My wife and I have been married for 11.5 years with a daughter when she decided to move out. This was the last of how many moves. Six months later we are still seperated with every contact seemingly making it worst.

We always had problems in our marriage from day one as I wanted to settle down build on our carreers and generally feathering out our nest. She wanted to still enjoy life with friends and family, clubing etc. We could never over the years get to an agreement with the going out thing.

As the years went on family and friends also became part of the problems as she always spend lots of time with them running up huge debts.

Our communication sucked as we can never seem to effectively communicate with each other.

She is in impulsive person I am not everything has to be planned and minimum risk to our future.

What I must say is during the seperation I discovered a lot of my short commings and informed her of my willingness to work not only on these short commings as a short term solution but also for mysself as some of the issues she raised really put me to shame like I would never attemp to accept her friends as she did mine. She would never get angry with my friends as i do with hers and so on ( I just could never accept the idea of clubbing and late nites out with the friends mostly unmarried).

We would plan a lot of things and never stick to those plans. We would agree on something and it won;t happen. For years it went like this.

Now she blames me for always wanting my way when she actually sat down with me and agreed to the things that caused our fights when she did not deliver. Even now that we are seperated she has more time for friends, clubs, and even playing counselor to those with marital problems, whislt not being interested in dealing with our problem.

If only my wife could know how much I love her and that I am prepared to do whatever it takes for our marriage to work unfortunately she does not seem interested as the allure of being young again seems to have gotten the better of her

I feel like we are the having the same issue - but I am really tired of trying to make things work with someone who wants no responsibilities to his family and his children. You should not feel bad for trying to make your life more comfortable. For the past 3.5 years I have been living paycheck to paycheck and to compound the problem, we now have 2 babies - 15 months(D) and 4 months(S) and he is still tryingt o party like he is 21. His partying is making him look older than his years and he has gotten progressively worse over the last year. I can't stand him and wheneverhe tells me he loves me, I grind my teeth, because I don't think that he does - he just loves that I work as hard as i do - I am a teacher - and he can do whatever he damn well pleases, no matter how I feel about it. We only have one car and he will leave out in the morning and I won't get to go anywhere, like a homebound prisoner. Yesterday was the nail in the coffin - he left to do some errands at 8:30 am and didn't come back until 1 am - beligerant and drunk. Get out while you can and see it as a blessing!

Have you read about Plan A/ it's harder to do a good Plan A when you are not living together. But, it can be done. If you want to build a better marriage, post your situation on the General Questions II board. The Harleys have provided this site to give you useful information and the members who post on GQII will willingly help you with your efforts.

Get this....I have just signed up to do my second half-marathon. I am doing it to raise $3000 for Gilda's Club Nashville. Here's the scoop!

My daughter wants to run a half-marathon. I can walk one. We wanted to do it together. Her grandfather has small cell lung cancer. I have lost several friends and loved ones to cancer. This was a natural.