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A little over 3 and 1/2 years ago I was run down by a hit and run driver. Grievious injuries. He came back several times to see if I was still alive. Even said he was sorry and would do whatever it took to help me. When I couldn't get up and walk away by myself without assistance, he would drive away. The last time he stopped to check on me I was finally able to stand on my own. So, he ran me down again... and left me for dead this time. He was more concerned about the damage I had done to his vehicle.
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health...
It was all a lie.
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WOW, B...
What precipitated these THOUGHTS?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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You've made a MIRACULOUS RECOVERY!!
You're not only STANDING ON YOUR OWN..I BELIEVE you can FLY..I BELIEVE you can TOUCH THE SKY...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Me:BS40
WXH:42
DD15; DS13; DD6
D-day:6/30/08 & 10/25/08
WH moved out 9/15/08
D: 1/15/10
"So take that look out of here, it doesn't fit you, because it's happened, doesn't mean you've been discarded." -- Big Country from "In a Big Country."
"Keep calm and carry on." -- Winston Churchill
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A little over 3 and 1/2 years ago I was run down by a hit and run driver. Grievious injuries. He came back several times to see if I was still alive. Even said he was sorry and would do whatever it took to help me. When I couldn't get up and walk away by myself without assistance, he would drive away. The last time he stopped to check on me I was finally able to stand on my own. So, he ran me down again... and left me for dead this time. He was more concerned about the damage I had done to his vehicle.
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health...
It was all a lie. You've got the New Years Blues, I think. Go outside and scream. Then a hot bath. Then sleep.
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Maybe it is my mindfulness practice. I don't know.
My ex is still coming over and trying to be "friends".
He came by tonight with take-out Chinese dinner - my favorite. I see that my old husband is back, but I'm just done.
My gentleman caller is still away working - it has been 5 months now.
And my son is going through infidelity by his fiancee, and SHE won't let him go.
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WE suffer from PTSD, Believer.
You are being TRIGGERED by that HIT AND RUN DRIVER...MEMORIES of the TRAUMA..
It's NOT GOOD if YOUR HUSBAND is back.
MY HUSBAND didn't come back.
MY RECOVERED HUSBAND is NOT the SAME HUSBAND.
I was ASSURED that he was SAFE for ME....
AND you are not offered the OPPORTUNITY for REPAIR from the TRIGGERS with your FRIEND being gone..
That's NOT GOOD that he is away...
YOUR LOVE BANK needs filling...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Your son's experience is an additional TRIGGER...
FIND SOME JOY to add to your life...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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((((HUGS))))
If you sent the first post on this thread in a card to your Ex - would he "get it"? Would he finally leave you be?
I think he needs some openness and honesty from you so that he can get on with his own life and let you get on with yours.
You have moved on. You have a life that is free of him, if he knew there's no going back.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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(((((((((B)))))))))))) I'm sorry about this....though can I add that I actually LOVE the analogy you give....lessons from Mark????....  anywho, don't have anything to add, just I love ya honey.... not2fun
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From the MINDFUL perspective, are you trying to MAKE SENSE of it..get some CLARITY in your MIND about what happened with your ex???..or about what is going on with him NOW?
For some reason, you haven't been able to MOVE ON although you SAY that you are DONE.
There seems to be SOMETHING that you are missing..something that you are searching for...
For some reason, you REALLY are not FINISHED..
or else, it seems that you would not keep on letting him IN...
You haven't been able to set that BOUNDARY with him.
WHAT IS IT, B?
THINK ON IT...
I've been doing lots of THINKING about my husband's affair and NOW lots of stuff is getting CLEARER to ME and making SENSE...and NOW..it HURTS hardly at all...
I see IT for what it IS..what it WAS...it's THERE..but can't HURT ME anymore...'cause I UNDERSTAND IT...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Maybe it is my mindfulness practice. I don't know.
My ex is still coming over and trying to be "friends".
He came by tonight with take-out Chinese dinner - my favorite. I see that my old husband is back, but I'm just done.
My gentleman caller is still away working - it has been 5 months now.
And my son is going through infidelity by his fiancee, and SHE won't let him go.  Believer. Have you tried telling him you dont want to be friends? Can you call your gentleman caller and get some long distance need filling?
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Believer.
Have you tried telling him you dont want to be friends? She has told him that she is "DONE" and has written him a letter. Believer, didn't you and Schoolbus have a long discussion about this a while back?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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Believer I had a boyfriend like that WHO AFTER I BROKE UP WITH HIM CAME OVER AGAIN AND again. He would not quit. A "letter" did no good. With these type you cannot talk to them or let them call you.
1. Don't call them
2. Get caller ID and do not answer when they call you
3. When they knock on your door (and they will) do not let them in or talk with them. Go dark in your home.
4. Block thier e-mails
5. Any gifts they send or bring, refuse.
Please no matter how down or lonely you are do not let this man back into your life. The only way to not let him back in is to follow numbers one to four above.
YOU GOTTA BE STRONG, GIRL!!!
Last edited by Stellakat; 01/04/09 03:10 AM.
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yeah, what she said  Plan B him Believer, but not like last time, with getting pics taken and stuff
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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B ---
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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By the way.....are you SURE you are DONE with him? Don't beat me up....just asking the question. I've wondered this for some time now. Think about it...
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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