My wife had sex with the OP in the back seat of her Grand Prix. It is our family car to. Ever time I see it reminds me of what happenened and I start picturing what went on. I Have not even drove the car since I found out. The problem is my Dad has the loan on it because of our credit right now. It makes it hard to try and sale it or trade it because it is in his name. Do you think it is something that I will get used to or should I try to get rid of? What do you guys think?

I would get rid of it. Every time you see it, you will be triggered.

But you do have bigger problems because your wife SEES the OM every day at work.

Yuck. OM's DNA all over the place. Get rid of it.

Hmmmm.... bad situation since it's technically not yours and isn't paid for. How about changing out the seats? Shouldn't cost more than a few hundred from a local scrap yard plus a few hours to install with simple hand tools. Good time to upgrade to leather if you don't have leather seats already!

Depending on the year and condition of the paint, you could give it a quick paint job as well, changing the color. Just a few thoughts!

T

nxs, I am not suggesting you sell it without his knowledge! Of course you would get his approval and plan to pay off the loan that is in his name. Take it down to the car dealership and see what they will give on trade-in. If it is enough to pay off the note, then ask your dad to sign a note on a new car.

I sold both vehicles I drove as fast as possible. My wife triggered everytime she rode in one of them as she knew OW had sat in HER seat.

Be creative and find a way to get it out of your sight.
Trade cars with a friend that knows the situation until you can get it sold. Do something, anything, but get rid of that car ASAP.

Yes I have talked to him about it. The problem is with the market right now I now I am upside down. I may just have to take the loss. I don't think I will ever get over seeing the car, with out it bringing up bad memories.

I recommend you take the loss and move past this terrible trigger. Sorry you you are the one cleaning up the awful mess your WW created.

Don't trade it in!!! Sell it yourself...you will get more. There will still be $$$ left you owe if you are upside down but alot less than if iy trade it in. Don't make this any worse financially than you have to. Talk to the bank.

InLikeFlynn,

I wish money were the only issue here. The trauma of seeing this car for even one more day is the main issue at hand.

During my A, I moved out and proceeded to completely furnish a 3 bedroom apartment. I know :RollieEyes: Anyway, When SMB and I reconciled and I moved back home (upon the advice of many here on MB ) we had several people clear everything out and donated it ALL to Goodwill. Huge financial loss? Not really..still alot of money to donate.....but, it was not about money, or about things we might have wanted to keep.

It was all about protecting ourselves from triggers and doing whatever it took to restore our marriage.
Removing any and ALL triggers regardless of the financial costs. We even sold 2 vehicles ASAP - At A Loss! Neither of us were resentful either, as we both agreed this was the best course of action for the circumstances (POJA).

In the long run we have gained MUCH more that far out weighs the financial loss, especially when you consider the alternatives... divorce, which would force the selling of everything and HUGE financial losses in the process, Or, continue triggering everyday and delay and/or prevent the marriage from recovering.

That would be exactly right except he said that money was an issue.

rsf, the issue brought up by nxs was whether to keep or to get rid of the car, as quoted below. So I'm not sure what your point is, as I thought I addressed the money issue as well? I don't think nxs is so shallow that this small, short term loss of money in any way compares to the state of his recovery and the recovery of the marriage.

I just meant this part right here. Seems like he will take the loss if he has to but that it is a concern, that is all.

You are both right. I need to get rid of the car asap.

Is the note with a bank or credit union? If so, talk to them or whoever about signing anote for the difference and sell it for a great price. A dealership will give you like 2k for a 5k car but you could sell that same car for 3500 pretty quick.

You won't force the issue of your WW going NC with the OM at work. If you can handle your WW working with the OM and her seeing him every day. Then you can handle seeing the OM DNA stained upholstery in your WW's lovemobile.

I would vote for a new job and new car. These two things should be deal breakers for any BH.