Merry Xmas, Erich..

The problem with both your plans is you'll have to execute them every day. You can't lock her out, it is her house too, she can come back with a locksmith or a cop and break in.

You have to get the law involved or you risk being the one on the wrong side of it, then you risk everything.

For now, the law should be on your side, you staying in the family residence, at least until she gets custody plans geared up. And we know she is a veteran at that stuff.

Speak to your lawyer.

God bless.

Erich, I vote for #1 for the reasons you gave. It is non confrontational and gives you a chance to keep your son in his home until you can contact your attorney on Monday AM. I would strongly advise getting with your atty first thing Monday AM and getting an emergency court order to prevent her from removing your son from his home. Do you have someone to watch your son during the day after she moves?

Like Mike said, she could get in the house if she called the police, but it is not likely she will do that. It is not against the law to change your own locks. Another thing you could do is go stay somewhere else with your son Sunday night and then call your lawyer in the morning and let her handle things.

But I would strongly suggest that you have a PLAN in place for your son, such as daycare, suggested visitation with your wife, etc.

Merry Christmas!


When we bought the house, she signed a waiver of marital rights because we didn't want her bad debt to be able to attach to the house as a lien.... I don't know if this would hold in a court of law, but she's not on title and waived her rights to the house.

Can she claim that this is her home when she has signed a one year lease at another apartment and moved all of her stuff out?

I highly doubt that she will give me a key to HER apartment.

I already have appointment set up for Monday morning at 10am to get everything filed.


Yes, it's all lined up. Brother and sister in law will watch my son during the day while I'm at work.

Good job, Erich. I think you should go with the least confrontational plan.

What are your plans for Christmas? What are hers?

This weekend I will be working on the visitation schedule that I will submit to attorney on Monday. Everything will be in order. The only thing that bothers me is that the attorney said that before the temp custody goes into effect, we have to get a hearing with the judge which is not immediate... So I'll have to wrestle with wife until such time..

My brother and sister in law would be happy to let my son and I stay the night.. I stayed a few days there when I first found out about my wife's A.

I bought some inexpensive Christmas gifts for the kids. They opened them last night before my step-daughter had to leave for her Dad's. She will spend the rest of the week with him.

We don't have any plans for Christmas. WW is doing laundry and finishing up the packing. If I hadn't have wrapped some gifts and put up a Christmas tree I had to borrow from a co-worker (cuz she packed ours), the kids wouldn't have even known it was Christmas!

My in-laws are having a Christmas dinner today at one of their houses, but we're not going. I thought about putting my foot down and taking my son there with me, but decided to play it safe with WW and not rock the boat before this weekend so she won't suspect anything.

Just gonna lay low and proceed with the plan on Sunday and go from there.

Last night in a moment of weakness, I sent OM an email from a fake email account I created that basically called him an SOB and told him that I found his address and phone number and that the fun was about to begin... Looking back, I prob shouldn't have done that, but I wanted him to feel uneasy. It's taking every ounce of self-discipline not to drive to his house and have a one-on-one "conversation" with him...

I have a lot of pent-up aggression toward this loser.

erich,

Your feelings are normal.

I like seeing that you're taking action and not just letting her get away with it.

Get the exH to jump in with you as well if you can make it happen.

She will either come to her senses and try to work things out with you, leave your son with you while she takes off with her other two, or throw fits and stay while your son is in your home.

I would go all out on custody. As for everything. Expect less than that, though.

Unless you can show she's unfit. Her history of violence is something and the fact that she has 3 kids from 3 different men says a lot too.

Be the model of stability and a judge will see it.

But don't be sending threatening emails.

They can be used against you.

I am going to file for full custody on Monday. I have the paperwork in hand. Not sure what to put on the parenting plan as far as WW visitation. I was thinking of giving her every other weekend and two days during the week. I know I prob won't end up getting that but maybe it's a good starting point?


Yeah, I know that was a bad move. It was Christmas Eve, I was alone and feeling emotional. Hopefully it can't be tracked back to me since I created a bugus email account that I sent it from. I'll just deny that it was me if it ever comes up. I have to be more disciplined than that.

I sent the email after reading Mike's threads about how he threatened his OM and it seemed to work, but he didn't do it via email...

I just spoke with WW. Apparently, she won't be done moving out by this weekend. She'll have most of her things and all of her furniture (including kids' beds) moved out this Saturday, but she said that she'll still be here during the day next week removing the rest of her stuff...

Her plan is to load up her car during the day and then let me watch the kids when I get home from work while she drives a car load of stuff to her apartment. Then she'll come back to my house and take the kids back to her apartment to put them to bed.

This isn't the clean break that I was anticipating for this weekend. It doesn't give me much control of the situation if I let her come in and out of the house as she pleases next week.

Should I stick to my plan this Sunday, and then change the locks and essentially force her to have to continue packing her things only when I'm at the house and have a daily confrontation with WW to keep my child home for the nights? I guess I could take my son to in-laws during the times that I allow her to take her stuff out of my house or something like that, but again, I don't want to be guilty of alienation...

Any suggestions?

They can likely trace it back to you via the Internet message headers that are embedded in every e-mail message. The headers contain the IP address of the sender.

Blow the whistle on her ineligibility for government-assisted housing. That will leave her needing to find a new place (if she still wants to move out) and having to move the furniture all over again, and it will buy you more time to get the legal issues sorted out.

Let her know she can get anything else after Saturday by leaving you a list and you will get it together for her. But you don't feel comfortable with her moving things out while you are not there.

You don't even want her taking stuff out of the house while you aren't there.

Well, first off, you are into LegalLand here, you should be doing strictly what your attorney said to do, that's why you paid him. There is probably a way to get him in an emergecy.

Secondly, yes, NEVER do any threatening, period, and especially in writing. They'll be using it against you in custody.

I never emailed OMW. The only time (twice) I lost it with OMW was when I called and he picked up the phone. (I figure if he calls back he may be taping.)

That sounds like a calmer plan that it was, I was losing it both times, but that was what went down :-)

I re-read the email that I sent OM and it is very vague and doesn't say anything specific at all. Just the SOB part was specific. He emailed my real email address last night (he got it from my initial exposure email to him asking him to stop seeing my WW). He said some things that could be viewed as threatening.

It just strengthened my resolve to protect my child from him and WW.

I looked into this. The government assisted housing only uses the tenants' income to qualify for the housing. Since WW doesn't work, she doesn't receive any income officially except some child support from her exes.

I couldn't find any way to cut her gov't assisted housing off. I spoke to several people at the housing authority and they said there was nothing I could do! Maybe there's a way, but I haven't found it yet.

I'm really shocked at the level of entitlement of WWes.

The attitude of "I'm moving out and am taking the kids" is abhorrent.

Fight this legally.

Don't let her take your kid. You can't do much about the other two, from a legal standpoint.

That being said, DO NOT send OM any emails.

Anything in writing can be used against you.

I have advice to give you, but can't do it on this forum.

Let Justuss know that you want to talk to me offline and he'll check it with me and I'll greenlight giving you my email.

I can't really do it here because my exww reads my posts.

Yes, I think I will stick with my plan to keep my son at our house after she moves out and change the locks. I think that I will tell her what you suggested Mel. Thanks.

Would insults be considered threatening? I'll try to contact JustUs..