Hi Q...

Question.
Have you ever posted your picture on the MB Album?

I will surely love to see on your pics there!

Thank you for your support!!!

Angie

Can't you go to legal aid or something on that one...you can also file the paperwork yourself...or at least you can here...my sister went through legal aid and it cost her VERY LITTLE...

I wouldn't be surprised if he came out of the woodwork once the D is filed...especailly if there's consequences that involve money and him have to pay you a good bit...I would go after everything that you can...lawyer's fee, alimony, of course, not expecting to EVER get it, but a stick to your guns, I'm tired of your crap, there ARE consequences for your behavior kind of thing...

JUSTICE! I'm pretty hard core about following through with POWS and his crap...basically, if you do A, then I'm doing B...and he'll HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT! All legal...business!

It is exactly like PLan B and God will get you through...I filed but really didn't want the D...still hoped for recovery in a lot of ways...but like I said the other night, the furthur I walked, the more my mind set changed...remember from, maybe in a few years we'll get back together, to the stroke victim, to today, HE)) NO, NEVER!

Hi Angie, Nope, never have posted a picture. Don't know how.

But sweet of you to ask. You are very special to me, you know that?

Rin, There is MUCH financiall issues unresolved and filing for D doesn't appear to be the smart way to go. Especially when you consider I am absolutely going after him financially and getting EVERYTHING I possibly can get.

I warned him jokingly, don't EVER forget I'm the first wife with the children. His track record on child support, keeping in touch with the children, etc. can't help his case.

But if I'm really honest, and don't hit me for it yet, I'm just afraid. I'm afraid I won't have the strength and perserverance to fight him on every level. But if I was abused that would be normal, right? Not believing I am strong enough to take him on?

In a fifty-fifty state, do consequences to one's behavior make a difference?

Queenie,



Why not make that call TODAY??? Even if the A is not in the office, if you leave a message today, then YOUR message will be one of the first he gets when returning to the office. Follow it up with a call on Friday and another on Monday.

This isn't just about you, it's about the kids & making WH do what is RIGHT. Don't wait!

What are your plans for ringing in the New Year?

Yeah, what are you waiting for. Get it done this year! You don't want to wait another year before doing that!! :twobyfour:

Queenie,

I think that you need to get d@mn good and mad like Luna finally did. At this point, you are sitting by while he has fun for free and at your expense. Get mad girl!!!!

Remember, crack-ho gets what you and your children don't get.

GET MAD!

Yeah! What Chai said!!!!!

See, we can get mad for you. You need to get good and mad and take care of yourself....it's part of loving yourself!!!!

:twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour:

Hi Queenie,


....unless I didn't understand right, Queennie, sounds you would only be requiring him to follow through with what has been already been legally determined he owes you. I don't see any grey areas...or do you see any 'legal ways' your WS can walk away from not fulfilling his financial responsibilities towards you? Maybe you can get some 'free' consultation about what it would cost to pursue the matter...and what it would take to enforce the current CS ruling.

The 'FEAR' factor? :RollieEyes: Tell me about it!

Queenie, do you love yourself enough to go after what has been declared yours?


:twobyfour:

:happynewyear:

Well, I should have check back sooner. No, I haven't called the A yet. I'm just afraid. I'm sorry to let you down, but I just simply to scared to make this next step.. Yes, the courts gave me the money, but facing WH is just too much at me.

The holidays just simply have taken their toll on me. Snowbound for over a week, isolating and broke... :crosseyedcrazy:

Lucky me, I have the bridal faire this weekend and tomorrow as a gift to myself for my 25th anniversary I get to stuff 2000 envelopes. In a way, it's a good way for me to generate some income and become independent of WH.

For all of my MB family, may this year be filled of blessings, hopes and promises for the brightest, healthiest, properous and peaceful days ahead for all of us.....

and for you, too!

:happynewyear:

Same from me Queenie... :happynewyear:

And me.

But don't mess around.

I've spent the last 24 hours going from major depression to better to major depression to taking my power back (go read my "Wavering" thread...) circumstances are not the same but the bottom line is that you DESERVE to take care of yourself and your children and your WH ain't gonna do it for you!!

You're "learning to love yourself". Loving yourself includes standing up for yourself and holding other people accountable for their behavior - including poor, destructive behavior.

Taking power is scary because it finally means you're taking full responsibility for yourself. And that can feel like being alone. But the truth is that it will bring people to you like you won't believe. Nothing sexier, more attractive, more interesting or more capable than an empowered woman.

You're not lashing out, being mean, or setting yourself up for rejection. You were already dismissed. That life is over.

In this new life, you'll only get your power back if you take it. And in this case, it's right in front of you. You have to do this to really begin anew.

Push through your fear. You can do it.

GO GET IT!!!!

-M

Hi Queenie,

:happynewyear:

Hi Queenie,


I am sure Queenie that you are doing the best you can, and you are not letting anyone down. What you are doing however is depriving yourself of what is rightfully yours....

and if I understand it right... your wanting to avoid 'facing WH' means foregoing measures requiring your WS to fulfill his financial responsibilities just so you not literally risk SEEING or BEING in the same room as your WS?

I know the holidays can be tough as triggers can be numerous. Hopefully this too shall pass and you will find the strength to be able to claim what is rightfully yours... and good for you if you are finding ways to generate some income and be less dependent on WS.

Do you think you can at least ask your A what the procedure entails, share some of your fears, and then sit on it for a bit before making a decision?

QUEENIE

Hey, Queenie:

I'm not trying to hijack your thread, Queenie, but I noticed last night that our situations are somewhat similar (similar ages, length of marriage, kids ages, first love, first A, lost of respect, low self-esteem, not crack ho but 2-time divorcee with 3 kids, etc.). Could you please provide a synopsis of your timeline? Like...time from start of A to d-day, length of Plan As, length of Plan Bs, were there more than one As and Bs, any false recoveries along the way (like did he ever move back home?), D filed (or not filed) and by whom, etc. I'm just curious if my situation is normal or not. FYI, my WH has changed his mind multiple-times this year between me and her. This has resulted in him moving out of our home 5 times since D-day. Yep, this really sucks for me and the kids.

Thanks.

I like Luna's idea of learning more about what the procedure would be like. In my experience, the more information I have about something that makes me really anxious, the better I am able to handle it.

- M

Queenie;


:happynewyear:

Angie

Bump for Queenie...you OK?

:happynewyear:

- M

Queenie,
You are a great support person for some of us. Actually, all of us!

I have had a hard time lately and found myself questioning everything...but you know what? I sought God harder than before, and somehow gained peace again.

You have and still are a great inspiration to me.

So....get your rear end on this forum and share with me :RollieEyes: