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#2182494 12/27/08 02:22 AM
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Miker Offline OP
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It's been a long time since I've posted on here.

I guess I should explain my subject line. This place was a haven for me when I was going through my divroce. My former wife cheated on me with another man. The details of this don't really mean much to me any more but this place was a friendly place when I was alone and fearful.

The good news. I have 3 wonderful children a daughter 15, another daughter 13 and a boy 8.

My eldest daughter was having learning difficulties prior to our divorce. Subsequent to then she has turned her life completely around. She is an A student, and is one of the hardest working people I know. In grade 7 (a year after the divorce) she received a award from her school called the gryphon award. This was for the hardest working student in grade 7. She has never looked back, and has achieved A grades ever since. This year she is in grade 10.

My now thriteen year old daughter is also a A student. I had a bit if a hard time with her a couple of years ago. She said she had suicidal thoughts. I freaked out and took her to the mergency room immediately. After being ther I found out it was more to do with her having her period than with the divorce. Duh. I'm just a Dad, trying to do it all. My worries were misplaced and all is well now, although I know she misses having a *real* family most of anyone.

My boy is fabulous and expect great thing from him. He is kind, extremely intelligent and a very good athelete. I expect great things from him. He was only 4 when we dealt with the infidelity and doesn't yet know the truth. Actually I don't care if he ever knows. If he ever asks I will tell him the truth.

Frankly, looking back, I think probably my divorce from my irrational wayward spouse was probably the best thing for my kids. I have been very focused on them and they have done very well for themselves. Still this time year I hate. My kids have become a custom to it (as far as I know) but I still hate being alone.

I have dated, but I am very inflexible when in comes to new partners. It's me and my kids first, so usually I quickly reject any potential new mates because I don't see them fitting into my life. Or more acurately I don't want them messing up my life. I know it's not fair for them or probably for me but I feel this is the sacrifice I've given.

Are you willing ot take this sacrifice? Think about this before you consider divorcing you wayward spouse. I don't have a lot of regrets, things have been good, but if ever there was a hope to make it work I wish I could have. If you have that opportunity I encourage you to try it. I'm a big believer in a lot that is said on this site, and the first to admit I have failed in marriage, but I have suceeded in being a parent and you can too - with or without a wayward spouse.

Back to the title of this post. This time of year is tough. Personally my wayward spouse has a new man (not the OM but a different sucker) and has the kids this weekend. I have the kids full time and being alone over Christmas really sucks, but I do it for them and their relationship with their mother.

Anyways, not sure what exactly my point is but for all those going through this. There is hope, and there are struggles. Best of luck and my heart is with those with a true heart. Cheers and Merry Christmas to you! I wish the best for you.

Cheers,

MikerD


I was the BS - 36
She was the WS - 36, PA with MM
DS8, DD13, DD15 - All living with Dad
DDay 05/04, Divorced 08/05
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 511
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I liked this post a lot, Miker! It came at a good time for me. I'm so glad that the children are coping so well. I hope 2009 is a good year for you and them!

All the best,

Tully


Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
Maya Angelou
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Miker Offline OP
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Thanks Tully. I'm really glad you found something useful out of my post. I'm sure 2009 will be great and I hope it is for you and your children too. 2008 was full of challenges but also a lot of successes. Life is never boring, that's for sure! All in all I shouldn't complain, although it feels good to vent once in a while wink Thanks for listening!

Cheers,

Miker


I was the BS - 36
She was the WS - 36, PA with MM
DS8, DD13, DD15 - All living with Dad
DDay 05/04, Divorced 08/05
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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I remember you, Miker! Glad that your family is doing well!

You are a good guy, and will find someone to share your life, sooner or later. But it is hard with kids. What I ran into at your stage was that certain men I could see being good for my kids, and other men, what I wanted, but getting the combination in one man was hard.

Better to date several women casually and not introduce them to your family until things get serious.

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Miker, Your post was uplifting in a way that is tough to describe. I think because you are so healthily in tune with your lot, very uplifting and quite frankly, inspirational.

I wish you well. I hope you find great happiness, although it seems you know better than many what real happiness entails.

I predict that you will one day find the kind of woman that you deserve. Keep looking Miker, it is there somewhere.

Mr. G


"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," Bob Dylan

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