How did OM duck out from the offensive touching and criminal trespassing.

Also, I presume there was no conclusion drawn about the poor speech. I think that someone needs to tell him.

Well done that you held your tongue in front of WW. I don't know that I could have.

Hi all,

Yesterday was my birthday, DD3 and DS6 got me and XBOX 360 for my birthday - courtesy of my folks!

I returned the kids at the supermarket last night. I knew it was going to be tense - WW was still seething about the custody order. We met - I had to sign the listing agreement for the house. She wanted me to get in her truck to do it - absolutely no way was I going to fall for that trap. It should me noted I also had my tape recorder in my pocket as well.

After we signed the papers, she started asking me what I was going to do about the custody order. I told her :

"I don't want to talk about it. I need to get to a spinning class. Besides, the kids are in the truck."

I got in my car, she then put her hand on my car door so I couldn't close it. I told her multiple times to let go so I can close my car door. A long stream of WW fogbabble emitted from her mouth. Finally, she let me close my car door and I drove away.

Anyways, I had the kids for 5 straight. It was fun but exhausting. On Wednesday, Itook the kids to their swimming lessons at the Y. DD3 is like a fish! She kept telling me and the instructor - "Big Girl" and refusing to let us hold onto her while she practiced her skills!

On Thursday, DD 3 had her first private speech session. It was very interesting. At her age most of the speech therapy is play based. The therapist had a doll house. THe first thing DD did was grab the bed, Said Mommy when she put the mother in the bed, said Daddy when she put the father in the bed, and said "Me" after she put the child figure between mommy and daddy in the bed. I did not give the therapist any background on the situation at home.

After speech therapy, DS6 had his first counseling session. The counselor said it went well. She didn't cover much with me - she said she needs a couple of more sessions before she can make any type of determination.

On Friday, we went out to dinner then went swimming after dinner at the Y. We had a blast!

On Saturday, we were invited to MIL's house for dinner. SIL was there too so the kids exchanged X-Mas gifts. I had to take the kids to MIL's house since WW refuses to take the kids to see their Aunt.

For Sunday, the kids bought me the XBOX and we played Lego Indiana Jones all day! What a fun game! DS6 is pretty good at it too!

All in all, a fun 5 days.

Hi again - I changed my sceen name to PSUBIKER. I figured my old name of ShockedBetrayed was too depressing and wanted something more positive.

Do you think WW is letting DD sleep with her and OM?!?!?

It wouldn't surprise me - DD pretty much always crawled into bed with us. WHen I caught them, they were lucky DD wasn't in bed with them. Usually DD came into our room about the time I caught them.

Oh no no no no! You need to STOP this. This is how child abuse starts. I don't care what your WW says. OM does not belong in bed with your DD!

Echoing princess meggy.
I wanna barf.

Also if this IS happening, I can PROMISE you that CPS would yank those kids in a heartbeat. I've seen it happen before for this very thing.

Ok - there's no way for me to verify for sure if DD is getting in bed with Mommy and OM. What are my next steps? I do not want to ask DS6 or DD3 if this is the case - that's putting them in the middle. Do I just call CPS and voice my concerns with them? Will they investigate it just based on hearsay?

Get your DD an appointment with your son's counselor TODAY. Tell the counselor you suspect something and want him/her to see if they can get any information!

Your DD's speech therapist "witnessed" this. Tell your child's counselor about it. Get him/her to recommend any action to CPS. They have a duty to protect the child if they feel the child is being harmed.

Hi Psu,

Had to double check to make sure I had the right writer.

I am so sorry that you have to experience these hassles. Difficult to maintain a cheerful glance when war is declared. Apart from the tape was there any other witness.

In CA, your daughter's speech therapist would be a mandated reporter. It would be AGAINST THE LAW not to report something if she had any suspicion of it. However, if she doesn't know that there's another "daddy" in the picture, she can't even begin to apply the proper analysis to what your daughter did.

In my adopted grandchildren's case (and at about the same age, too), their bio-mom wanted every guy that wafted through her bed to be called "daddy." (And at least one of them DID molest her.) With OM in the picture, and in the bed, there is a real possibility that the "daddy" in the bed is not you. It's a strong likelihood that your wife is doing the same, to set the children up to accept the new arrangement. The therapist can't know this possibility unless you tell her. Figure out a way to state your concern with calm neutrality, and then let the therapists go from there. How children play in therapy can have great significance.

tl

PSUB,

I missed it somewhere, but what is your new custody arrangement?

Let her rant and rave. You've been given a fair amount, from the sounds of it.

Glad to hear it. Strike one for the good guys.

And keep that recorder rolling. Getting her on tape refusing to let go of your door and doing this stuff in front of the children is very valuable for when you do finally have a custody trial.

Be aware, however, that you will have to provide these recordings in disclosure, which comes before you go to trial.

Hang on to them till 24 hours prior to your trial. Give it to them then and they won't have as much time to prepare to rebuff the recordings.

But follow what your lawyer tells you.

If their attorney does a formal request and PSUB withholds this evidence, the other side can file for sanctions against PSUB AND his attorney. The judge could even throw the evidence out! He'll have to explain to the judge why he didn't produce them when asked (if the other side asks properly). If they don't ask, then too bad, so sad for them.

I guess he could also claim they were "lost" but now they're "found" but that would be lying to the Court. Probably not a good idea.

I was using the example of how my ex's attorney did things. He handed things over 24 hours prior to the hearing.

But perhaps it's best to do as you say and play it safe that way.

What if WW does not know I taped her? The real reason I have the recorder going was because of the two restraining orders she filed against me that were proven in court to be figments of her imagination.

Make sure you're in a one party state or you could be breaking the law.

Record her if you can record her. Record every interaction. Record her ranting at you.

But make sure you're in a one party state before you do.

You can usually google that and find out if you're in a two party state or one party state.

If you're in a one party state, then you're golden and count yourself lucky that you can record away without her consent.

If you're not in a one-party state, maybe you could just have the tape recorder out in the open when you meet with her. The purpose of the tape is to prevent her from making groundless abuse claims, and if she sees you are recording the transaction, that would be a deterrent to her doing so.

It would save you losing time with your kids, too, since it seems like every time she makes a groundless complaint, you get banned from seeing the kids for a couple of months.

I don't think, though, that you would get into trouble by recording your own encounters with her, even if your state isn't "one party". At worst, it might not be admissible in court. That's just my opinion, though, and you'd be well advised to solicit the advice of someone who really knows...

Holding the recorder in view and saying "you're being recorded" is enough in most states to have implied consent on her part and let you keep recording.