Remember, she thinks like a crack addict. What would she do to get her next fix? Just about anything. It is all about the fix.

Lie, cheat, steal, deceive...all "normal" activity for an addict.

She's already sold her soul...at this point, what's another "little lie"? Secret cell phones? Standard operating procedure.

Keep in mind that she is thinking ONLY of getting the next fix at all times. It's the nature of the beast.

About filling her EN's... don't over do the texts, but yes, send them occasionally, at irregular times. Nothing lovey-dovey, but thoughful... like "just thinking of you". Also, if you can tie good memories into them in conjunction with specific or general dates where you have good memories together... like "Remember the NYE party at Jerry's last year"? Something that will remind her of the GREAT MARRIAGE you had until she forgot her boundaries!

Be clever, creative and thoughtful!

Dont know what happened, she wont tell me yet, but something happened that OM did that has WW MAD. She said her love for him went from 100 to 0 and that she hates his [CENSORED] guts.

All she would tell me tonight was that she knew it deep down but wouldnt believe it until now.

I'm going to bet that he had an A with someone else, perhaps during his A with her. That helped to quickly change my FWW's feelings for her OM too.

That is my guess as well.

Just because, I asked her about the phone she got for him. She said she was suppossed to be getting it back last night. She said his W found it while cleaning out the car but she didnt believe him. I said no different because anything that causes him to not be truthful in her eyes is a good thing.

Got a link to your sitch MiM?

Called WW this morning when she got off of work to see how her night went. She actually talked to me and told me...actually had a conversation about it. Then she told me what happened last night. There was another girl that called OM and she calls him every night he works(he is out of town for the next week and if not for a shift being flipped for christmas he would have been scheduled to work last night). Funny how hurt a wayward feels when they feel like they have been "cheated on".

Sorry, no. I've let my story out here in dribs and drabs, but there's no one thread that covers everything. One day I might post "MiM's Story (abridged"...

I can't believe it!! The OM IS A CHEATER!???

Rusty, my FWW held on to believing the OM "still had it for her" for several months after NC was in place, or so I thought. Every time I'd lose it and utter a few LB's, she'd call him immediately after my outbursts. However, during this time the contact was by phone only, and no in person meetings. She held her "feelings" for him during this time period, which was several months. All the while she was cold, indifferent to our marriage, and not at all interested in me.

Finally, my son told me he'd seen the OM at the car dealership my son worked at, and the OM had his new girlfriend with him. I asked my son to relay that info to his mother, my then WW, because he'd stated they were acting all lovey-dovey while checking in OM's car for service. My son did as I'd asked and my then WW immediately called the OM and he confirmed that, yes, he'd moved on. My WW was shattered. I had to stay home two days from work and spent my time consoling her (vomit) and running her home day care, as she couldn't function without crying and being sick.

It was not until that day my then WW was able to think about what she'd done and consider returning to the marriage. The second day of her "breakdown" was the first day of our recovery.

It is stunning what goes on in the mind of a WS. My W was a deacon in our church for 5 years and her life has always been very involved in Christianity and attending and participating in church. I never exposed the A (which I regret to this day), which probably would have ended the A months before what happened above. But one of my points is this...no one would believe the pristine lady who is my wife would engage in such behavior.

My other point is that sometimes the A will hit some bump in the road, which hopefully your W has just experienced, which can positively influence "the end" of the A. Hopefully, this has taken place in your case.

Avoid LB's at all costs. Don't speak disparagingly of the OM. Be there for your W. Even comfort her for her loss if necessary. (vomit, again) Be the lighthouse for her, and make it safe for her to return to the marriage. If she leaves ANY opening to return with "stipulations", schedule an appointment with the Harley's and let them help you with some terms for her return. At some point she must show remorse for her actions and understand how much she's hurt you, and how she has to be prepared to take specific actions to help in the repair of your marriage.

You are handling things really well so far. Keep up the GREAT work.

Happy Holidays!

Yeah, can you believe it?!?!?!? lol

Maybe this is what is needed to turn her around...I sure hope so.

Oh me. Took the kids over there tonight and barely said anything to WW. She was looking pretty upset about everything so I just let her be. She has been telling me that I have been way too smothering so I am backing off a LOT. Maybe the fog will start to break soon or something and she will start to see what she has done...maybe. The whole A lasted less than 2 months IF it is really over.

The night before when he worked with her, she bent over and he walked up behind her and...well...said to her that they should just start meeting up about once a month. Just thinking about that makes my blood boil. How dare he touch my wife. Why cant these people just leave others alone!

Oh well, I will continue to do all I can but it's in God's hands for the most part now.

How do you know this stuff?? And are you passing this intel onto the OMW?


Thats right, Rusty. God is on your side, not theirs!

Rusty, I fear you have TRICKED ME!! Your name is not Rusty at all! I have always wondered why you would use your full name on here and today it hit me that your name is probably from some GUY movie. I have another friend whose nick name is "McLovin" :RollieEyes: and I didn't have any idea that was a guy movie. soooo, I did a search to see who Rusty Shackelford is and found you are tricking me!!

urban dictionary

WW told me this morning about it. She said that he worked with her Christmas night and told her that he was going to have to break it off with her completely. Then that happenend. WW said she has no interest in being a once a month booty call, she was just waiting for him to leave his W. She thinks she is in love with him but... Apparantly, he wants to move on to prey that doesnt fight back as hard and try to keep WW as an occasional roll. As for OMW, I am going to see what I can feel around for her mood and stuff again. No need making her think I'm lying or something when I would be better served with something solid.


Yeah, Rusty Shackelford is the name I have used for years for almost everything. When King of the Hill came out, everybody laughed at how much I was like Dale Gribble. Thats where the John Redcorn joke I made came from earlier in the thread. He was the indian healer that had a 12 year affair with Dale's wife. Dale's even raising his son and never notices.

If you've never seen it, it is a great show. Takes place in Texas and everything.

What a cruel irony that you would trick a TEXAN with that! I was tricked!


Please TEXT the OMW with this latest intel.[bloodpressure] I am also AGHAST and DISGUSTED that your wife would be SO CRUEL as to tell you this kind of thing. The next time this happens, tell her you cannot bear to her sordid adultery stories. Ask her to have some DAMN DECORUM, for crying out loud!

[/bloodpressure]

I have to occasionally remind her about my boundaries. She has always told me about everything and is still doing it. WW always knew that I was the one person she could talk to about anything, I was always there for her for that stuff. Her family would always make her feel like crap and I would be there for her. She never even had any friends to talk to this stuff about, the only friends she had would stab her in the back and then she would still be friends with them. The only things she didnt tell me were the things she bottled up inside about me. Woulda kind of been useful.

But I was a neglectful husband. Sometimes I was even mean but I am changing to be what I need to be. Sadly, I act almost exactly like her dad.((shudders)) But that is ending. I am becoming a new me. A better husband, a better father, and a better person.

LOL! I've been waiting for the big reveal from you about this.

I LOVE King of the Hill!!

Charlotte

Me too. WW and kids love it but WW grew tired of it when we only could watch DVD's and watched almost nothing but KOTH for about a year and a half. I know every line from every episode by heart from seasons 1-6. Made me mad that they never put out season 7 or any others.

Maybe I should just walk up to OM and yell,"That's my purse, I dont know you!!"

Rusty, this is SICK. It is sick and cruel for her to tell you this kind of stuff. It is a sign of ABSENT BOUNDARIES and a shocking lack of respect. It is not a sign of openess and honesty or respect. Your wife has LOST RESPECT for you by being allowed to treat you with such flagrant cruelty. You are the one person she should NEVER be allowed to walk all over and treat with cruelty and disrespect and that is what is happening when she tells you this stuff.

By allowing this, you are sending her the message that it is OK for her to act like a PIG and ok to be cruel to you. Don't allow her to disrespect you, Rusty. Women don't love men they have no respect for.

Rusty Shackleford, being a fine upstanding Texan, would never let anyone mistreat him without pistol whipping them!

oh no, don't get her started! Charlotte knows all those movies! So does MrsW, who usually clues me in.

Speaking of movies, a few years ago my brother got full custody of his teenage AUTISTIC son. He is like Rainman, ie: aspergers in that he memorizes mass quantities of minutia, such as cookbooks and road maps.

My B, not knowing what to do with this teenage kid, plunks him front of the TV and puts in stupid movies. As a result, my nephew has memorized EVERY Jim Carrey movie and can recite the script of every movie.

When I say told me about everything, I meant before the A. She then carried over with it into the A and I have had to tell her many times to stop.

When she starts in on most stuff, I tell her to stop and that she is crossing my boundaries. Only reason I didnt say anything about that this morning was that he made her mad when she did it. She was pi$$ed that he did that and all in a patients room. IDK, it seemed to be different that it was something he did that upset her.

Yeah! There you go!! He would probably look dumbfounded! Or maybe he looks like that anyway!

(Yeah, that one was HILARIOUS!)

Yeah, I wish they would, too. I hadn't watched it for some time but caught a few eps that were new a few weeks ago.

Charlotte