In hindsight, I realize that firm boundries BEFORE my wife and I got married may have helped to avoid our current conflict. My sister-in-law and her daughter (16yr) lived with my wife when I met her. My wife and I dated for 3yr (broke up twice during) before we got back together in 1/08. When we got back together, all my wife could tell me was just how much she realized she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I must admit, I was very happy to be together again myself. It wasn't long after we reunited, that she and I started talking marriage. It was THEN I should have set boundries for the marriage we were discussing. I didn't. One of those boundries should have been our living arrangements. Instead of just accepting the fact her sis and niece were going to live with us, I should have said "no, let's wait until we (she, I and our blended family) can live as a family". I didn't and now I don't know what I should do. READ: Falsely Accused for more background on our most recent problem.

I have not read your other post, but thank you for sharing your insight into the benefit of boundaries. I am currently considering reconciling (see "He wants to reconcile. I need advice. Please help'). But he has been with other women and hurt me so much. if (IF) we do reconcile I will need to heed your advice and set some boundaries too, though I have no idea what they would be at the moment. Very confused about what to do. I wish you well in resolving your issues.