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Now, if you go, and the OM shows up there...dont run in and bang on the door and demand an explanation. The hardest thing you will do is to restrain from stopping them. But you must! Why? Because if you do, it will be spun as they are just friends and he came over to have cake and watch a movie...and you are crazy!
The best thing is for you, or a friend or the PI to catch him going in and then note when he leaves. I hired a PI only on the nights I KNEW they would try to be together. So, the PI got there before my wife showed up at the Troll's house, and then snapped photos of her going in. And then in the morning, he snapped photos of the two of them leaving togther. Must have been a long movie, huh??? :RollieEyes: Do this at your own peril. I don't believe letting your wife **edit** another man is a good plan. What sensible other person in your circle of friends or family would believe that lame cake and movie story? **edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 10:29 AM. Reason: TOS - profanity
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iam, Unfortunately, he cant stop her (unless he does something illegal!). Until he actually catches them doing it, they can spin it that they arent doing it! Now, IF they actually go to the parents house, I like the idea of having the recorders inside (or some walkie-talkie that he can listen in and catch them when they most likely will be caught). Unless he does something illegal, he CANNOT stop his wife from doing what she probably has already done. For the future of his marriage and family, he must remain calm and collected...and pursue a plan that works.
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 10:40 AM. Reason: removing quotes
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Now, if you go, and the OM shows up there...dont run in and bang on the door and demand an explanation. The hardest thing you will do is to restrain from stopping them. But you must! Why? Because if you do, it will be spun as they are just friends and he came over to have cake and watch a movie...and you are crazy!
The best thing is for you, or a friend or the PI to catch him going in and then note when he leaves. I hired a PI only on the nights I KNEW they would try to be together. So, the PI got there before my wife showed up at the Troll's house, and then snapped photos of her going in. And then in the morning, he snapped photos of the two of them leaving togther. Must have been a long movie, huh??? :RollieEyes: Do this at your own peril. I don't believe letting your wife eff another man is a good plan. What sensible other person in your circle of friends or family would believe that lame cake and movie story? Don't allow another man to do your wife. iam, Unfortunately, he cant stop her (unless he does something illegal!). Until he actually catches them doing it, they can spin it that they arent doing it! Now, IF they actually go to the parents house, I like the idea of having the recorders inside (or some walkie-talkie that he can listen in and catch them when they most likely will be caught). Unless he does something illegal, he CANNOT stop his wife from doing what she probably has already done. For the future of his marriage and family, he must remain calm and collected...and pursue a plan that works. Showing up at his in-laws 5 minutes after OM gets there is not illegal. Maybe the OM might get a little frightened. Marty, do NOT knowingly let OM have sex with your wife. If you recover and your wife finds out what will she think of you?
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[quote=Mortarman]
Now, if you go, and the OM shows up there...dont run in and bang on the door and demand an explanation. The hardest thing you will do is to restrain from stopping them. But you must! Why? Because if you do, it will be spun as they are just friends and he came over to have cake and watch a movie...and you are crazy!
The best thing is for you, or a friend or the PI to catch him going in and then note when he leaves. I hired a PI only on the nights I KNEW they would try to be together. So, the PI got there before my wife showed up at the Troll's house, and then snapped photos of her going in. And then in the morning, he snapped photos of the two of them leaving togther. Must have been a long movie, huh??? :RollieEyes: **edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 10:30 AM. Reason: TOS - personal attack, profanity
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Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. They want you to pursue the easy way, the weak way, which usually leads to destruction.
I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional! Can you point out where the good doctor tells us to let OM ***edit*** your wife while you sit home eating ice cream?
Last edited by Maverick_mb; 01/08/09 01:29 PM. Reason: STOP bypassing the profanity filter!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[quote=Mortarman]Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional! **edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 10:32 AM. Reason: TOS - harassment
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Don't interrupt the [censored] fest? WTH??   I hope OM didn't show up last night. Marty should have been camped out in front of the house. If OM showed up and he needed "evidence" he could have looked through a windows to see if clothes were coming off, snap a few pics and the pound the fricking door down before it went any further. I can't believe he was adviced to just stand back and let it happen. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional! Can you point out where the good doctor tells us to let OM ***edit*** your wife while you sit home eating ice cream? iam, I can tell you in countless sessions with Steve Harley, as I gathered my intel and exposed...his advice was constantly...do not expose until you have enough evidence to lock her down. Enough evidence where there is no logical response to it. If Marty shows up at the house 5 minutes after the OM, and knocks on the door...nothing good will happen there! And guess what? The OM will still end up having sex with her! That is unless he does something illegal (like bashing the OM's head in...which is always a possiblity when these things happen!). Believe me, in my intel days, I caught them together one night (her at the Troll's house). Being an Army veteran, I was all about kicking the door in, and beating this guy down. It stil lis my favorite dream!  But, there is a higher mission here. And Marty does NOT need to blow it, especially for the sake of his kids. There are things worse than the guy having sex with his wife (which has probably already happened!).
Last edited by Maverick_mb; 01/08/09 01:31 PM. Reason: editing quote
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Don't interrupt the [censored] fest? WTH?? I hope OM didn't show up last night. Marty should have been camped out in front of the house. If OM showed up and he needed "evidence" he could have looked through a windows to see if clothes were coming off, snap a few pics and the pound the fricking door down before it went any further. I can't believe he was adviced to just stand back and let it happen. No, the advice is not to let it happen. It is not to fire a shot (to go in there) unless he can prove that they are up to something. Showing up 5 minutes after the OM gets there will prove nothing! Now, if he got some photos, as you said, of them i nthe living room going at it...then hey, I'm all for coitus interruptus!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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**edit**
Stop this from happening Marty. This is for your benefit in the future.
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 10:37 AM. Reason: TOS - harassment
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STOP!
Please keep posts productive and respectful! It is ok to disagree just do it respectfully and without profanity. We don't want to have to lock this thread but will if this doesn't stop.
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Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. They want you to pursue the easy way, the weak way, which usually leads to destruction.
I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional! I usually agree with a lot of your views but letting OM bang his wife is destructive to this man's mind and to WW's soul. It's one thing if Marty had no clue of this possible meeting but it's another when he does (or strongly suspects)and does nothing. Isn't Marty's role as her H to protect his wife when danger is known?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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As I said Marty, you can believe these folks...or Dr. Harley. I had the same type of folks posting to me many times in the middle of my mess. Of course, if I had followed their advice, I would be divorced and would not have our fourth child...my one year old son.
I am glad I did it the right way!!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Oh for gods sake IAM -- you act like Marty has some opportunity to stop this before it becomes a physical affair.
This has been going on for MONTHS. I guarantee the act has already happened.
He needs evidence that is unrefutable. If he barges in and stops everything before he gets that proof, then he RUINS his chances of EVER getting it.
Plus his wife and OM will pre-empt all of his plans.
He needs to be STRATEGIC, not EMOTIONAL.
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Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Isn't Marty's role as her H to protect his wife when danger is known? Yes, it's called his marriage vows. When he knowingly let's his wife sleep with OM he is just as guilty for breaking the vows as she is.
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Marty,
As you can see, there are some on here that do not believe in MB principles nor following what Dr. Harley has researched for over 30 years. They want you to pursue the easy way, the weak way, which usually leads to destruction.
I think you are smart enough to know to follow the advice of the professional! I usually agree with a lot of your views but letting OM bang his wife is destructive to this man's mind and to WW's soul. It's one thing if Marty had no clue of this possible meeting but it's another when he does (or strongly suspects)and does nothing. Isn't Marty's role as her H to protect his wife when danger is known? His role is her protector. The problem is EXACTLY what LEXXXY just said! He cant stop it! It already probably has happened. Any attempt to stop it will either be unsuccessful or illegal. Guess what, I KNOW what it feels like to have seen this. I know the feelings and the hit to me. I also know, as Lexxxy said, if I had followed and tried to protect my emotions, I would have lost the war! And I would be divorced. So, it is why I have advised that if he cant handle discovering this, then have a brother, friend or PI do it.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Oh for gods sake IAM -- you act like Marty has some opportunity to stop this before it becomes a physical affair.
This has been going on for MONTHS. I guarantee the act has already happened.
He needs evidence that is unrefutable. If he barges in and stops everything before he gets that proof, then he RUINS his chances of EVER getting it.
Plus his wife and OM will pre-empt all of his plans.
He needs to be STRATEGIC, not EMOTIONAL. Why exactly does he need pictures of OM entering in the PM and leaving in the AM. Really, why this 'unrefutable' evidence?!
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**edit**
moderator's note: if you have an issue about moderator actions, email the mod. But STOP disrupting this thread!
Last edited by Revera; 01/08/09 11:03 AM. Reason: TOS- arguing with moderators
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