I guess this will be just a little venting process....sorry

Been 12 days of totally dark PB. WAW did try to contact via text, but I ignored and did not respond.

As I have already posted, I really do have a peace in my heart concerning my WAW and her OM.

I guess if I have questions, they would be.....

WAW is RUNNING as fast as she can to end our M and MARRY OM. She continues to live with her grandmother but spends lots of time at OM house. I know this because on the four or five nights that I have my DS, she calls to say nite to him from the OM home phone.

I am only paying bills that are for my home or my stuff. I guess he is supporting her cause she still is not working.

I have exposed, exposed, exposed.....nothing seems to matter to her. She really did not "blow up" when THEY found out. The detective from IA called this past Friday and indicated they have finished their investigation and hinted that "severe disciplanary action" is to follow. Guess OM is to be interviewed this week.

I understand the A may last for a long time, but it sure seems to me that they are grwoing stronger and I think that it is reality that they will marry.

Sorry, I'm like some of the rest of you here, it seems to me that I am doing all the work and dealing with the hurt, all the while WW seems to be living it up. If I did not have God to walk with me through the valley, I am sure that I would be a basket case.....thank you Lord for being my helper.

MB friends, thanks for your continued support....I know I am on the path that God has placed me on!!!

Glad to have you vent... we aim to please.

Just a caution: Plan B is about preserving you love for WAW. Do not be tempted to glean ANY info about her.

Meanwhile, work on you. Build up your family. Socialize. Even if you need tranquilizers to do this.

You know already that only 1% of affairs survive passed the five year mark. Two cheaters together provide their own pressure.

Be prepared for further rollercoaster emotions. Grieving has stages.

God be close to you at this time!

Cave Dark!!


Feeling Good!!

Hello All,
I was just visiting Kayla's Cafe and the most amazing thought occured to me. Should have posted there, but I feel at home here in my thread.

EVERY night my DS12 joins me in quite prayer time. For MY healing I always start off gently signing hymns. For the last week or so, I have had to hold back tears because DS12 has started quietly signing with me. I must confess, as a father, if there is a greater joy than sharing God with your children, I could not fathom what it would be.

For all of us that have been betrayed, we are advised to work on ourselves, find hobbies, etc. in order to heal and adjust to our "new life". I have used that advice and read everything I can find on healing my mind and soul.

My advice, simply dust off the family bible and let God speak to you. Share scripture with your children and surrender all to your God. Pray with them, love them and the peace that with come over you and your children will be unlike any at any time previous in your lives.

During prayer time this morning, I found this scripture that spoke to me. Please allow me to share it with you.

"Don't be afraid;...I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you."
Isaiah 43:1-2

thank you, this is the most amazing way to say it and give G-d his glory.

Kick, you inspire me with your recovery and commitment to allowing G-d in your life and becoming his servant.

:happyholidays:

Queenie,
I appreciate your comments. You are the one that has inspired me. When I first arrived here on my unscheduled flight to hell, I was totally lost. I looked back over my posts and could not even formulate a complete sentence.
I read your thread and thought..."wow", now there is a person who literally is walking her faith. When you walk your faith, there are certinatly going to be days when your faith is tested, emotions flood over you, and old feelings haunt you.

BUT...say a quick prayer thanking God for all he is doing in your life, and keep going....the bible guarantess us that God is holding our hands. We just have to accept His hand.

You are the one that inspires!!

:happyhanukkah: TO YOU!!

Need a little advice please.

Last night, my DS and WAW came by to retrieve my DS overnight bag. Always, WAW stays in the car and respects my plan B.

However, she comes right in the house and catches me off guard. I started to walk away saying please respect my boundaries, but she asked me to hear her out.

She wanted to know if she was able to share Christmas morning with me and DS. I asked DS to give mom and I a minute, and explained to WAW that I wished it could happen, but until she wanted to end her A and abide by my conditions on R, that I could not allow her behavior to enter into our home...EVER.
She also knows that DS and I are planning a weekend visit out of state with my brother and his family and hinted that she "would love to go".

I found myself conflicted not knowing how to respond. I told her that I would give it some thought. I am not sure if this is a continuation of her attempts to eat cake, the pressures of the holidays, or a start of the fog lifting.
What I do know is that I am feeling great in PB and have no desires to R until this madness ends.

What the heck is all this and what the heck do I do? My gut tells me to stay dark and ignore any attempts she throws my way for communication.....?????

Interpreted:

"I really miss cake - can I please share your Christmas cake so I don't feel so bad about choosing OM?"

Ok, Kayla...back to the cafe I go....could you please put out some stale crackers for me to much on....???

lol...thnx!!

Go to plan B and stop feeding WW cake.

Kick, I think Road meant to Plan B the WW, not US.

Where are you? How's the dark these past few days?

Just thinking about you.

Queenie,

I had to laugh at the comment Road gave me. I am totally dark and lovin God. I know exactly what the Road meant, and I made the mistake of thinking that WW would ALWAYS respect my boundaries. If a WS cannot respect YOU, how dumb of me to think they would respect PB and not try to run over that also.

So, Road, I continue on in the dark....thanks for reminding me to STAY there!!

As for me and DS, we are all set for CHRISTmas. He will be with me on the 24th and most of the day on the 25th. He and I will leave on the 26th and visit my brother in TN for the weekend. We both are very excited!!

The holiday season this year has brought to me new emotions. First time in a very long time that I had to do it all by myself. I LOVED it! This is the most difficult time of my life, however, I have shared with you guys the work that God is doing in my life and I have to admit that when I finally GOT IT, my life changed forever.

I know these are just words written by me, but anyone reading this.....please place you sitch in Gods hands and REALLY mean it, the burden will be lifted and you will be able to breathe again.
It is very good to pray, but God wants ALL of your being...commit to be His servant, walk the path that He has ALREADY chosen for you, and your life will change forever. If you don't believe me, then I issue you this challenge.
If you are miserable because you have been betrayed, cant eat, sleep, or even function...willing to try anything....go right now and find a quiet spot ALONE, and just talk to God...tell Him everything on your mind, THEN tell Him everything in your heart. Take all of your hurts, problems, finances, everything too much to carry....imagine wrapping them in a box and GIVE the pretty box to God. He will take your present and will make it His own. Whatta ya got to loose?

Queenie, thanks again for inspiring me! I wish you a very special holiday season. Oh by the way, you're doing fantastic yourself!!! You are the best!!


:happyhanukkah: to you and your family

Rob

Oh....glad you survived the storm....sorry been 80 here most of the week.......lol, have a great Sunday!

You have NOTHING to loose and EVERYTHING to GAIN.

I can't tell you Kick, how vitally important this is for those who are struggling. Because this is EXACTLY what I do, I just talk to G-d, ask him to help me with my problems and give them to him. I still struggle with his timing and maybe still get a little lost on him revealing his plan, but Mark keeps repeating patiently there IS a plan and it will BE revealed in G-D's TIME not MINE.

You are doing so amazing in your walk. What an honor to be here with you and watch it unfold. You can just feel the peace inside becoming more and more a part of you.


:MerryChristmas: and :happynewyear: to your and your family, but I have a feeling that we will talk before then.

80 degrees? Where are you? It's still snowing, in fact I don't think I have ever seen this much snow since I was a little girl in New Jersey. Its gorgeous... I'm glad I don't drive anywhere until Tuesday, unless Believer needs me to do something...

My continued ers for you and your recovery.

Queenie,
Thanks again for your words of encouragement.

I too agree with Mark and understand the meaning of patience.....but, consider this if you will....

I think that TODAY you and I are walking in God's timing for our lives and TODAY we are living God's plan for our lives.
I take comfort in that thought and then I am able to understand that greater things are in store, because I am finally walking in the will of God.


As far as the weather.....I am a central Florida native and would not want to live anywhere else!!

Update for all my MB supporters:

First, I am doing fine. Have the up and down days like everone else, but the good days outnumber the bad ones. God is really working on me and He continues to bless me with His greatness.

I know that 2X4’s are coming but I deserve them. Christmas morning I did invite WAW to join DS and I to participate with us. (DS did not ask, but I could tell that he was very sad without his Mom)

So, after 45 minutes or so, she started to leave and walked over and gave me a hug that included her softly crying for 3 or 4 minutes. During the hugging, I felt the need to tell her that I STILL LOVE HER…..she responded, “I love you too”.

DS and I left early on the 26th for an out of town visit and as we are leaving she comes to tell us bye and of course hugs and tells me love again.

For the four days we were gone, the texting and calling continued usually ending with “love ya”.

Now the kicker…..a distant friend (doesn’t know about my supposedly PB) called and wanted to tell me an interesting story.
His friend was upset because his friend cancelled a weekend fishing trip. Asked why, he told my friend that his friend had to stay home and suck up to his GF so she won’t go back home to her husband. After a few more details of the conversation, my friend heard names, and yes, his friend was referring to OM and my WAW.

So. After returning home, I have gone back to the dark side and have ignored any attempts to be contacted. So far, so good.

So, do I continue (I know, start over) on PB and recognize this all as fog babble and attempts to get back into my bakery, or do I really start thinking along the lines that this could be cracks in the A? Or both??

As a side question....without any prompting from me at all (I promise), DS has indicated that he does not like the OM at all. He told me weeks ago that he would never live with them and would call me if and when that ever happened. I have reassured him that all he has to do is call me if he is ever in an uncomfortable position. Do I sit back and let this all unfold if and when this happens?

Thanks

Happy New Year Kick,

Personally, as hard as it would be, you betcha I would stand back and let it happen and keep my prayers to G-d going absolutely day and night. If it's a crack in the A, you want to be as far away as possible.

You delivered a Plan B letter, right? In it, it stipulated what conditions needed to be met from WW. Don't give in. Let G-d have her and keep working his miracles in your life.

WAY EASIER WRITTEN than done and honestly, I WISH I had some chance to waffle myself...

Stay dark, stay strong, trust G-d, grab some popcorn and watch the movie from afar....

JMHO

Morning Queenie...glad to see you back in the saddle!!

Yes, PBL hand delivered and completely spelled out the conditions of R.

She is still way to "fogged out" to honor my PB. I am trying hard to stay dark, but WW has caught me with my guard down a couple of times. Just have to deal with the situation, and then dissappear again.

I'm not sure what interaction OM has had with my son, but my son has formed his OWN opinion and as we say down south, "it ain't good." If WW tries to move in with her OM the possibilities of DS completely resisting the idea remain great. He has said time and time again that he will not live with them.

I'm trying all I can do to protect his heart and mind....so as a Dad, all I can do is show him my unconditional love and support whatever decision he makes. He is only 12 and this is not fair that he has to deal with this....however, our relationship has never been better!

God continues to bless us both and my strength from the Lord grows everyday!! back to ya

Ok Pros...(Mel, you kinda gave up on me and I need your advice and help) little help and small 2X4's

In the last couple of days my WW has blown the heck out of my PB.

Long story short, the fairy tail affair is unraveling fast. WW has told me in email and phone that she is sorry and wants to end the A. This is the first time she has even acknowledged having an A. It was she was unhappy and left....bla bla bla.

I reinterated all the conditions of a possible R and she says she understands and agrees with most. My PLB letter was pretty clear on conditions.

She is very shaky at this point and all I can say to her is that I will be there for her AFTER she agrees to NC for life.

Not sure if there is anything else I can or should do. She did ask me to "just be there for her".

So....kinda go back to PB and see where this goes....or stay in some contact with her and offer support?

Please add our family to your prayer list. Any help or comments are greatly appreciated!!

I don't see how 'being there for her' will get her to agree to all the conditions? You'll be feeding her. She has to be starving. But I may be wrong.

ok, this more likely means she is NOT READY but your plan B is beginning to work and she needs to get you back on the plantation. She is TESTING to see if she can have you and the OM. She does not want to lose her affair and is testing you to see if she can have you both.

Tell her to give you a call when she ends her affair and to please not contact you until that happens. If you give her "support" then you will be PROPPING UP THE AFFAIR.