Kinda figures that was the way to go. I will use the "somebody saw you" line if that stuff comes up.

What specifically did you buy? I'm looking for something similar.

Motorola model i425e. It was $15 with $5 free airtime. The gps is included I think. I will have to check my billing later today.

Be careful though. Is this okay to do?

Not sure.

huh?

Left a dvr running while I was gone last night.

Ws work will review the situation this week.

OMs parents are not happy about what he is doing. He told them our marriage is over.

OM was with my W shopping on Saturday.

Some of OMs family feels sorry for my W. Some of them are not to happy.

She mentioned that our kids know....but she doesn't seem to be phased by it.

Everyone that knows about the letters seems to think it was crazy.

Still got more to review

Carp, this is one reason it is a good idea to have a conversation with the OM's parents. He has lied to them to minimize the situation. If you spoke to them you could clear up the lies and ask for their help.

Even so, I suspect your wife has become so entitled and so brazen that it will take legal action and a dark Plan B to blast this affair. She feels fully entitled to carry on her affair from your home and is quite brazen about it.

Yup to all of it!!

I'm butten in here, I just wanted to say good luck and I am sorry you have to go through all of this.
don't disclose how you got your information.

Definitely will never disclose. I will probably say that one of our friends saw them at the store yesterday.

ok, I just didn't want you to disclose where your info came from, it just makes them go more underground with the behavior, even when you say someone saw them, they still go underground, see if you can get away with "cause I know" if you have something tangible that can't be denied then they know you know for sure, am I making sense? geesh I confuse myself sometimes.

I like MM's advice to you..

WW: How do you know?

You: "You are my wife, I know everything you do."

She'll wonder whether someone saw her. Or whether you have someone following her. Let her wonder.

Also, I like the other advice MM gave you about telling her when the kids ask where she is you reply "she's w/ the OM."

That way, she will start telling you where she is going and w/ whom she will be w/. No more,"It's none of your business." crap. Of course she will lie when she is w/ OM, but you will find out about it and let her know you know.

You are getting good intel... you are finding out where the weak spots are. It is important to your WW that OM's family accepts her. So definitely call OM's parents and ask them to help you.

I confronted W about the shopping trip. She was really angry. She was in the bathroom and tried to close the door. I told her she could when I was done talking. She spouted off about privacy etc. I had my dvr in my pocket the whole time just incase. She actually called the police!!
Cops come and chat with me outside and her inside. I tell them I recorded the whole thing if they wanted to hear..they declined. I told them what was happening as far as the A and the D proceedings. They ask me I had somewhere to go for the night...I said not really. We agreed that W would leave for a few hours and the so would I after that.

W comes back from shopping and I tell her I am leaving for a few hours.
She starts in with the following.

Me...I will be back in a few hours
Her....he said that you agreed to come back tomorrow.
Me....I said I never agreed to that we can call them back if you want I don't have any problem with that nobody has any rite to make anybody leave.
Her...everything is crazy around here and it is gonna end in the next few days
Me...I couldn't agree more
Her....I can do wahtever I want to in my own house....whatever I want
Me....as long as you act respectful and mature I cannot disagree
Her....I don't have to give you any respect. I respect my children and that's why she puts up with every single torturous thing you are doing to me
Me...I am not torturing anybody
Her.....yes you are
Me....I am only doing what is rite
Her....yes you are you are mentally torturing me
Me....you can leave I haven't said that you can't leave
Her....that's fine the girls and I will leave while you are gone
Me...I am not agreeing to that
Her....it doesn't matter you don't have to agree
Me.....I am just telling you I do not agree
Her....whatever you say you do not have to agree
Her.....once things are settled and done you will get the same visitation we agreed on
Me....rite every other weekend for you and all that stuff that's laid out in the papers. Until then everybody lives here.
Her...I mean it. I feel unsafe being here and I am worried about my children safety I'm leaving.
Me....you can leave
Her.....I'm leaving and I'm taking them with me
Me...then I will see you tomorrow in court
Her...for what. I'm their mother
Me....status quo
Me....I didn't threaten anybody
Her.....they and 2 therapists that have dealt with me personally agree that it's best for them to not be in this household with you
Me.... I agree it's not best for all four of us to be here rite now but you don't want to leave
Her....they and I are leaving. I am taking my children and leaving
Me....then I will see you in court tomorrow.
Her....try that
Me....I don't have to try
Her.....you can't do chit your so full of it you can't do anything. The reason your doing half of the things your doing is because you are set in your place and your not going to get them and your not going to get the things that you want
Me...if we are gonna talk like this we need to go outside
Her...asks D to leave other room and go upstairs
Her....why are you pulling all these desperate desperate things because you are unstable and you are having a hard time dealing with how things are actually going to be
Me...I am not having a hard time dealing with it
Her.... That's why you do the things that you do
Me.... I made a plan and I am following my plan
Her... Your last ditch desperate effort
Me....there's nothing desperate
Her...you don't believe that there is nothing desperate but everybody else everybody
Me.....everyone who?? People that enable people to have affairs? I don't take what those people say with a grain of salt.
Her....my family....certain members of your family and the therapists and her lawyer
Me....when 1 of them comes up to me and says I don't think you should have done that I think you are desperate then ok. But so far I have had no one but chicken [censored] say let your wife go and I tell them she won't go.
Her....because I'm told legally me and the children have to stay until it's time to go
Me....rite that's what I have been told I cannot force you to leave
Her...no you can't
Me...whatever I'm doing for me and the kids is fine
Her....but the mental torture that your doing to me I have basis now
Me....I am not mentally torturing you
Her...I has basis to leave
Me....then you can leave
Her....and take them with me I am worried about their mental health
Me...I am too I worried about them being exposed to him and the way you are doing things and the moral decisions you are making
Her....I am not doing anything bad and because you are not with me is the one problem
Me...no just the things that they will be exposed to are bothering me
Her....well too bad the bottom line in the way that the courts work is that they go with their mother
Me....then I will see you in court. I will stay out till after 8pm I won't deny your time here that's fine
Her....that's fine I am going to visit sick family this evening
Me...let me have their name and phone number
Her...my grandma
Me...I will call and ask if you are there
Her...no problem
Me....the kids have school tomorrow so they have to be back
Her...rite they will be back in the morning and they will go to school
Me...that's rite and I will be here when you get here
Her...your gonna take off work tomorrow
Me....I have to make sure they go to schoolbexause I don't know if you will come back
Her....rite
Me...see it works both ways
Her...your playing games
Me...there is no game
Her....you are playing the game you are mentally unstable
Me....I am not unstable
Her...you have got a disassociative personality rite now
Me...A what
Her...you are only going to a certain degree of reality you are not processing anything properly
Me...I know all the reality
Her...no your not
Me....according to who? You? A person who's been living a fantasy for over a year?
Her....she names our MC her IC the kids C
Me...ok
Her....it's it's it's upsetting
Me....your rite it's terribly upsetting to me to have to live with what your doing to us everyday
Her....I am doing nothing to my children my children are aware of everything that I am doing and the reasons why I am doing them
Me....it's terrible that I am gonna have to deal with the fallout from what your doing for the rest of their lives
Her....your dealing with the fallout of your psychosis
Me....I don't have any psychosis
Her....mocking my yelling up to the kids to see if they wanted to go shopping with her earlier.
Me ...I was just yelling to them to see if they wanted to go with you
Her....ok then you say we can all go together lime a family
Me...that's fine
Her...we aren't a family anymore I am not any part of your life
Me....you are still my wife but you can leave the parts that you don't want anymore
Her.....the parts that I want are going with me.
Me....you still have all the legal rights that you have and that's not gonna change
Her...that's rite and their mine and their going to be with me and you play this game with me all the time and I'm already feeding the dog too much I done talking to you
Me...that's fine I don't have anything else to talk about
Her...something about my dilusions(sp?)
Me....there no dilusions you are a cheater and a liar (bad?)
Her... I hate you and that's why I don't wanna be with you
Me...that's fine. Like I told your uncle she won't leave.
Her....because your nuts. What's the next thing you are gonna do show up at my work with a gun tomorrow?
Me...no
Her....there are a lotta people worried about your instability
Me...then they can come here and talk to me if they got the balls or call me
Her...you mean writing letters is balls? Going on the Internet is ballsy? You have never picked up the telephone 1 time to confront the person who you think is causing this problem
Me....I don't need to pick up the phone when I see him in court as well
Her...you never actually stood and did enough enough to actually accuse me of all this back door bullchit
Me....there is no backdoor bullchit
Her...really? Where do you get all your info? Looking thru my stuff?
Me...what info?
Her...I don't know all the info you have all the time? Someone saw us shopping? Where?
Me...it's my job as a husband to know
Her....Wow mmmhmmm sure they did
We chat about her locking her keys in her car yesterday and how she got in it etc
Her....you have absolutely nothing but a psychotic last minute scramble
Me...I don't need anything
Her...to try to save. You honestly think I want you? That the things that your doing are going to 1 day click in my head and I am gonna say all these psychotic damaging things that he did to me wow he must really love me
Me...almost like the psychotic damaging things you did to our family for years why would I take you back
Her....it's years now
Me....July 2007 we are going over 1 year why would I take you back
Her....I've done (mumble) your the one doing this because you want me back that's what you told my friends yesterday that's what you told me new years eve
Me....there's always a chance
Her....there is never a chance
Me....for you there won't be and that's the way you are gonna think and that's fine and like I said I am gonna do everything I can for my family and myself and there is nothing else I can do. If you don't want a part of that that's fine
Her.....I never ever if a looking at you this much that that I have to deal with you makes me physically Ill
Me....yes I know the feeling exactly
Her....it makes me physically sick
Me....I know I know exactly how it feels
Her....because you are so sick and unstable in your head
Me....I know how that feels I look at you and I have the same feelings. The feelings are mutual you can't imagine that they are not. I will be back later and you will be? If your going somewhere you gotta leave me a note or something
Her....why? This is my house I am your wife I don't have to tell you where I am going
Me.....well ya know secrets aren't good for a marriage
Her....loony laugh
Me....well there aren't very many secrets anymore
Her...whatever you say


11 min conversation
I am out and about and will call home around 8 to see who is there and then go home.

I hope he has his computer password protected so she doesn't come here and find this.

Carp, can I suggest that you stop arguing with an insane woman? That is getting you absolutely nowhere.

Mel
I have never made 1 post from our family PC!

Wasn't really argueing. I was calm, I never yelled.

There was no need to CONFRONT her.

You already know she's having an A. All you needed to do was tell her you knew she went shopping w/OM.

Not allowing her to close the bathroom door was a bad idea.

Defintely not part of Plan A.

Carp, my friend, that was an argument. And a complete waste of time. Never argue with an insane person!

True Mel. My plan A looks more like plan "stick it yer face carp".

Her strategy is clearly to show you as being mentally ill or at least dangerous. Be careful!! The bathroom deal will be used in court...not good. She might use the police info for a restraining order to keep you out of the house and/or away from her and the kids. Make sure your lawyer is up to speed.