Awwwww.....that's cute!!!

Charlotte

cute?? Just wait until you hear him recite DUMB AND DUMBER in mixed company!! I thought my poor mother was going to faint.

Charlotte, did you smell a kindred spirit over here in Rusty?? I fear MrsW will be along soon and this will turn into another juvenile delinquent convention!

Dumb and Dumber!! Oh, I LOVE it!! Especially when they are arguing with that thug, "Mental," in the van before they stop to eat and accidentally kill him!! I would love to hear your nephew recite that! I'd be right there with him!!!

Yes, I guess I did!!

LMAO!! ALLLLLLRIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!! A JD Convention!!

WOO-HOOOOOO!!!!

Charlotte

note to self: do not EVER let Charlotte and MrsW around nephew!

I'm sorry, but this is just sick. No wonder she doesn't respect you. You don't respect yourself.

Can't you come up with SOME sort of consequence for her disrespecting you?

So my boundary should be anything about OM or what?

I'm sorry, I am just trying to see where it should be. If he does something to her and she doesnt like it then it is ok or not? She wants him to either leave his W or leave her alone. I tell her that it doesnt matter because I only want her to stop it and no matter what she is not "special" for him.

Sounds crazy? Maybe, IDK.

I DO have boundaries that she is not allowed to cross with me and if she does, I leave. Sounds like you are suggesting I move that boundary up.


ETA: one of my boundaries is that I will not call him by his name. I call hime either him, affair partner, or [CENSORED]

Hi "Rusty," I just read your comment on my thread and seeing how we are the same age and all (hehe) I read your thread. What a roller-coaster. Seems like you've had a really positive attitude throughout this ordeal.

It does seem like your WW's A is pretty doomed. That's a positive thing. I've found that exposing and setting up boundaries was the easy part for me in retrospect. It was also pretty easy for me to enforce those boundaries once I set them up (like no talking on phone with OM in our house and no online chatting with OM in our house).

The harder part for me has been changing myself to try to meet WW's ENs and avoid LBs. It sounds like you've been doing a pretty good job of that! Way to go!

Keep up the good work. You'll either get your WW back, or you'll lose all feeling for WW and allow yourself to move on with few regrets. But I think you're marriage has a good shot at succeeding so just hang in there!!!

Thanks. The part I have had a hard time with is LBing. Talking about the relationship. Other than that and some of the other things of trying to be her husband...its all good. I havent had but 1 or 2 AO.

Slowly but surely coming to have a good plan A.

Rusty - I almost tossed my bacon and eggs. This is just disgusting - like two alley cats rutting in a patient's room.

It makes me wonder if the sexual predator OM tries to get booty calls from any of the patients.

I hope you will report the latest to their employer. They are in a position of public trust and are care providers, for God's sake. It just makes me cringe.

I do keep a record of what he has done to her in patients rooms and told the employer.

WW gets upset about it because he makes her feel bad that he does this stuff in patients rooms. She says it is unehtical and just wrong. She wants no part of it like that. I think that is why she tells me about what happens at work, she feels really bad about it needs to tell somebody.

What should be my boundary line for talking about OM? How much is too much?

Oh, wow! Now THAT is being strong! THAT is fighting for your marriage! "Excuse me, hon, what position was it that you and..."Him"... did it when you were in the washateria? Cos I really want to know!"

Am I the only person here who thinks he needs to kick her busy butt out on the curb? Jeez, RS, are you her husband or her BFF? Grow some cajones and call her out each and every time she even STARTS to mention her sordid, disgusting affair with this man.

Boundaries? How about there will be NO talk, NO contact, NO mention of OM, NO discussion of anything having anything to do with the SOB under YOUR roof!

She is having an adulterous affair and she is concerned that the OM is being "unethical?"

Ok, your response should be laughter, RS. That is so ridiculous it should be added to the best of FOGBABBLE thread. that is some serious fogbabble.

Tell her you have no desire to hear about her sleazy affair and to please show some respect for you.

p.s. Rusty, is the HR director does not do something about this, I would go over her head to a higher authority with this information. Is this a nursing home?

Yes, it is. I have contacted the main lady there and we have talked a lot. She has people watching them and says she is getting everything ready. She was concerned that if she brought them both in and they lied then she would not have much to go on since I am the one telling her this and look at my position...I look like I might be making stuff up for revenge. She said that she is going to try to either catch them or maybe she will talk to WW soon and see if she spills the beans. She wants WW to come and talk to her but she wont.

So my boundary should be NO info on OM unless I ask about something?

Yes and no. There is a big difference between types of information. Telling you hurtful information should be verboten. But telling you stuff like: the OM grabbed my crotch is DISRESPECTFUL and hurtful.

You are not her girlfriend, for Gods sake. Not that I have any GF I could ever tell anything like that.

Thats hard to do. She moved out the day the PA started.

OK. I only took if for 2 reasons:

1. Things to tell them to help get him/her fired.
2. These were things that bothered her and caused internal conflict.

Hey Rusty, on SECOND THOUGHT, maybe you should continue to listen to this stuff for the reasons you gave. Document the date and action in order to report to the HR Administrator.

Do you have a record of all these events and the dates? Maybe you could send this up the line and over her head?

Yes, I do.

I thought I had set the right boundaries. Since she is living with her mom, not many consequences I can make for her that I could follow through on. When she crosses one of my boundaries, I tell her that it hurts me and I leave.