Here is a post to my story.

I exposed the A to our 26yo son who called my WS and told him how disappointed the he was in his mother. Soon after I received a phone call and she was crying, how could you?, I thought you would have never told the children. I said that he called and I was upset and I told him. She agreed to meet with me so we could discuss this face-to-face.

We met and I told her that she needs to severe all contact with the OM if we have any chance of getting help through therapy. I said that her mother had an epiphany and she wanted to get things out in the open. I had been talking to her as well. We drove over to her parents and she exposed the A to her parents. She said that she would stop seeing the OM and I asked her to move back in the house and I would move out.

She was very, very angry at me and said when we were in the room alone that she doesn't think she wants to go through counseling any more. Not after what I did. I said what did I do, you had the A. So that was lip service that you gave your parents? She packed up her stuff from her parents and I helped carry it to her car. She then said, what you did is not going to get you what you wanted and then she speed away.

I am concerned because I don't want her to do anything rash. Did I just drive her straight into the OM arms? Any advice on my next course of action?

If her "relationship" w/ OM is so wonderful, why wouldn't she want the whole world to know about it?


This is what EVERY wayward says after exposure.

She wants to SCARE you so that you won't interfere w/ her A anymore.

Her reaction tells you that the exposure was EXTREMELY effective. Now that your son knows what his mother is doing, her A isn't as much fun as it was.

Your exposure has taken the shine off her A.

Good job!


She will try to get her fix from OM, but it won't be as strong as it was.

Go back and tell her parents what she said. And if there is anyone else you can expose to, do it.

Have you exposed on OM side? Is he M?

Keep up the pressure. And don't apologize for it.

You are trying to save your M.

Also, marriage counseling is a waste of time when one person is in an on going A.

Also, don't move out of your home!!!!

No way!

Editted to add:

What good would it do if she moved back into your home and you moved out?

She will still be free to pursue her A, but w/o the hassle she will get from having to live w/ her parents.

Besides, you need to be in your home taking care of your younger children.

Joseph,

Have you exposed to your other children also? They also need to know what is going on. Good job on telling your 26yr old and WW's mother! As Marshmallow stated, now that others know, the affair isn't so fun for her anymore.


Why would you want to move out of your house? I, personally, don't see a reason for you to do that. It's YOUR home and you've done nothing to warrant moving out.

Joseph, great job!! But you didn't go far enough. it is best to do all the exposures on ONE DAY in one fell swoop. This results in a tsunami effect on the affair and prevents them from getting to others and spinning the truth.

I would call up anyone else TODAY and get it exposed. Your other children, any close relatives, the OM's wife and parents.

Get news of the affair OUT THERE EVERYWHERE! Shine as much light as possible on the VAMPIRE!!

She will be furious, but don't let it scare you. JUST STICK TO YOUR PLAN. Don't allow her to bait you into a fight and don't get upset at her ranting and raving. Just tell her "I am so sorry you are upset. Would you like a potato chip?" Be polite and gentlemanly!

And whatever you do, don't move out of your home. Because if you do, I will personally kick your [censored] into the next state.

And lastly: CALM DOWN! There is nothing to be alarmed about here. You just struck a huge blow against the affair and took the first STEP TOWARDS RECOVERY! Just keep up the pressure and don't allow the angry CRACKHEAD to divert you from your mission, which is: to SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!

GREAT JOB!

p.s. the reason we say don't move out is because it is a STRATEGIC MISTAKE that will hurt your ability to save your marriage. Read this: Men, don't leave your home!

I had made arrangements for my myself to move out and was advised on this site not too.
I followed that advice and I am so thankful that I did.

You need to be there for your kids, help to keep their routine and their life as normal as possible while in this nightmare. Unfortunately your WW will not be able to do this as well as you can right now. You have already indicated they are not her center of attention at present.

Your kids will see how someone who believes in marriage sticks around to fix it and does not flee the scene so to speak.

The downside of staying.....you will have to listen to irrational thoughts which you MUST ignore, otherwise your WS will drag you down and weaken your spirit.

It's really hard not to get sucked into a p*ssing contest and start a huge argument, so expect these irrational thoughts so they don't catch you off guard.

I've not learned everything, but the people that have guided me thus far have been right on target with what to do.

Take care

Vittoria is right.

My first instinct was to kick the WS to the curb and walk out of my house.

Was I ever wrong.

I hung in there. He didn't want the OW. He wanted me. It took no time at all for him to call her up, tell her she was under the next bus.


She's flattened on the highway, somewhere out there.


Our marriage? We're long down that recovery road.

YOU STAY HOME. IF ANYONE GOES ANYWHERE, LET YOUR WW LEAVE.

She'll be back.

Even though it's only Jan 5th, I would like to humbly nominate Ms. Melody for post of the YEAR!

I'm sorry, but ML, you just kick butt in so many ways! Keep it coming here and in other posts...you have been sooooo helpful to me and others!