Just heard an interesting tidbit via the work grapevine:

My xWW, who desperately has been wanting to get pregnant, in her before-the-ink-was-dry-affair-marriage to the much-older, thrice-divorced and thrice-adulterous POSOM, has a problem. Get this...

He went to the doctor with a "problem"--he is IMPOTENT!

Truly amazing

whoops!

That is the best Karmic response I have seen. ROFL

So OM is shootin blanks. What do you want to bet he KNEW he was impotent all this time, and just failed (cough, cough) to tell her.

After all, cheats DO lie.

Karma!

I've never really discussed the topic but isn't impotence the same as erectile dysfunction? Then he's not even aiming.

I suspect that impotence is one of the worst things a man can imagine. Serves OM right!

I believe he's referencing erectile dysfunction, not sterility.

Which is hilarious. I love Karma.

Well, they definitely were having sex while they were both cheating and I have heard evidence from the POSOM's xBW that my xWW was probably pregnant by him at the time of our D (subsequent miscarriage?), so this may be a fairly recent development--advancing age, hypertension, BP meds he is now on, I suspect.

They got affair-married in 12/07 (days after his 3rd D was final) and we both have been wondering why she isn't pregnant yet--bio clock and all... Mr. POS has no interest in being a real father (has abandoned 2 of his prior 3 kids and barely pays attention to the 3rd) but definitely wants to trap xWW so she can't leave easily. He HAS the motivation even if for dishonorable reasons. xWW (at least) HAD it as well, though I wonder if she is waking up to the notion that POS is far from decent fatherhood material based on what she has seen and learned. They both sure put on a good "blended-family-of-the-year" act in '07! Now the youngest kid (lives mostly with his xBW) hates them and refuses to see them and POS's xBW is suing them for back child support payments and reopening the custodial case for more money.

In the spring of '08 I heard via a reliable source that xWW was complaining of being "unhappy" and "that the honeymoon is over". Yet, despite telling me in 7/08 that she regrets being "so hard-headed" with regards to us and "took (me) for granted" [boo-hoo!!], for some strange reason she yet remains attached to this man who truly isn't worth a bucket of warm spit.

I suppose she is too stubborn to admit error and knows what my family, friends, and I have come to think of her...so she holds on as she has no one else to run to. Beyond stupid....

From what you write it sounds like she will stay with him only until she finds someone better.

I totally understand that a BS wants the affairage to fail. My XH recently moved in with MOW. I am certain that their "relationship" will end in disaster. But I know that it is best for me to spend as little time and energy as possible thinking about it.

Yes, ED=impotence. Not being able to "answer the call of duty" would be a very humiliating thing for just about any guy. The acquaintance who witnessed the medical office confession told me "what goes around, comes around...!"; thus, the title of this thread. She said Mr. POS was an arrogant, full-of-himself a$$ until he he became very MEEK when discussing why he was there...

Get this: Mr. POS even had the gall to say the I referred him! (NO SUCH THING WOULD EVER HAPPEN). Maybe he thought that by dropping my name he would get some preferred service...WTF? His xBW tells me that POS is constantly trying to pump himself up and social-climb to places he could never earn on his own. Bizarre!
[I am an MD and known colleague of the Dr. he was seeing]

That is really the crux of it. Having an A is bad enough, but the constant and ongoing lying hurt me even more. xWW lied to EVERYONE--family, friends, counselor, and ME. She still denies responsibility and has shown nothing approaching true remorse or genuine repentance. It is just impossible to respect someone like that...

The "man" must be without a brain if he claims that the ex husband of his affair partner has advised him about his ED.

Mr. POS didn't claim I "advised him about his ED". He claimed that I referred him to the doctor he was seeing...probably to make himself look like a name-dropping, big-shot VIP (maybe that is how he got the appt. in the first place). [Not to pat myself on the back here], but I have been a respected member of the medical staff here for over 10 years and it helps to "know somebody" when trying to get in to a busy office. I'm sure POS didn't realize when he was name-dropping that the RN he was speaking to knew and worked with me as well and that he was about to be questioned by her as to why he was there as a new patient.

Thus, the sudden change in demeanor...LOL

You think? This dude (or should I say - dudette) is unstinkingbelievable.

What I'm trying to figure out is why you even care if the OM has ED and can't get it up?

I'm sure his doc can give him something for it.

And your ex is stuck with him.

But how are YOU doing?

Believer:

Believe me, I did not seek this information--it came to me in a casual conversation from a co-worker who was unaware at the time of the background information between me, xWW, and Mr. POS.

Thank you for your concern over me. I am doing well and certainly much better than I was a year ago. I do not claim to be completely "healed" or "over it all" (if that is ever completely possible). I still occasionally have "bad days", sadness, and even resentment over the way my xWW behaved and the (poor and utterly immoral) choices she made. Yes, you are right--that is all HER problem and not my concern now.

NC with her is slowly making the pain fade away and life's other opportunities appear more appealing. Thanks again...

Are you making efforts to go out and do things with some women? It is always best to wait for about 2 years before you get serious with anyone, but you need to start focusing on the future.

I'm sure your wife will regret her choices at some point.

Of course! I date fairly frequently and do things with platonic friends of both genders. I have not yet found anyone who I seriously consider to be "the one" and I am firm about NOT SETTLING just to be with someone. I confess to being VERY picky about who I would consider to be "long-term material".

My xWW (as most WSs do) clearly threw herself at someone who was/is totally inappropriate in so many ways (even if she had been single) and someone she would never had been with under "normal" circumstances. That is the nature of affairs--they are born of neediness, desperation, and flights of fantasy escape and are maintained via "fog" and illogical emotional energy. I am sure she will come to regret her actions (and probably secretly already does), but I cannot wait around in the meantime.

I started this thread to show others how "reaping what you sow" comes back around to get you eventually...believe me, the topic of this thread is just one of several examples of that in her situation.

Someday, I would hope that she would "come clean" to me and offer true admission, remorse, and apology for the purpose of final closure. I know that won't happen until she hits "rock bottom" when her M inevitably falls apart. If/when it does, I will calmly advise her to be by herself for a while to counsel, read, introspect, and learn. And then, after growth and healing, to go find someone to build a new life with that does not require moral compromises or the destruction of existing lives to do it.

I have no respect or value or honor left for her...that is the best I can offer her in kindness.

Oh, I see. Mostly the cheaters don't have a very good life. It takes some time, but most are miserable and divorce again.

Glad that you are getting out and taking your time.