I am very newly married to a man I love but don't completely respect. I knew him as a friend for about a year and a half before we got married. I felt strongly I should marry him and want desperately for our marriage to last. We are not even 3 months into our marriage and I have roller-coaster ups and downs wanting to stay and wanting an annulment/divorce. Overall, I think he is a pretty good guy with some serious issues. Issues I could dismiss as a friend but are pretty much impossible to ignore as a wife. His ex wife is a nightmare to deal with as she does as much as she can to keep him/us separated from his two small boys. We often get into terrible arguments because he does things to try to keep peace with her regardless of whether or not I am happy with the decision. I feel like her feelings are more of a priority to him than mine. He isn't a deadbeat dad, he loves his boys tremendously and if guilty of anything, it is being overindulgent. There is way too much for me to try and write here, I am so frustrated I don't know where to begin. He isn't very concerned about working, and overall, in my opinion is very lazy. He is content to sit around the house all day watching tv and wear the same clothes for a whole week with a shower or two in between. He works part time and doesn't show any interest at all in securing additional employment. I have a stronger work ethic and am much more motivated than he is and it makes me want to scream. I feel if he doesn't begin to take my feelings more into consideration over those of his ex wife and show initiative in getting more income, I am going to seek an end to this marriage. Someone please help!

Those are some really tough issues--you must feel like they're eating you alive! I think the best thing to do would be to seek marriage counseling ASAP. Try looking up marriage & family counselors in your area.

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It must be really hard for you to deal with him not meeting your emotional needs. Does he know how you feel about these issues? Again, I would really suggest seeking counseling. That could provide you both with a safe environment in which to express your thoughts & feelings so that he doesn't feel like you're "attacking" or "nagging" him (annoying, typical male complaint). And maybe it could provide him with a way to step back and examine how he's conducting his life, and see what he's really doing (or not doing). People can become so incredibly blind to themselves and hurt the people they love without even realizing it or meaning to; sometimes they need something to give them perspective on their behavior. Plus, getting a counselor into the equation may make him feel accountable to not just you, but also the counselor. His behavior certainly can't be healthy for either one of you, and it's just about impossible to imagine him actually being happy living the way he is, or feeling any sort of fulfillment in life by continuing to behave in that manner. It's possible that he could be depressed, too. Please don't give up, and keep posting.