I am four days divorced and life is good. I hate to say it, but every bit of suffering brought on by XH (I love the sound of that) was worth it for me to be where I am right now!

Tabby, I know you are out there and will see this. You should really try and convince your ex to do something stupid and divorce you. It really does feel good to know he doesn't matter anymore.

Ms,

Congrats on your new independence! It sounds as if you are so ready to start a new chapter in your life.

I, too, love my life. Divorce caused me many changes, but the best change was my sense of ME!

Best wishes for 2009!

UpandRunning

Ms. -

It sounds wrong to say "Congratulations" on your divorce, but speaking from personal experience, my divorce truly WAS one of the greatest blessings in my life.......my life is truly wonderful - no more hours, minutes, days spent in a miserable marriage! I'm going on 5 years divorced, and it still feels GREAT.

So, I say "Congratulations" on this new chapter in your life! Enjoy!

Laura

Hello Everyone,

I'm looking at an upcoming divorce and it's very encouraging to hear people come through the ordeal better than ever. Wish me good luck. I go from being relaxed about my decision to being scared. Is this normal? I'm not wavering on it, I've just never been on my own (independent). Does anyone have any thoughts? If so, please share.

Casser,
I know exactly how you feel. I am 100% sure that I made the right choice in getting a divorce.

However, the unknown is terrifying. My divorce won't be final for a while yet. So, until then, I'm just focusing on saving money so I can support myself.

After the divorce, I don't know where I will go... my plan is to leave the marital home because I can't afford it on my own. I'm a bit nervous about my future.

But, honestly, I would take the scary unknown over my stbexwh any day.

Congrats MM. Interesting - Wstbx called the other day asking for some info for the form. He also asked if he could come by for me to sign it, rather than have me served. I didn't say no, though part of me still wants to be uncooperative (or at least insist once more that the ho's name goes on it). Honestly, it doesn't make a bit of difference in the grand scheme of things which box is checked (adultery vs. separated a year). It would just make me feel better to know her name is on public record somewhere as being an official wh**e. But you are right, I should quit stalling and just let him procede. He'll probably still take his sweet time about it (it's been a year already since he could file without my sig anyway but her D has gone through so I suppose she's pressuring him).

But I also hear you about being in a better place now than even before d-day and before I learned that I wasn't happily married. I'm in total control of my life now and I'm finally reaping the benefits of all the hard work I put in during my younger days. It's great! I guess the icing would be to have that piece of paper.

The paper feels good.

All in all, it didn't matter to me anymore whether he was dragged through the mud or not. I am past the bitter angry phase. Now, I see the future and how much brighter it is.

Life is good. I couldn't be happier.