I’m 40 years old. I’ve been divorced for 6 years. I haven’t dated much. I have done internet dating. Although it has generated a lot of dates, they usually don’t make it passed the 2nd date. I’ve dated 2 guys lasting 2 months each which is the longest I’ve ever dated anyone in the last 6 years. I’ve been raising kids for 16 years. I don’t go out much. I am financially secure. I’m confident. I think I’m attractive. I don’t know why I’m still single. I am happily single and not willing to settle. So far, the one’s I’m interested in, are not interested in me and the one’s that are interested in me, I’m not interested in. I’m not picky. All I’m looking for is a guy who has integrity, loves the Lord and who is interested in me. I’m not picky when it comes to appearances but there is a chemistry you have with some and not with others. Recently I’ve decided to be a little more aggressive. I use to never initiate a date. In the past month, I’ve asked 2 guys out for coffee. They had excuses which I know means they are not interested in me. It doesn’t hurt my feelings I just move on. When I was first divorced, I was interested in one guy for about 2 years wondering and hoping and wishing he would like me back. I asked him once if he thought we would ever be more than friends and he said no. I don’t want to go back to that pattern. So, I think, my plan for 2009 is to just ask, and ask and ask, not for marriage, but for coffee dates. I don’t think I’m desperate, I’m just looking for a change and trying something new and different to get a different result. I think I’m at a secure happy place in life, anyone think I’m in denial? What’s your take on my situation?

Sounds like a good way to change things up to me!!!

Let us know how it works for you!!!! I'd be interested to know!!!

Dawn

I think dating is hard. How about just looking for friends, and see what comes from that? What things have you always wanted to do but never tried? Hobby, sport, club, volunteer choice? Start something new this year that you love to do, and you're likely to find someone while doing those things, and they'll share the same interests.

What a great New Year's resolution!

I love cat's ideas, and here we have yet another great one from her. Instead of asking a guy out to coffee just out of the blue, (well you could do that as well if there's someone and you feel there may be something there) join a club or something where you meet ppl and make friends. Like, I knew a whole bunch of folks where I used to live, who were into climbing. So, if I wanted to meet people I would probably get in shape first (!!!) and then start going to their indoor practices, then go with them on an outing. Carpool with a bunch of folks. Develop friendships in a more relaxed manner because the focus is on the activity rather than sort of interviewing for a relationship; plus there's a lot of people around, it isn't one-on-one, and you will find you gravitate toward certain people in the group.

Some other ideas I'll just throw out there: dog classes, cooking and art classes, join a band if you play or sing. You can check local community colleges for adult education courses, the public library, the newspaper, and as cat just recently suggested to me ( ) the local chamber of commerce. It depends of course on where you are and what you're into. A friend once suggested that one way to get to know more people is to become a regular at a particular restaurant or bar, and get to know the staff there. Not only will you make new friends with them (and other regular customers) but they may also know other people to introduce you to. I'm sure that would also work at coffeeshops, bookshops, etc.

(Actually, I should prolly take notes of what I've just written, since cat and others have been urging me to get out and make more (platonic women!!) friends!)

Best of luck!

Have you gotten envolved in hobbies that men like to participate in.

Internet dating is either you like what their picture and or you like their picture.

Joining a club or activity brings you in contact where you can get to know them and them you as a person. I think the personal touch would help better to make a connection then just a photo.