Karma, what's your story? I don't see that you've ever posted anything about yourself. It helps people to learn to trust you if they know where you're coming from.

I don't think I've ever used that lil dude before, I think he's kinda disgusting. But nothing better expresses my sentiment to the above quote.

Aw3, good for you for your strength and stability. You have been a rock for your kids.

< TJ > Well, I have a mother who is...well, she had 5 kids before 21. I'll leave it at that.

Rather than take care of me she let my paternal grandparents have custody. I haven't seen her in years. My father spent a good deal of time in prison and when he got out, spent most of his time with his lady friends.

Recently when my paternal grandfather died, one of my uncles told my father and my other uncle (who is the relative I spoke of earlier. The doctors told him he is the worst bipolar case he's ever seen) they had to get jobs IMMEDIATELY if we were going to keep our doublewide.

What does my father do? He goes off to live with a girlfriend.

I've almost completely shut down emotion-wise and pride myself on my apathy. (And ability to see others' views)

< /TJ >

However, I do find that I like reading and commenting on forums like these. I like to help people.

Also -- 19, never married, never dated. Men haven't really found me attractive...

Apologies to AB3 for TJing.

kr, will you start your own thread? How about on Emotional Needs? That's a great place to just sit and chat about stuff. I'd love to hear more.

Oh, and btw, 19 and never married...thank God! I told D18 that if she marries before 25 I'll divorce her, lol.

Come on over and talk!

sorry for the TJ, ab3.

But congratulations! I remember when you first came here and she was just messing with you so badly! I'm so very proud of how you've turned this around. What a great success story. Sometimes saving a marriage at all costs just isn't the answer.

3K, do you have an update for us?

(bump)

Hey guys.

Man, I remember six months ago being on this site ALL the time and posting MULTIPLE times daily. What a difference time makes in all of us!

As to your requested update...things are going well.

I just received notice today that the FINAL Adoption hearing is scheduled for Dec. 23rd. What a Christmas gift!!! I'm sure it will almost seem anti-climactic after all of the hoops I've had to jump through these past few months. I'm just glad that legal battle is also coming to a close. Thank God that I will be awarded this precious girl. I often wonder if this would be happening had I not remained true to my faith and values at a time when the temptation to do otherwise was overwhelming?

My other two children are doing great. They still HATE visits with the X, but they've learned to accept it and endure.

Speaking of the X...Yes, she is still relentlessly begging to come "home." I only answer the phone when she has the kids and she has learned to take advantage of that opportunity to express her feelings.

The truth is, she NEVER thought I would actually go through with the divorce. She has offered to give her unborn child up for adoption if I will take her back and has settled into the routine of sending text messages daily pledging her "love."

She even asked last night (in a text) if I would allow her to be in my home Christmas morning with the kids. I politely ignored her request. I feel she gave up the right to celebrate the birth of our Savior with us when she left without justification and caused so much pain to us all.

It should be an interesting holiday season. The kids and I are very busy attending gatherings and events, and the oldest two are really looking forward to helping play Santa for the little one this year.

All of my shopping is complete (whew!) and we're all ready to start "new" family traditions. Now...if I only knew how to giftwrap!!??!?!??!?

God Bless!

You sound so happy and so strong, aw3. That is awesome! I'm so happy for you! Congrats on the final hearing, that has to be one of the greatest xmas gifts ever. Your strength with regard to your stbXW is admirable. Really.

It's nice to see you are doing so much better now...

If contact is necessary, I'd find out about her pregnancy somehow. When she's due, etc. You want to know because I have a feeling she will put you on the birth certificate. (With all the desperate things she has pulled it's almost a guarantee she'll do this)

And you do have only a limited time to contest that, if she does.

AW3K, that is such a great update.

You are an inspiration to so many. Thanks for letting us know how it's going.

Just FYI...

FINAL Adoption Hearing tomorrow morning (Tuesday) at 10:45.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers throughout the last six months of this process.

THIS is the best Christmas gift ever!!!

I am truly blessed!

Yay! You all deserve it so much!

Cool AB!!!! Happy Holidays!!!!

Yes, and let's not forget, the first Christmas gift was a child...
:MerryChristmas:

Merry Christmas, AB3.

Today is the 23rd. The hearing should have been today. How did it go? :wavingsanta:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

The Adoption was finalized yesterday. All went smoothly, no surprises. No more threats of removing my child!

Received judge's signed Divorce Decree today in the mail.

So...basically, I gained a daughter this Christmas and lost a "Wife."

I think I came out ahead on this trade under the circumstances.

Thanks again for your concern.

ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES!!!

God Bless!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

What a wonderful wonderful Christmas present. You are truly blessed this Christmas. What a wonderful happy ending!!!
:MerryChristmas:

You are absolutely a model for many of us. What you have accomplished and how you have grown in 2008 is simply amazing.


:MerryChristmas: :happynewyear:

Well, it's a new year with new challenges. On Jan. 2nd, I was laid-off from the "new" job. Not totally unexpected, business sucked, but still yet another in a long list of changes my kids and I have had to endure.

For the past three days, I have been in numerous in-depth conversations with the X. For months and months, I refused to take her calls and only spoke to her concerning the kids. For whatever reason, Monday night I took her call and listened to what she had to say.

It was the usual tear-filled apology and admittance to all of her wrongdoings. She did, of course, beg once again to reutrn home. She went on to say she would do ANYTHING do be a wife and mother to my children once again (moreso than just during the occasional visit). She expressed the need for spiritual guidance from me and the ultimate hope to "find God's will."

I suppose just to test her, I HIGHLY IMPLIED that a new job and a visit to an adoption agency might be in order. No, I never said that she could come home if she quit her job (where this all began...remember, "chaplain") or gave away her illegitimate child for adoption; I guess I just wondered if she really meant ANYTHING.

What I've learned is that ANYTHING meant...ANYTHING other than my job or my kid. Basically, she's willing to do NOTHING except apologize and hope I'll agree to take her and her child back in.

I realize there are those among you who are raising a child brought into your homes by infidelity. Honestly, I don't know that I could allow her to give away a child either, but she wouldn't even discuss it. Maybe I just wanted to know that, for once, she was considering my needs and emotions above her own...didn't happen!

I have now made it clear that I will help her spiritually to the extent that I can...I would do that for anyone. I have made it clear that I am not willing to raise this child as my own but have accepted her apology.

Maybe for a brief moment I just wanted to believe "the dream" of a truly Christian home (both parents) for my children...or maybe I just sadistically relished in her torment and despair, who knows?

I guess I knew she wasn't really done...I knew that the guilt and despair of her situation would catch up to her and she would turn to me to rescue her, but it just can't happen on her terms. Truthfully, I can't even imagine what my terms would be if I did want her back. I realize it's not her I want at all, it's "the dream."

Dream On, I suppose!

It's amazing, to me, how our minds can change when we come out of the fog of betrayal. It seems we sometimes wake up and realize that we want more than we really had.

I know that I realized that my xh wasn't really in the marriage for years. He was just acting the part but he wasn't doing a good job meeting my emotional needs.

Sorry about your job. I do hope another one comes along very soon. An even better one!

Glad you and the children are doing well.

Glad you had a moment of clarity and insight w/ xw