Hey there Jean! I still come and peek in once and a while, wondering who I may run into?...who's still here?...what can I learn? It's always good to see you. I see that Happyinokla was here too! I always wondered what happened to her. I'm happy to see the love and happiness that has come her way. She shows us hope.

There's been alot of Family Court this year.
From me supervising son and WH visits for the past year to his getting unsupervised visits starting late Nov. He sees son 7 hrs a week. 4 hrs on Wed, and 3 hrs on Sat. So what does he do? He takes son to his gf's on the 2nd visit, and the 3rd. I told him this would be brought up in court next time, I don't approve of him exposing son to his adulterous relationship, knowing this could emotionally hurt our child. I would also have a back ground check done on her. So he stopped. Supervising visits was taking a toll on me, making it harder for me to heal, but I don't think he should have went to unsupervised visits yet. He still tests positive for opiates (although prescribed), he's still an unreasonable mess, and working with him is almost next to impossible. We'll be back in court Jan 12th.

Although the MB program was impossible for my marriage due to WH addictions, the MB principles have helped me change. So I'm thankful and I keep coming back ... there is much wisdom that flows from many here.

Lady

Kim,

Coming from a person with an OC situation let me assure you that taking this man back will only ADD to the pain in your life. He will never completely let go of OW. He WILL lie to you and have contact. The OW WILL use the OC as a pawn to continue the A. It will be a back and forth tug of war with you in the middle. Please don't sign up for more pain from this "man". Kim, protect yourself and your DS from more lies and get out. You have a full life ahead of you. You just don't have the distance to have proper persective. (((Kim)))

Hi everybody.

I am just stopping in to thank you for your posts. I will read them again.

Ya'll are right that the shock of an OC had a lot to do with with my behavior. I am still reeling from it all.

So, I shouldn't let the OW know that WH slept with me? Just let it go.....

I am trying...it is so hard. To give up. I know. He gave up a long time ago. Why is it so hard?

On a postive note - I started a local meet up group for single & separated parents. It is very new and I did it on meetup.com.

I have a group meeting next Saturday for parents & kids at a local skating rink. I have about 7 or 8 parents coming with their kids. I really think this will be good for me and I hope it helps other single parents as well.

My mind is still reeling with the WH, OW, OC thing. I know I shouldn't put it off any longer.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts.

How is that positive?

You are still married.


committed

Committed -

You obviously don't have anything good to say to me. So, please stay off my thread.

The group is positive for me as frankly, I don't have any friends who are primary parents. The group will be positive for my son b/c he will meet other kids and hopefully make new friends.

But I don't have to explain myself to you. You have no idea what my life is like.

Hey Kim,

Have you talked to a lawyer lately? I am hoping you will get something filed soon, especially with the new OC around.

You have to protect yourself and DS. You can keep loving your WH forever, that is your call. You ask why it is so hard... I don't know, I have struggled with that for years. But, there must be some payoff for me, somewhere.

So, go ahead and love him all you want, in your heart. But protect you and yours.

Just something to think about...MAYBE he will grow up and be the man he should have been. IF you were to reconcile (and please...don't think I am advocating for reconcilation with how he is currently) but IF you EVER reconciled, could OW come after your income to support OC? Would your household income be in question or just his chunk?

Please, cover your butt, worry about the lovey dovey crap later.

I think the group sounds good, you are a single parent, regardless of your legal marital status.

I think it is great that you are getting out to be amongst the rest of humankind and hobnobbing with some "grown-ups." (Tongue-in-cheek on that since I don't consider myself one, LOL!) But you know what I mean...getting out and socializing with someone besides your kids and family. Always a good thing!

This is something that's really hard for BS's to do and it is something that they NEED to do, especially after being so dehumanized by WS's.

Good for you, Kim!!

Charlotte

DM,

Socializing outside the kids is a good idea.

I started a local meet up group for single & separated parents.

Is NOT a good thing while a person is still married, imho.

That is what I was saying.

committed

What is the problem if she is roller skating with a group of single parents and their kids.

Kim, do you have a child support order legally in place for DS? If not FILE NOW!!!

So what if she has started a group of single parented families?

She is NOT in plan B-- she SHOULD be in plan C.Y.A..(sound it out).

Everyone is advising that she "take out the trash," and move on in her life. Sounds like she is.

Maybe some poster's think that she will meet a single dad?
BTW---Dr. H recommends you wait at least a few years post divorce/discovery/planB before you "date."

But K234 is not on that track. Best thing that could happen to this lady is for her to RUN like the Roadrunner <meep,meep> while Wandering Wiley Cyotie>sp? can sit on his acme bomb and BLAST himself down the cliff.

Hi -

I have an appt. on the 20th. with a lawyer. I am moving forward on Plan D.

The group has given me a social outlet that has really helped me to see that I can have actually have a life. That I can be happy. I have met some great moms & dads that simply want to meet people who have the same challenges. It is nice to know that I can actually make new friends - Having a relationship with someone is the last thing on my mind.....I am not a healthy girl right now & need to take care of me first.

I can do this.

Thanks you guys for continuing to push me along. And the meet-up group has given me some new confidence....and something else to do besides stay at home.

I like that "take out the trash & move on".....

Kim

I am sitting here crying with relief.

yes, I've finally decided to let myself be happy. It is time...

manalive, it is about time!!

Kimberly,

I'm glad that you have gotten the support that you needed. That is a wonderful thing. I am RELIEVED that you are taking care of yourself and your son. This is not something you WANTED, but it's something, I believe, that you need.