prayed for God to deliver my family i cried out to God and then this.

First of all he wants to go bowling??? He says bowling is gay and when the kids asked him to go bowling he says no. He says all his friends hate me but yet during Plan A he says he is a loner and has no friends.

Yes he did not have much free time and that was an area I needed to work on, I had a fear that if he did go to bars with friends he would cheat. I am embarrassed that I did not encourage and only discourage the hang out thing. I wonder if this caused my marriage to fail. But again what does a married man need to go to a bar for??

I always accepted him so I don't know what he was talking about, I did however try to get him to be more optimistic and it may have come as a DJ, but he was such a downer but I guess I could have entertained the idea that his negativity was justified.

Yes he would get mad and my intention was not to control but to calm down and diffuse the situation and maybe I should have just exited the garage or area and let him stew. I can see how he thought this was control, I never meant it to be, I just wanted to try and bring a positive spin to it, I am embarrassed of that too. So now you all know the areas of my dirt.

So another question any Lawyers in California? Do you know if a H leaves the home for 7 months can he just walk in because he pays the bills? Don't worry locks changed the day I booted him out May 8th!


I am trying guys and I fighting to stand in the gap for this man, I am praying in gut wrenching pain.

So, post away....

I'm not sure about the answer to your legal question.


The hangout thing is vastly overrated. Your best time should be spent with each other, and lots of it, too. Quantity and quality both.

Maybe once in a great while, one of you might want to go do something NOT BARS with a trusted same-sex friend, but this should be the exception and not the rule.

Do not be embarrassed for wanting what you are right to have: the very best recreational companionship your H had to offer, and to give him the same in return.

You're really beating yourself up over what happened in your marriage. Any BS needs to find out what went wrong and where they can improve, but you're stressing over little things he has probably made up or at least exaggerated.

The feeling while in an A is a poison, but it's like a drug. When Satan gives it to you, it numbs your way of thinking. Pretty soon you hate pretty much everybody; God, your spouse, and of course the OP is going to support you in all this. They don't really know how you were beforehand.

Since he was an Associate Pastor at one time, Satan's attack is going to be even harder, and so will the attacks on you.

I have some fuzzy memories of trying to make up reasons/excuses to be angry with Neak during that time. It was easier than taking my own responsibility for what was happening.

With his background, your WH knows that he is supposed to be the head of the household, and that if there were problems, he should have been active in talking about them and helping to fix them. From reading your posts, it sounds like you were making a really big effort to be a good wife, and he was not doing much for you as the minister of the house.

Hearing him say that he hates Christians, you obviously know that's not him talking, but Satan's drug that he's under. By choice yes, but it affects everything he says and does. It's my personal opinion that until he really gets down on his knees and gives his heart to the Lord, he's still going to keep sipping on Satan's little drug.

As I was reading your last post, Proverbs 18:7 came to mind. "A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul."

Nothing good can come from the mouth, or mind, or words of a person that's corrupt.

DD17 is a very amazing young lady, and loves you dearly to stand up to her father respectfully but firmly. That shows that she has Christ in her heart, because she wants to do what's right and good.

But my sister in Christ, keep this in mind, with me being a FWH. By me giving my heart fully to the Lord, Christ has changed my way of thinking toward my wife and my family, and my spiritual life. So it can be done, if your WH will do what he needs to do.

I'm going to stop babbling, lol because it's getting late. Please don't give up. Just keep praying and bringing your troubles to the cross, laying them down for Christ.

Good night, and I'll post some more later. Merry Christmas.

Since when has your WH been truthful lately? He said all those awful things to his daughter (disgusting!) HOPING that she would repeat them to get back at you. He is ANGRY that he is missing out on his cake. He's acting like a 2-yr. old. You know, if you guys actually recover, he won't remember acting like this.

I've told my DH some of the things he said while he was a wayward and he is appalled. He doesn't remember all of it.

Your WH is railing against the boundaries you have set.

Ticks me off that he tries to put your daughter in the middle though.

Just remember, God is in control. Don't try and figure out the whys, you'll just make yourself crazy. I know it hurts, especially at this time of year. God sees your tears.

I think it's actually interesting that he was spouting such things that are *obviously* not true, as if he was trying to convince himself... and that he said he hates Christians... at the same exact time that you (and others?) were praying.

I pray that God soften his heart, and call him back into the fold. In this celebration of Christ's birth, Who came to redeem and save us from our sins, may your husband be humbled and see his sin.

I have no such memory problems for AJ's attempts to blame me for stuff.

For any newer people who haven't dredged up the old threads, here is my favorite wayward quote from during the affair.

"Now I [expletive deleted] hate everyone in the world, and it's all because of YOU!!!"

Hard to believe that came out of the same person we all know and love now? Well, God is a God of miracles!

And I totally agree with him - your DD is incredible and deserves a standing ovation. I have a secret suspicion she's related to Pep and Melody both.

:MrEEk: