Hello all, I am new to these forums, but have been reading this web site for a month or so now. I have learned a lot from the site about my needs. It really was surprising to me how much I learned.

Anyway, let me give you a little background information on myself. I am a divorced single dad (full time) of 2 great kids. My marriage of 10 years spun out of control starting in 2001 (7 years married at that point) when my EW had admitted to me of a one night affair. I was devastated, but wanted to continue our marriage. In 2002 we moved back to the US (I'm in the Army) and our marriage, I thought, was moving back to where it was. I still had trouble dealing with the affair, but was willing to work on it. Then the war kicked off and I was gone a lot training and preparing to deploy. That was '02-'03. When I finally left in '04 is when my EW decided to start partying and is when I consider our marriage as being over. When I came back home at the end of '04 I got custody of our kids and a full divorce in '05. This time in my life had to be one of the most difficult times I have ever dealt with. Not only was I in a war, I was on the sidelines watching my marriage fall apart.

This leads me to my current situation. I have not dated much since my divorce was final in '05. I was talking to a woman I met after the D was final, but I was not ready to date at that time, as I was concentrating on my children (a year away takes its toll). I then moved at the end of '05 and have been at my current location since then.

After 5 years of no dating (I did go out to dinner w/ a woman once, but that's all since being here), I have finally started a relationship with a very special woman. Is it normal for post divorce people to wait this long to start a relationship? I don't think I was even ready to date until this year. The funny thing is that I tried (this year) but always got turned down, or I turned the other person down, so I thought there was something wrong with me. But now the woman I am dating has made me feel like I was waiting for her. It truly is wonderful.

Thanks for listening/reading.

It's perfectly normal to wait as long as you did and probably healthier as well. Everyone heals at their own pace. It's more important that you do heal, not how long it takes. Congratulations!

It is stated that people need to wait one year after a divorce to be ready to start dating. The time is needed to heal, grieve the lose, and get ready to date again.

What you did was mature to wait til you knew you were ready.

You wait until it is right for you. A longer wait is probably better than jumping into things to quickly. Do what is right for you.

As all of the above have said, what is right for you is different then others, so do what is right for you.

It's been over 6 years and I just started dating.

Go read all the material here so that you don't allow the same mistakes to happen, make sure you have a good POJA, it's important!!

Best wishes to you and your lady friend!!!

Dawn