Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 76 of 136 1 2 74 75 76 77 78 135 136
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Hmmm makes sense to me.

So I can see that it might take a bit longer, because he figures you'll cave eventually... he may think that with there being one tactic, then another, then another, that may be why he thinks this is just another game. He'll eventually see that it isn't, that this is for real.

Which reminds me, are you making changes in yourself that you want to make? Changes you want to make for yourself... and also possibly changes that he would've liked? For example, (I hope it's ok that I tell this?) Lil said Flick used to complain that she wasn't "friendly". Yeah I know... crazy but that was one of his complaints. So, for herself and also as part of working to eliminate LBs, she went out and made friends, got involved in motorcycles etc., which increased her happiness and also made Flick desire her more.

You're dark now of course, but you could still be working on becoming that hot attractive woman you wanna be.

I gotta admit, I feel a bit silly telling you that, cus you ALREADY ARE an awesome hot attractive woman! But do you have plans, things you always wanted to do? Are you keeping socially active with friends? If he finds out anything about you, you want it to be that you are having a great life without him, that you are desirable and not just sitting around waiting for him; and that these changes are for real, not just a ploy to get him back.

Sorry, I think I rambled. I hope I made sense. You are already awesome so I feel silly suggesting you improve! I hope you KWIM.


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Quote
For example, (I hope it's ok that I tell this?) Lil said Flick used to complain that she wasn't "friendly".

No worries.

And you know what is funny now??? He complains because a) I have friends and he doesnt really (locally) in fact he told someone he is treated a bit like a leaper, and B) that I have always had more friends than him.

Just another example of untrue fogbabble that is revealed when exposed to the light


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Nuttin' but a HUGE sucking sound as everything that goes in, gets sucked into a wormhole and spewed into another galaxy.

(see that, Char....snarkasam AND the ablity to wrap a ST analogy into the convo!...Texans are GOOD!)

rotflmao

Heck yeah we are!!

wink

Charlotte

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,016
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,016
Well one of his complaints was I didn't listen so I worked really hard and 180'd as best I could during PA. He never complained about SF as I never denied but i never initiated so that's why I pursued him during PA and did the whole lap dance thing.

He never really complained too much to me. He said I was naive on occasions if I didn't agree.

He was talking to the secretary at the corporate office 2 weeks after dday(she told me the convo) he complained that I was perfect and beautiful and everyone loves me and she looked at him kinda shocked and said well okay Mr. T2L what is the problem and he says in complete exasperation IDK!

What do you do in that case? I did work overtime to make him happy and do everything absolutely everything so he was comfortable and happy. Lot a good that did eh?

Jayneypooh!
Hmm trying to think what else he could have complained about....I'll have to think.

I think he knows that T2L is a people pleaser and I like when everyone is happy even if its at the cost of my happiness but I felt happy when everyone was happy. So in a weird way PB is good in showing him that I am stronger than he thinks and I am not going to people please. I have always told him how much I loved him and that I couldn't live with out him so PB is showing him that I can get along with out him. Does that count even tho he didnt complain about it?

Um, he hated my healthy ways-eating good, taking vitamins, exercising and avoiding sugar.

He did not love going to church as much as I did and wanted to take more breaks, so DD17 did tell him that I have taken a few weeks off. My Pastor actually thought the leak to him might be good since he had previously said that.

Can't really think of much else.


Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,016
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,016
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
[quote=Dealan-de]


(see that, Char....snarkasam AND the ablity to wrap a ST analogy into the convo!...Texans are GOOD!)

rotflmao

Can someone please translate what the heck that means? LOL


Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN TEXAS

~ A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas

~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas .

~ If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

~ 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

~ There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.

~ Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

~ "Backwards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."

~ The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

~ You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

~ You measure distance in minutes.

~ You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

~ You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

~ The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

~ You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

~ Fried catfish is the other white meat.


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Hey T2L, well I have been up really late yet again tonight. I had an off day today. Worried about going back to work and dealing with all of this. Husband is in Las Vegas with the OW. really sucks.
Everything still quiet at your house. Thinking of you. Could use some of your strength this week.
Keep praying for each other. Stay strong


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
Originally Posted by lildoggie
THINGS LEARNED LIVING IN TEXAS

~ 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

~ There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.

~ Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

~ "Backwards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."

~ The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

~ You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

~ You measure distance in minutes.

~ You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

~ You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

~ The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

~ Fried catfish is the other white meat.

Haha, I learned this growing up in TN! Must be a Southern thang smile


You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
VERVE!!!!!!!!!!! Are you a VOL?????? ME TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray

Well, bawn in nawth Jawja, gruhp in east Tinuhsee. Which state are you from: East, Middle, or West Tn?

With all these Texans, I was starting to think they were the only southerners around. I was reading that list and thinkin, "That ain't just Texans!" Well except the bit about everything that grows'll stick ya and everything that crawls'll bite ya.

I thought Oz cornered the market on poisonous spiders and snakes.

Quote
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

I *SWEAR* that's how you tell the difference between Yankees and Southerners. Go through any drive-through and when they ask what you want to drink, just say "tea". If you get iced tea that had the sugar added whilst still hot so as to get it supersaturated, you are south of the Mason-Dixon line. Seriously, though, drive north from North carolina, and go through the first fast-food restaurant after crossing the M-D line, and ask for "tea". You will get iced tea that has nary a cube of sugar.

Keep going north. When you cross over into Canada, if you ask for "tea" you will get a cup of hot tea. :MrEEk: If you ask for "ice tea" you will get a powdered Lipton drink mix that will have lemon and sugar flavoring. sick


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Re: Tea, american.

Eww.

I have Dilmah Ceylon tea. Milk, no sugar. Hot.

Cold. Eww.
Sugar. Eww.
Lemon. Eww.


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Quote
I think he knows that T2L is a people pleaser and I like when everyone is happy even if its at the cost of my happiness but I felt happy when everyone was happy. So in a weird way PB is good in showing him that I am stronger than he thinks and I am not going to people please. I have always told him how much I loved him and that I couldn't live with out him so PB is showing him that I can get along with out him. Does that count even tho he didnt complain about it?

That absolutely counts!!! He will see soon enough that these changes are for real, you really are strong, you aren't gonna cave just cus he complains or disapproves or gets angry.

I don't suggest you get fat and frumpy, stop going to church, eat cake and ice cream every night, and live in a pigsty just because he "complained" that you were perfect. crazy

You are awesome, lady. If he's lucky he'll smarten up. You'll be ok either way.


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Originally Posted by lildoggie
Re: Tea, american.

Eww.

I have Dilmah Ceylon tea. Milk, no sugar. Hot.

Cold. Eww.
Sugar. Eww.
Lemon. Eww.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I had a Yankee friend who never liked ice tea, only hot tea... until she came down south and tasted REAL tea. The reason ice tea doesn't taste good is cus Y'ALL DON'T PUT ENOUGH SUGAR IN IT!!!!!

I remember as a kid... tea was always the drink served with supper. In tall glasses, with teaspoons. You can barely find teaspoons anymore. I don't mean coffee spoons, those spoons that fit in a coffee cup and are smaller than soup spoons. I mean, long-handled spoons that will reach to the bottom of a long tall glass, so you can stir up all the sugar that sedimented out, between each sip.



me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
Originally Posted by jayne241
VERVE!!!!!!!!!!! Are you a VOL?????? ME TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray

Well, bawn in nawth Jawja, gruhp in east Tinuhsee. Which state are you from: East, Middle, or West Tn?

I'm an East Tennessean baby!!!! I BLEED orange (and if I didn't my family would make sure that I did...bleed that is haha!). I absolutely love and I'm proud of (and to be from) my southern family. We don't have the same views on things, but I was raised well...lemme tell ya!

Originally Posted by jayne241
I thought Oz cornered the market on poisonous spiders and snakes.
OMG, I nearly had tea (how appropriate) come out of my nose when I read this! Too funny and oh-so-true!

As for the tea thing...you gotta have sugar with the tea. I also like a little lemon, but lots and lots of sugar. No hot tea or unsweetened for me. I also like Sun tea...yum. There's nothing like a glass of iced tea dripping condensation on a sultry summer day in the south. Say that last part three times real fast!


You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Sorry, but I just gotta puke

My nana always put sugar in my tea when I was little and stayed with her. I used to wait until she was watching telly and then tip it down the sink.

Ick, ick, ick


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
Originally Posted by jayne241
You can barely find teaspoons anymore. I don't mean coffee spoons, those spoons that fit in a coffee cup and are smaller than soup spoons. I mean, long-handled spoons that will reach to the bottom of a long tall glass, so you can stir up all the sugar that sedimented out, between each sip.

OMG, I know! I can't find those anywhere...well other than my great aunt's and my Nanny's (grandmother's) kitchen. We also used those to eat cornbread and milk. Have you had that? Get an ice cold glass of milk and crumble cornbread in it...yum! You could scoop it out with a teaspoon and it was all soggy and full of milky goodness. Man, I need to make that for my kiddos. It just reminds me of sitting on the porch with my grandmother and helping her shell green beans. Craziness...


You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
I am a displaced East Coast girl that landed in Texas 2.5 years ago. I am an outcast because I do not drink cold or hot Tea. Give me coffee.
If you are wondering why so many Texans are on this board is that 55% of marriages in Texas end in Divorce. If I knew that I never would have moved here (can't blame the state only the man).


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
I had to ask T2L what sun tea was.
She told me
THAT is digusting!

I am bringing my own tea bags over with me.

You are not allowed to touch it. Any of you.


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
I would slip some good ole sugary tea in your cup when you weren't looking then point and laugh when you spit it out. Hahah



You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,553
Originally Posted by hope3343
I am a displaced East Coast girl that landed in Texas 2.5 years ago. I am an outcast because I do not drink cold or hot Tea. Give me coffee.

Uh oh! I bet it was major culture shock huh?


You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.

I pity the fool. - Mr. T
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Oh yes!!! Did y'all have a little iron thing to bake cornbread so it looks like little corncobs?

Lil, this tea in which you didn't like sugar... was it perchance *hot*???

And if you ain't never been outside in weather so hot that your bike tire will explode on the asphalt, then you don't appreciate the necessity of an ICE COLD DRINK with enough caffeine and sugar to keep body and soul together.

Seriously, one time in NC I was riding in a 100-mile bike ride, it just happened to be in the middle of a heat wave. A heat wave. In NC, in July... as if NC in July wasn't hot enough on its own. A whole bunch of folks had tires blow out. We finally figured out, it was the heat.

I'm a wuss now. When we're in the South in summer, my H is more able to handle the heat than me. I just don't get it. He also likes it colder than me in the winter.

But I've converted him, he now likes collard greens, fried okra, sweet potato casserole, .....


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Page 76 of 136 1 2 74 75 76 77 78 135 136

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 153 guests, and 130 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Ardent Center, Lost@1969, Jmoor9090, Confused1980, Bibbyryan860
71,843 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5