Good deal! Now she is not coming in your house, is she? Is she planning on taking DD somewhere else? The idea here is for her to be alone on Christmas Day and not have access to your house. That will be a much needed wake up call for her, braeworth.

Wild horses won't stop her, so don't worry about that.

No she is not coming in to the house.
Not sure what she is doing on Christmas Day, as far as I know she will be alone with her microwave dinner

Brae

Your WW will probably be having a romantic Christmas dinner with OM.

She is NOT platonic with him. This NEVER happens. As in NEVER>

It ALWAYS happens that waywards lie however every time they move their teeth. Its that idiot wind.

Your AO and DJ did not drive her out. Any shred of excuse to restart her PA would have sufficed. Get a Guarantee via your intermediary that if she has your kids over Christmas they will not meet OM.

Stay dark.

Brae,

I just thought I would second/third/fourth whatever everyone else's comments. Yea, in a perfect world you would not have DJ'd her or hand an AO, but reintroducing OM into a BS's life has a tendency to bring out those responses. You are human after all.

I think plan b is here to stay until you go to plan D. She says she loves you, but let me remind you as others have already said, her ACTIONS indicate that she does NOT love you. Her words mean nothing, her actions tell the tale.

And the actions are she left, she moved in with OM, and she is having an affair with him no matter what she says. She chose OM over you. Not the actions of someone who loves you.

I hate to be this harsh but these are the facts that prevail.

I do hope things change because clearly you have a lot of love left in your heart for her, meaning you did well to go to plan B. But, in reality this is hers to change and she has done nothing to change it.

God Bless,

JL

BP, JL,

I am 99% sure you are both right. The odds are stacked against her, I just dont understand why she won't admit it and come clean when she is living with OM

Because then she'd have to admit she's the adulterous one in the family?

Thanks Cat,
But we already know that, she already had an A with this guy and everyone knows that. She has been saying that she will give it some time away without complicating things with OM or anyone else. Not saying I believe it

All quiet in Brae world.
WW has been pretty much sticking to my Plan B requests, she has sent a couple of texts but only if she was running late for DD, only factual stuff.

Was talking to a mutual friend the other day, WW had told her that she did deep down want our M but she just did not think she could be happy here anymore, if she thought she could she would be back like a shot. MORE FOG BABBLE.

Took my parents and DD to my brothers family this weekend to drop off Christmas presents. Had a nice couple of days, but I do find any talk of Christmas plans etc very difficult to deal with without getting upset

Sorry not been around much. I have been dealing with some health issues. Looks like I may have testicular cancer. I am waiting for a date for a scan.
I broke my Plan B, as when I found the lump, the one person who would know if it had always been there is WW. Since then she has been supportive and came to the doctors with me. Not sure if this was the right thing to do, but it was what I needed at the time.
She is still insisting that relationship with OM is platonic, I have given up trying to work out if that is true or not, just told her that every minute she spends with him is another nail in my heart.
WW has said that she still loves me, still wants our M and to save our family. She has indicated that she may be willing to meet my PBL conditions BUT(there is always a but), in the few weeks since she left she has enoyed standing on her own two feet, taking care of herself and enjoying her freedom. She said that she lived with her parents until she married me, when she was 21. So she feels like she has always been controlled. She worries that if she comes back she will go back to being controlled by me, and she says she did not feel equal in our M. I always took control.
I have explained that there are things we can do to fix this and to stop her feeling this way, mentioned POJA etc, she has read Fall in Love Stay in Love. She has agreed that once we get through the holidays, we will sit down and try to come up with a plan to allow her to come home without feeling this way.
I asked her to remember the very first D-Day, the ILYBNILY speech and how I said that she could fall back in love with me, she admits that she has and that was all true, and so I asked her to trust me that we could fix these other issues if we worked together

So I really could do with some help from the vets, out there. Mel if you are around could do with your input

braeworth, I am sorry to hear about your cancer. What is the recovery rate with this type of cancer?

As far as the other stuff, it is just the same crap she has been talking for years. She is not coming back, she is just stringing you along. Nothing has changed except she now has 2 men meeting her needs so her affair is propped up. Doing the same thing over and over and over and over again is not likely to avail you anything. I would file for divorce and go into Plan B.

Hi Mel,
The rcovery rate is good as long as it is caught early enough. It is what Lance Armstrong had, and he has won many Tour de France races since.

As for WW, she does seem willing to meet PBL conditions but is worried about lsoing the control she has taken of her life. If I am honest I have controlled her to an extent. I really would like to fight this thing with her by my side but not at all costs

Cool, so she has ended her affair and moved home?

No but she has indicated that she may be willing to. I think for this to happen, she would have to feel like she would have an equal say in our M

It is empty talk, braeworth. Its all bullcrap. The affair has to end first. Until she ends her affair, you are wasting your time. That is like asking an alcoholic to go to AA meetings without putting down the drink. They kick drunk people out of AA for this very reason.

Your wife wants to keep you meeting her needs while she carries on her affair. That is all this is. She is talking just enough smack to keep you on the leash.

Ok Mel,
I here you, just Plan B can be a lonely enough place anyway without these other issues. Don't know for definite I have got cancer yet, waiting for a scan date

Why would you subject yourself to her affair when you need all of your inner resources to fight cancer? Plan B is the perfect answer, braeworth. You need to be away from her unless you can accept being man #2 in this threesome? Can you?

And if they are just "friends" why not go spend the weekend with your WW at OM's? You can all be "friends" together.

I am serious. I want you to call her up now and ask if you can spend the weekend at OM's with her. OM would have to stay so you can all be "friends," of course.

Thanks Mel, you made me laugh.
I dont want to subject myself to the A, I want to offer her a way home where there is a plan to fix the issues

I am serious! Call her up and tell her since they are "just friends" you would like to spend the weekend there and you can all be "friends."

You have already offered her a way home: END THE AFFAIR. END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.END THE AFFAIR.

If she is willing to meet the conditions of my PBL, I want to show her a plan to repair or M and the issues she has with it