Also, moving out, taking the kids away, and not allowing the husband to see them is what cost Eph525's WW custody. Eph525 is now divorced with full custody of his children. DOCUMENT!

No, all good points. I'm the disciplinarian for the kids, my W usually ends up screaming with them, becomes a kids herself. Good point.

Maybe if I were actually faced with it I would reassess. It would just be based on so many factors, schools, work, whether the OM was supposedly in the picture, etc.

She has just been the primary caregiver. Although, I must say, when I tossed her out in August, I had the kids doing their own laundry, making their own lunches, etc, and they still are now.

Well, the other difference is I have one off to college and two in high school.

Anyway....ericch has different issues, a young kid, substandard housing, hostile OM in the picture, ex-husband ally, etc. All I'm saying is, in some situations, one parent is obviously a better caregiver, work schedule-wise or whatever, and it is unfortunate if the kids becaome a football in a custody battle waged for spite.

Guess what? The last WW who did this so enraged the JUDGE by that he gave the father full custody. Your W did a stupid thing. We have several fathers here who have/had full custody of their kids. Eph525 is one. I have told him about your thread and asked if he could take a look.

Keep your head up, Erich! Your W sounds like a real number!

Can someone define terms here? Full custody, partial custody, visitation, weekends....in NJ it's 'primary custody', and the other partner has a pretty significant obligation, as well.

I have no idea what the different terms mean. In Eph525's case, the kids live with him and his wife gets a visit [not overnight] during the week and, I believe, every other weekend or maybe one weekend a month. [overnight]

When the judge found out that she would not let him see his kids, he also gave HIM the house and made her move out.

Got it, thanks! It was a dumb question..




She told me on the phone today that she has an appointment with an attorney this Friday...

I don't know where she is going to get the money for an attorney.

I canceled her car insurance today and let her know by voicemail. That's another expense she'll have to pay immediately.

No court order, just pure drama. I never said that she couldn't have him.. She just assumed that I would try to force our son to stay with me.


My attorney will have the paperwork ready to file this Wednesday. He said it will take a couple of weeks or more to get a court date though. How long does she have to keep our son away from me for it to be considered big trouble? She says she will not let me see him..

We only have one credit card together. We tried to get her taken off, but the credit card company wouldn't let her be taken off because my ratio of utilized revolving credit is too high. That card is almost maxed out already. There is about $500 credit limit available. I called today to see if WW tried to get a card sent out to her (I don't think she has a physical card for this account). They said "no." They said that I could just close the account if I want to. I will prob go ahead and do that just in case. $500 is $500...

Both attorneys that I have met with have already given me the reality check. They said that there is basically no chance that I will get sole legal or physical custody. The only time that happens around here is if the spouse is a raging alcoholic or abuses the kids or something like that.

Even so, I told him to file for full legal and physical custody with about a 70/30 split in time in my favor and hopefully we'll end up settling in between. My attorney said he'd go for it.. Maybe WW will make some big mistakes and I'll come out ok. We'll see.

...It was six cops. They arrived in three squad cars. I'm surprised she didn't call the national guard and the SWAT team..

She won't answer my phone calls...




You know, you are absolutely right. And after spending several hours cleaning my house tonight, I see that she has just let everything go these last few months. I know that she slept in pretty late most days and put movies on for the kids. I guess I just built her up to much in my mind. The fog is still parting...

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!

Do you have a journal yet? If so, you need to document this today. Print out a list of the phone calls you made to your WW that she did not answer and give it to your lawyer.

If not, GET ONE!

Oh, who cares if your lawyer is pessimistic. They lower the expectations so you don't get pissed with them if you don't get primary custody.

Factors that determine custody in Missouri:

I've been keeping a daily journal of events since the beginning of December. I also documented a few other events that happened in Oct and Nov. I definitely documented the heck out of today. I told my brother-in-law to write down a description of everything that happened today when the cops ripped my son from him. BIL said he would write it all down. I'll followup with him tomorrow to get a copy of it.

Oh, that is just RIDICULOUS!!! :RollieEyes:

Make sure your attorney has a copy of the previous police report as well as the newest one. Clearly she is over the top with this and the judge will see it, too!

Another good reason to get copies is so you can beat her to the punch with it before her attorney has the chance to do a "spin" on it when you are in court.

Charlotte

Good, good, good!!

Charlotte

Hi Melody, How long did Eph525's wife not let him see his kids for?

Thanks!

Eric,

I hate this (because your son is in the middle).

But I love this because your wife is already showing that she is going to be easy to attack and to make mistakes. This was a HUGE one.

Can you email her and tell her that you want to see your son tomorrow? Then when she emails back that she isnt going to allow you to see him, you have documented evidence (not just hearsay).

What you want to do now is to give her every way possible for her to hurt herself in court. Look for targets of opportunity. Try calling, and saying yo uare calling to say goodnight to your son. Keep all of this in the journal.

Keep up the attack! if she is calling in 6 cops for a stupid act like she did, no telling how far into left field she will go.

Help her mess herself over!

erich,

This is a shot that has been made accross your bow.

The time for hopes of reconciliation is over. The time to act is now. This is full blown warfare and meekness and niceness will not get you anywhere with her.

It's time for hardball and the big guns.

No, the odds are indeed low that you would have sole physical and legal custody.

The lawyers aren't wrong there.

But having a split of 70/30 is not out of the question.

But neither is soul physical and legal. It is possible.

Especially if you go in armed with the past history of abuse on her part. You have her ex as a willing witness. You have her latest stunt.

This is the part that is going to be the hardest for you. Sit still and document and continue to try to establish contact with your son.

Now, calling her twice a day to try and talk to your son is normal. Calling her 8-10 times shows obsession.

You don't want the court to get the impression that you are a man they need to protect her and the child from.

So your greatest challenge will be to be lukewarm. Show a desire to be with your son, but don't be on a militant mission to do so.

This will be very hard because your emotions will be high.

So documentation is the key.

And being still and quiet as you do the back room legal maneuvers.

You will get to see your son again. You can get a PL order that puts your son in the marital home.

I would immediately take steps to expose her to section 8 housing as being someone who is not qualified for it. She's legally married, there is no legal separation, and she has a home she could be in.

Look into that.

I don't know the rules, but I'm sure that demonstrating that she has a perfectly viable home she should be in is important.

You can do what is call a wellness check with the police. You contact them and let them know that you're concerned about your son because you haven't heard from him in a few days and they'll check on him.

You should also take pictures of your home and your neighborhood and do the same for hers. Show the contrast and then present these as evidence and proof that it is better for your son to be in your care in your area versus section 8 housing.

Take pictures of the bad parts of the housing area and anything which stands out as unsanitary, dangerous, or gross.

Show your area as contrast to that.

Best of luck. Seriously. I know how painful it is to go through what you're going through.

Justice will prevail.

Here is the thread:

Eph525's story

It was about 3 weeks and it was over the Christmas and New Years holiday as well. Of course, his WW also took the children across state lines to her mother's house as well.